We’ve all heard the stories of young people having a terrible time on their missions. These are especially prevalent in the ex-Mormon community where they are used to show how harmful the LDS Church is. Just this last week I was listening to another podcast about a Sister Missionary coming home early because religious scrupulosity (undiagnosed at the time) was causing debilitating physical symptoms. She could not live up the the high standards she and the mission had set for herself. She has since left the Church, and is living a full life with her husband and children.
Every time I listen or read one of these stories, and have some cognitive dissonance in relating to my own mission. I had such a great time on my mission! For those long time W&T readers, you know that I’ve posted about my mission many times. You can read some of then here, here, here and here.
I am so grateful for my missionary experiences. I learned so many life skills on my mission. I attended a year of college before my mission, with a GPA of 2 point something. After my mission I had a 4.0. I learned to talk to strangers, to get along with weird people (some of my companions). In fact it was so well known, that my mission president actually told me he was sending me the troubled missionaries because he had heard how well I got along with everybody. I learned public speaking skills, and because of that I taught effective presentation skills at my work.
I had a great mission president, that was easy going and not a stickler for the rules. Our mission in Southern Chile (Concepcion) was really spread out. None of our living arrangements had telephones. I would go 2-3 months without talking with anybody in the mission office, including the President. “Teach then correct principles and let them govern themselves” seemed to be the mission mantra.
I have grandkids getting to the age that they will be going on missions soon. I often wonder what their missions will be like. I realize it will never be like mine, those days are gone. I think even the most laid back Mission President is restrained with all the new rules and requirements. For example, on my mission the Zone leaders had a regular companion (both in the companionship were not Zone Leaders, only one). When I was Zone leader we had a Zone Leaders conference in the middle of the mission. I traveled alone by train (as did most of the other ZLs) to the meeting, and then that evening came home alone on the train. I did not fornicate with any of the lolitas on the train. Today a missionary would be sent home for riding a train alone, yet I did it at my Mission President’s direction.
I don’t feel bad for the 50 or so people I taught and baptized. There was no coercion, no baseball baptisms. Most were adults, and any children were baptized with their parents. There was no pressure, and they all enjoyed church. I don’t know how many are still active, but I would guess maybe 20%.
I hope my grandkids get to go to a foreign country, and learn a new language. This will forever change them for the better. I hope they meet interesting people, and eat weird food (tripe soup anybody?)
For those that went on a mission and found it a positive experience, how do you process that with your current feelings about the Church? If you could have a do-over, would you not go on a mission? Even with everything I know today, I would go again (despite the pants pooping incident) . You?
Wheat & Tares 
Thank you for a post which accentuates the positive, Bishop Bill. I’m sure nostalgia plays a role in my fondness. Nevertheless, I fall into the camp of folks who say, “My mission was hard, but I wouldn’t trade it.”
I went to New England in the mid 1990s. My mission, the New Hampshire Manchester Mission then presided over by President Robert Norman (of Mormon Leaks slide fame), and later by Charles R. Hobbs (of time management fame), included the birthplace of the prophet Joseph Smith. We regarded ourselves as “Redeeming the Land of Brother Joseph.” We had no cell-phones or email, no social media (thank goodness), and were only allowed to call home on Mothers Day, Fathers Day, and Christmas. We did lots of door to door work, and media referrals involving VHS copies of Church-produced films like, “On the Way Home.” Service projects were limited to 4 hours a week.
Especially during the second year of my mission, I suffered from intense depression and anxiety. In hindsight, I should have been in therapy. My mission presidents were of the Work Harder and Pray Harder kind, though they were also very loving. Inspired leaders would have suggested I meet with a licensed clinical therapist. Yet, I wouldn’t trade my mission, and I never feel envious when I hear or read descriptions of today’s missions and missionaries. I was immersed in something that took every thing I had, that effectively previewed how hard it is to be an adult, and that filled me with purpose. Most of all, I loved studying for two hours every morning.
If I could have a do-over, perhaps I would trade in my mission experience. But only in exchange for something similar, like the Peace Corps—something intense, something unavoidably painful but with loving supports built in. So, I guess I will just go on saying, quite sincerely, I’m grateful for the mission experience I had.
1990-91 I loved the culture and language of my mission (major country in Europe) but it took a while to learn that staying busy, however fruitless the efforts, was the way to make time go faster so I could return home. Obviously I would not serve again but now gently quarreling with my wife to keep undiscovered areas of my mission country on our travel bucket list…c’est la vie…
PET PEEVE: comments on social media regarding mission calls such as – “The country/state of (wherever) will love your son. They are getting a good one.”
If that was true (sorry to be a curmudgeon) the people of wherever would be dressed in white baptismal jumpsuits to meet the newly arriving missionary at the airport. The truth is so much different and may or may not have something to do with Dua Lipa, love of hotdogs, Dairy Queen, Irish nachos, cat videos etc.
My son spent a year as a Fulbright Scholar in the country of origin of my wife. That experience provided most of the great things that come out of LDS missionary service, but probably in an even more meaningful way, since he was completely embedded within the culture and not half in LDS mission culture like you are as a missionary. But obviously that opportunity is not available to everyone.
While I clearly couldn’t in good conscience serve an LDS proselyting mission again, a lot of my mission time was spent helping refugees navigate the US green card / SS / welfare system as a semi-decent translator and great bureaucratic form reader, so I don’t regret that at all.
I improved a lot on my social skills and how to cope with being constantly around one person 24 h per day. I was probably the at fault companion 50% of the time, but didn’t realize that in the moment. That definitely helped with marriage.
I experienced a lot of things that clearly defined my outlook subsequently. Translating for police in certain situations taught me not to trust them and to see the racist bullying approach some of them took. (Even though it was the police that asked us to translate.) Translating in hospitals taught me a lot about what it’s like to be a family not getting helpful information and that going to an American ER meant hours and hours of waiting to be seen by a doctor. Watching a community being devasted by someone shooting up an elementary school with a bunch of refugee kids, certainly brought home the gun violence in the US that echoed the violence these refugees and been trying to escape in their home country. So yes, I wouldn’t trade these experiences even though they were traumatic, because they taught me a reality I hadn’t previously known about my country.
Probably one bad habit I learned was filling time in with somewhat trivial tasks all the time just to convince myself I was working hard. And the habit of just showing up at someone’s house to see how they were doing. Those things I regret.
Count me in the camp of those who have very fond memories of my mission. I gained a lot of skills (or revealed things I was naturally good at that I wouldn’t have done otherwise), and more than that, I lived in places I would never have lived in, talked to people I would never have talked to, and learned to love people who were totally outside my upper middle-class American life up to that point: heroin addicts, prostitutes, domestic abuse victims, people with socio-economic challenges, someone who was either crazy or maybe the mafia really was trying to kill her. One of the kids of a family I taught & baptized met his husband on his mission. He’s a great kid, although he was born after my mission ended, so I only met him later. I’m not sure where else I would have personally gained those experiences, given my resources and options. The benefits I gained from my mission were related to the people and the nature of service, not to the conversion process of other people. The experience of dealing with the church stuff, the rules, the uptight or even abusive missionaries–none of that was great, although aside from the church’s unique culture (the teaching content, the conservatism, and the meetings), I’ve worked in environments where someone put a jerk in charge or where the rules made no sense at all or where a co-worker was wound way too tightly. I did see much more clearly as a result of my mission just how off track the church was in terms of how women were treated (totally hit & miss regarding how the sisters were treated, but absolutely disastrous for any women who were victims of abuse or had an abortion, even to protect themselves from further exploitation and abuse).
It’s a different question whether I think a young person today should go. If you are going to be Mormon, you probably have to for social reasons even still, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be a good or worthwhile experience. Like Bishop Bill, a lot of why my mission was a positive experience is timing (a little college under my belt gave me some time to grow up), more independence as missionaries (you can’t grow up when the mission rules prevent it), and a president who was mostly supportive and not a zealot bordering on mental illness or someone striving to climb the church ladder. I knew others whose presidents were like that, and they didn’t have great experiences. It matters a lot.
I’d have a hard time recommending that women serve because the church does not respect them as equals. I’d have a hard time recommending anyone go straight out of high school. What is this? Summer camp?
Oh well, I’m off to Google what Irish nachos are. It’s well past the time I should know that given their popularity here.
On a positive note, I appreciate what I learned on a mission about living with someone else 24/7.
I would not serve again because of my current thoughts about (1) tithing and rainy day hedge funds, (2) historical concerns (see Elder Cook talking about Elijah and Joseph Smith at the recent Gen Conf) (3) legal briefs masquerading as declarations/proclamations and (4)everything else I have complained about at this site over the years.
Oaks’ “Good, Better, Best” talk (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2007/10/good-better-best?lang=eng) comes to my mind. I consider my mission to have been quite a positive experience for me for many of the reasons that others have already mentioned. I would put it in Oaks’ “good” maybe even his “better” category. Was it the “best” use of my time? No, I don’t think so. It’s true that I would almost certainly have chosen some alternate activity that provided similar experiences/benefits that my mission provided to me, but the Church could have given me a “best” experience if they’d allowed me to provide some sort of meaningful service for a significant portion of time, instead of having to hassle people on the streets for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.
I’m really grateful for this post, because as frustrated as I’ve been by church leadership over the past, oh, decade-plus, I do indeed count my mission as one of my greatest and most formative experiences. For two solid years, I awoke each morning and the only personal choice I had to make was which tie to wear; the entire rest of the day, my exclusive focus was on serving and helping others. Even in my current profession as an educator, I still don’t get to experience that same absolute purity of purpose. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve worked construction, I’ve worked lumber, and I’ve gotten a PhD, but a mission is still the hardest thing I’ve ever done—but also the most rewarding.
I in fact roll my eyes at those who claim young missionaries are all sheltered and siloed (the South Park musical is especially guilty of this), because for reals, the sheer diversity of humanity you encounter on your mission, including people you would absolutely never encounter nor interact with otherwise, is unparalleled.
Are LDS missionaries in a bubble? I would offer that it’s actually all the rest of us who are in a bubble, rarely if ever interacting with anyone outside of our jobs, neighbors, tax brackets, and immediate social circles. For many young missionaries, this is in fact their first time getting *out* of their bubbles.
I don’t consider my mission on balance to have been a positive experience, but there were definite positive elements. I’m a socially anxious person, and it forced me (and not gently!) to get better at interacting with lots of new people. It’s also the first time I lived away from home. I had been to a little college before, but I went to a close school and lived at home. I’m glad I went for having gained some skills, but I wish I could have gained them without so much pressure and stress over not meeting baptism numbers.
Major European country in the early 1980’s. The mission was brutal. Nothing but tracting, all day long. I had some absolutely wonderful companions. I think the brutality drew companions closer. In spite of the difficulty and many days fighting deep loneliness, it was an absolutely formative period. Like others, we had very minimal contact with the mission president or office. We were just young dudes on our own, trying to make the best decisions we could. I spoke to my family twice, both times from a payphone while shoving Deutsch Marks into the phone. 5 minutes max. I was completely shell-shocked when I got home, but I was very aware that I had survived a tough experience, and that gave me confidence. The weird gospel things I was subjected to through mission culture, took me years to unwind, but eventually in life I came to know a very loving God and Savior – full of grace, love, and compassion. Ironically, my mission was a bit of an obstacle to come to that. I don’t know if I would have cared enough to fight through the dissonance to come to that spot, had I not served. Because of that alone, I consider it a worthwhile two years. Plus: two years in Europe, learning a foreign language, experiencing a different culture, talking to strangers, being laughed at, that all added depth to my personality that I am grateful for.
I went to Southern California (Anaheim) in 1974-76. It was basically a good experience for me at the time. I came from a very conservative, midwestern family from Ohio. While I had been active in the church in Ohio, it was my first prolonged encounter with Mormon Culture. In 1974, the church was not as conservative as it is today. Yes, it was still conservative but not MAGA-like. Being raised in a John Birch family, I remember talking to other missionaries about politics and being told how crazy my ideas were. I also remember dealing with pushy, hypocritical leaders, usually other missionaries, who often came from Utah. I still believed, though, and felt it was a good two years. I came home, went to college, married, and shortly (four years) got divorced. I was even in a Bishopric at the time. This was a major shock, and I began to seriously try to find answers about why it was me who felt like I was being punished when I had “done things right.” This started at about age 25 with reading and studying a lot, trying to fit in when I moved to Utah, asking questions, getting married to a Utah/California girl with a church legacy that went back to Kirtland, and it all being amplified by my career in education, where I learned even more about how the church translated into society here in Utah. What it all means is that after 30 years, I got divorced again, rejected what is now MAGA, quit going to church, and got married a third time to someone who had a similar church experience. Now I have nightmares about being on a mission.
Southern Brazil 2001-03. I didn’t know it at the time, but my mission president was uncommonly reasonable. Yes, we got pushed to work hard and have results, but nothing like the horror stories of guilt and shame I’ve heard from so many others. My companions were all pretty reasonable, too. Obviously they had their share of obnoxious quirks (just like I did). As it was South America, we were relatively “successful” missionaries; we got to teach a lot and baptize some. After all these years, what pisses me off the most about the whole thing is how hard we were worked. I lived in Brazil for two years, but never attended a soccer game at any level. We were barely aware of national holidays and what they meant. They took us to a museum while I was in the MTC in Sao Paulo (not that we spoke any Portuguese at the time) but we literally never would have thought to experience any of the stuff around us. The degree to which our experience could have been transformed by something as simple as only making us work 60 hours a week, or making P-day be an actual entire day would have been amazing. We could have experienced so much more of where we were living, and perhaps experiences a little less mental trauma.
As to whether I’d do it again? It’s tough to say. Not serving a mission at that point in my life has so much other stuff attached to it. It’s not a choice that exists in a vacuum. I was a student at BYU, so there would have been all sorts of social costs. And I like how a lot of things in my life have turned out, so I’d be re-rolling the dice on roommates at college, getting married, and everything else that comes afterward.
After reading the post and the comments, I shared many experiences of prior commentors. I served i9n Indiana and Kentucky from 1973 to 1975. The OPEC oil embargo was happening just at the same time. Future NBA star Larry Bird was starting his college career and it felt strange to get involved in conversations about baskesketball and to be the only person who had no idea who no idea who Larry Bird was. At that time Hoosiers, residents if indiana were were absolutely nuts about basketball all levels. Both of my Mission Presidents were good decent men who were human beings in how led the mission. My firs president was one of Ezra Taft Benson’s but he showed of his fathers politcal tendencies. He could stern when needed but cared for his missionaries. My second Mission President was an architech who designed the Washinton DC temple which also was dedicated in that time period. We got alot of stories about the construction of that temple that most people will never know about which were used as object lessons. I was socially backward when I became a missionary. Like other commentors I learned to talk to every one we emcountered. That is a skill I now cherish. I have many cherished memories of the thing we did and accomplished. My mother was the one, who here letters subtely understood my experience because she had served a fulltime mission prior the marraige and understood what I was experiencing. In the years after my return did she begin to open up about her mission did i begin realize how common our experiences were. I probably would not choose to do it again. In looking back on the experience, it is a good thing that we send naive teenagers out as missionaries because they did things that sane adults would not do. Which why armies recruit teenagers to become soldiers.
I would put my mission at about 70/30 positive to negative. I loved learning a new language and living in a different country, meeting all sorts of people and experiencing a different culture. My mission president was probably on the strict side of the spectrum but he wasn’t awful. I wouldn’t know it for another decade or two, but I had an undiagnosed mental illness and that caused a lot of the worst issues with my mission. I would have been a mess anywhere. The stress of a mission probably exacerbated some symptoms, but not any worse than law school did.
If I could go back and make the decision all over again, I would go again.
Served in Hong Kong from 1999-2001.
Positives: Got lucky with great companions, HK is amazing on P-day with so much to experience, my second mission president was a kind person who focused on missionary care, I loved learning Chinese, loved the food, mission was very safe, and given how small the mission is I really got to meet all the elders and sisters.
Negatives: My first mission president cared only about numbers and for my personality type it was not a good combination. Not proud of the person I became in that culture and my second MP spent a lot of time undoing that culture. Mission politics are real and horrid. I never saw the people as people but as numbers. I hate that, and each trip back to the Kong I spend time just seeing the people to make up for that prior misstep.
In short, given how I was raised, this was my only opportunity to have a formative experience like this living in another culture and broadening my world view. This was my first time outside America and since then I’ve hit 20 countries and will hit country 21 in three weeks. But not sure if I would do it over again.
For my kids, they are fortunate to be raised with more opportunities. They’ve pretty much been to 20 countries minus a few work trips I took without them, including living as expats. My oldest is a freshman in college and we are currently researching a summer 2027 study abroad that will hopefully check the positives on my list above but avoid the negatives. So I think it’s entirely possible to craft an overseas experience for a 20-something today that doesn’t need to be an LDS mission.
I served a mission in Venezuela from 81 to 83. I wasn’t a great missionary–I experienced a lot of home sickness. But even though it was hard–and fun sometimes–I went out the door every day and did the work. And by the end of my mission I had mixed emotions–I was glad to be going home but I also ached at the thought of leaving Venezuela behind. I remember when the plane took off–I looked out the window at the coastline and watched it until it disappeared over the horizon.
That said, even though I was a rather mediocre missionary I am immensely glad that I had such an experience. There are many valuable things that can be learned while serving a mission–things that have to do with just about every aspect of life. And one of those things is getting a sense of how much work is involved in building the kingdom. It requires strenuous effort–so much so that for some folks–like me–it can become rather wearisome. But even so, the effort we put into the Lord’s work–even when we are weak and inefficient–has a sanctifying effect on our souls.
I would still go on my mission. It wasn’t the greatest two years of my life, but it was the right thing for me at that time.
Ukraine, 1991-1993. It was an extraordinary time in history to be there, the mission was a positive experience spiritually, and on top of all that it was just quite an exciting adventure for a kid like me. I was grateful to be a part of it and I have no regrets about going. I would have a hard time committing to such an experience given my current beliefs, unless there was far less emphasis on preaching a specific story about the restoration and more on service and showing people one way to live a good life and be part of a religious community. I know some people I taught are still active and some are definitely not. I hope those who participated in the church for a time and don’t now still feel there was some positive benefit for them. I’ve had that discussion with at least one person in that situation and he feels there was. I still believe that in particular, preaching the benefits of a teetotaling lifestyle was sorely needed in that part of the world at the time (and may still be), even though at this stage I don’t hold as much judgement for those who don’t choose it.
The hardest part about the mission for me was forcing myself, an introvert, to behave like an extrovert. That learning experience has been beneficial in my adult life. However, the negative of it was that I learned associations between extroversion and “good missionary” that I now don’t believe and took me a long time to unlearn. This is an extrovert’s church, but we don’t talk about that very much.