Last year I wrote several posts about the LDS dating crises (you can read them here and and here) These posts were about how difficult it was for sealed women that found themselves single by divorce or death of a husband, to date and find a worthy LDS man. The impetus for these posts was my daughter that lost her husband to cancer. She was thrust into this dating pool and found that single LDS men wanted to marry a woman they could get sealed to. (where did they get a crazy idea like that???)
Well, it’s now time to write on another topic, since my daughter is now married. She found an LDS man who was sealed to his wife, and also lost her to cancer. They both have a lot in common, and married civilly this last year, bringing together a blended family from both sides.
But since she is already sealed to her deceased husband, she can never be sealed to her current husband in this life. The church has allowed women to be sealed to all husbands that they were legally married to in this life, but only if all parties are dead. What if my daughter does not want to wait until she is dead? This is not the case for men. They can be sealed to as many women as they want, kind of like serial polygamy.
Pres Nelson and Pres Oaks are both on their 2nd sealed wife. Both 2nd wives had never been sealed before, so there was none of this awkwardness that my daughter finds herself in, although I expect it to be quite awkward on the other side when Sister Nelson meets Sister Nelson!
The solution is for everybody, men and women, to be treated the same, and be able to be sealed to everybody they are married to. Maybe it will change when a member of the Q12 remarries a previously sealed sister. Then the heavens will open, and revelation will pour forth on this matter!
In the mean time we need to get rid of the last vestiges of polygamy that still haunt our church, and let the widowed sisters have all the blessing that a sealing brings be available in this life. You can argue that my daughter has those blessing from her sealing to her dead husband, but that is not who she is sitting by in church each Sunday while hearing “eternal families” being preached from the pulpit. In the end, she will probably be married much longer to her current husband than her deceased one. It’s time to change this.