Here are all the rumors I’ve seen on the Internet about what changes will happen during General Conference. These are all real things I’ve seen, I didn’t make any of these up. Since I have so many relatives living in Las Vegas, I’ve added the odds for each one, using how often I’ve seen the rumor, the source, and my keen intellect to set them. You may contact me privately if you wish to wager on any of these.
1. Church Shortened to two hours. Even Money (1:1). What is not known is if Sunday School will be dropped completely, rotated every other week, or all meeting shortened.
2. Changes to missionaries. 2:1. This could be lots of different things, but its looking good that at least one will take place: Lowering age of women to 18. Raising age of men back to 19 (too many kids making a mess!). Adding different lengths of service for those with physical/emotional disabilities (6mo, 12mo, 18mo). Change length of service for everyone. Adding fuel to this rumor is that missionaries receiving calls this week have been told to check the missionary web site after conference for any changes to their calling.
3. No more weddings in Temples, only sealings. 6:1. This will take away the one year wait if you have a civil wedding. This puts North America policy in line with the rest of the world where churches are not allowed to marry people. (Note: The 6:1 odds are for this next week, I give this even odds that is will happen in the next 5 years)
4. Endowment session for the dead reduced to 60 min total. 10:1. Even the dead were falling asleep during the two hour session!
5. Women taking greater role in Ward leadership 12:1. This will come to pass, just not as quick as 60% of the membership wants.
6. Wearing garments only at the temple. 47:1. I think this is just wishful thinking by 98% of the endowed members, but it was proposed in the Q12 earlier last century. Members in hot climates would pay 12% tithing for this to come to pass!
7. Salt Lake Temple closing for a five year renovation. 4:1. It’s got to happen sometime.
8. I get called as bishop again. 874:1. Hell froze over once, not going to happen again in my lifetime!
(Late Breaking: changes to the Word of Wisdom. Some rumors have it adding things like energy drinks and weed, while other rumors have the removing of tea.
All bets must be placed before the Amen is said in the opening prayer on Saturday Morning.