In last month’s BYU devotional, Elder Ballard responded to a question about LGBT members of the Church by stating:
I want anyone who is a member of the Church who is gay or lesbian to know I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do.
It was good to see an apostle actually affirm that gay members “have a place in the Kingdom,” and acknowledge that it may be difficult to see how they fit in the Church, but they do. The problem with this response is that they really only fit so long as they are willing to sacrifice a fundamental aspect of their core humanity. For gay people, that means giving up love and companionship with the person they are naturally attracted to. For trans people, that means giving up living in a way that harmonizes their outward/physical appearance with their inward/mental conception of their true gender identity.
As if to make this clear, he concluded his response with the disclaimer church leaders usually give whenever they talk about LGBT issues:
When we love God, we make and strive to keep our sacred covenants. I testify that living gospel commandments brings anyone untold blessings, allowing us to become our very best selves—exactly who God wants us to be.
In other words, if you are LGBT, you really only fit in the Church if you live the way we think God wants you to live. If you choose differently, desiring in good faith and with all integrity to have the same blessings of love and companionship, or congruent gender identity, that your straight and cis-gendered counterparts have, there really is no place for you. In fact, per official church policy, you are apostate.
Somewhat confusingly, at the same time, the Church, through Deseret Book and LDS Living, has been widely publicizing Tom Christofferson’ new book, which points out how his ward and stake leaders welcomed him and his partner with open arms, even asking Tom to teach occasional lessons in the high priests group.
So the follow-up question for Elder Ballard is: do all LGBT members have a place in the Church, even if they have a partner as Tom Christofferson did when he first returned to church? Should they be treated as apostates per official Church policy, or should they be welcomed with open arms as Tom was by his Bishop and Stake President? Until a church apostle can answer this unequivocally – and not just through less official channels like Deseret Book – LGBT members will continue to wonder if and how they have a place in the Church. And they will continue to be subject to the vagaries of their local leaders (also known as “leader roulette”), many of whom would not be as daring and educated as Tom’s local leaders were.[1]
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[1] Tom’s Bishop “was an investment banker at Goldman Sachs who, a couple of years earlier, had been asked to head their human resources department, including their diversity programs. In that role, he had come to know and respect LGBT colleagues in his firm.” Christofferson, Tom. That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family (Kindle Locations 1365-1367). Deseret Book Company. Kindle Edition.
Excellent questions!
Great questions! I want to say that for me, so much really depends on the lived experience that LGBT folks will experience in church. Having this be up to priesthood or leadership roulette is unacceptable.
I did not have any of the horror stories that I hear from many — but to me, it got to a point when I was in college and going to a YSA ward that was emphasizing getting married as soon as possible that I was really clear about how Mormonism just wasn’t relevant to me. I had committed very early on that I wasn’t going to try to do a mixed orientation marriage that didn’t feel right to me, so trying to force that to happen was a non-starter.
The issue is so much worse in Mormonism because in Mormonism, celibacy actually isn’t a cherished value. There is no theological role for celibacy or singleness (which hurts single members who are straight as well as gay or bi.) So, it’s not just that the church asks for such a huge sacrifice, but that it does so while saying at the same time that the most important thing someone can do in this life is to have a family and children. So much in this life (and the next) depends on that, so if you are for whatever reason not in a heterosexual and child filled marriage, then your very value as a person is considered suspect.
How about all the straight people who just can’t deal with the cruelty of making LGBT people stand apart and face judgment? Who can’t treat their children as though they had committed some great sin themselves? How do we find a place in a callous, unresponsive, judgmental community that will not shift to allow one shred of grace or understanding into its practices?
Not all people have a place in the church. LGBT or not…some are asked to leave based on judgments by certain people in charge who are doing the best they can.
There is a place for everyone who can promise to live by the rules of the club. Everyone else is asked to leave.
And that is unfortunate because that leaves out a lot of good people who could benefit the church if they were allowed to stay.
I like the distinction between Kingdom of God and church. There is a difference.
What if someone stands up against a Nazi government and gets excommunicated from the Church? They might not have a place in the church, but if they did what was right, they have a place in the Kingdom of God.
The thing to have faith in is that God is going to make the correct judgments of who has a place in the Kingdom of God, where as mortals make that judgement for the church organization on the earth.
He said (Matt 7) “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
“And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”
I think some people who have a place in the church, but don’t live the principles they preach, do not have a place in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Likewise…some that don’t seem to be invited into the church as they are, may very well have a place in the Kingdom of Heaven…as they are.
Great questions and post, Bryce. I also appreciate Andrew’s comments about his experience.
Elder Ballard’s comment, “…I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do,” begs the question: Well, Elder Ballard, what is their place? If you know it, clearly state it.
I’d like to know why the church punished gay people for sin as opposed to straight people
FOR.THE.SAME.SIN. If two heterosexual adults are living together and have a teenage son or daughter who wants to be baptized , that kids is welcomed with ooen arms and steps are made to fellowship the whole family. If two gay guys have a teenager who wants to be baptized, s(he) must disavow her family and wait until age 18. This is hypocrisy
Amy Blodgett, an astute question. It is hypocrisy indeed. A double standard is another way to phrase it. Some might also consider it to be good old fashioned prejudice.
I’m a divorced ex-mormon who is gay and married to a man. I attend from time to time. I go to the meetings of my choosing. If I don’t feel welcome. I go to a different ward. Fortunately the ward I would hypothetically be assigned to if I was still a member is great.
Lots of couples can’t have kids. The church doesn’t oppose marriages on the grounds of ability to make a baby (octogenarians can marry as can the infertile). Next stupid argument, please.