Have you ever believed something that you wished you didn’t? Have you ever been unable to believe something that you wished were true? These experiences are linked to something called doxastic involuntarism–the widely accepted psychological principle that humans cannot choose what they believe. When their desires conflict with their actual beliefs, they feel the discomfort of cognitive dissonance.

There are some related concepts to consider in this discussion. First let’s examine people who wish something they desire was true, but they just can’t make themselves believe it. I was thinking of a few examples, both from religion and from other aspects of life. You might, for example, really wish that we lived in a just society that lives up to its ideals, but perhaps you are unable to believe that is really true based on the evidence you see. Commonly, many formerly religious people desire the comfort, community or hope they felt when they were in a religion, but their brain has rejected those beliefs due to lack of evidence or logical contradictions.

  • “Faux-Theism” is a term coined by philosophers to describe people who view faith as beautiful or comforting, but who cannot cross the intellectual barrier to believing it.
  • Intellectual Integrity or Evidentialism is the psychological state in which a person’s commitment to truth and evidence overrides their desire for emotional comfort. They want the existential peace of a loving deity or an afterlife, but their intellect forces them into a state of involuntary disbelief.

By contrast, many people believe things that they wish were not true. There are some “Christian” doctrines that believers don’t like but that they still can’t shake: sexual shame associated with purity culture, a belief in hell or eternal damnation. Mormon women in particular often find the concept of celestial polygamy extremely distressing. These beliefs are only uncomfortable because the person holds them–if you think they aren’t real, they are only distressing insofar as others around you believe them and then impact your life, but the idea in and of itself is not distressing. For example, if you are a mother of a child who is terrified of vampires, and you don’t believe in vampires, you may feel distress for your child as you try to comfort them, but you are not literally trying to protect them from non-existent threats, just their wrong beliefs.

  • Traumatic or Maladaptive Beliefs exist when someone has developed a deep-seated fear of hell, divine judgment, or eternal punishment. Even if they don’t want to believe these things, they are unable to “switch off” their belief that they are real.
  • Moral Dissonance happens when a person’s inherent moral values clash with the dogmas of their religion. For example, a person might feel that policies and doctrines are harmful to marginalized groups and that those doctrines are wrong. This can lead them to wish the religion was not true, even if they still fundamentally believe it is.

You can’t force yourself to believe what you wish, no matter how much you wish it. You also can’t force yourself to stop believing something you wish were not so, even if you can see that it is harmful to your well-being. The gap between what we want and what we think can be one of the most painful forms of existential friction.

  • Have you experienced both of these phenomena?
  • Can you share examples?
  • Which was the most difficult for you?
  • How did things change for you, if they did?
  • Are there some Mormon beliefs you wished weren’t true, but believed they were? Do you still?
  • Are there some Mormon beliefs you wished you could believe, but you never did?
  • Do you know people in other faiths who experienced these two forms of cognitive dissonance?

Discuss.