Introduction
Today’s post is about leaving communities with strongly defined beliefs, and how the former community member’s beliefs might change (or not). Some people leave because the community’s beliefs and practices hurt them personally. Some people leave because their values no longer align with the community’s values. What does it take to cause someone to re-examine their values?
LDS Regret
From reading years of comments here, I know many of us in the W&T community left the Church (or became nuanced or PIMO), at least in part, because it conflicted with our values. The Church’s dishonesty about its history and its wealth, the policies against LGBTQ people, the patriarchy, the hypocrisy about abuse, the racism and refusal to apologize, and so forth. These are values-driven reasons to leave the Church. Those of us who leave for these types of reasons are unlikely to return. We’ve lost our testimonies.
The Church likes to teach that people leave the Church because they got offended. These people exist. There are people who quit attending Church because something happened to them personally — a conflict with a leader; a bad experience in a calling. When someone in this category returns to Church, they tell a beautiful story and testify about forgiveness. Their values and worldview didn’t change; they always had a testimony; they just needed to process through a difficult experience. The Church makes the mistake of thinking everyone is in this category. (Perhaps it’s because the ones who leave Church for values reasons don’t return to testify so the faithful members and leaders don’t hear those stories.)
Of course, a combination of these two reasons happens too. Someone gets offended, leaves, and then that distance gives them some time and space to realize that the Church doesn’t align with their values.
During the early years of COVID, some people quit Church because President Nelson recommended vaccines and masks. I don’t know much about this group. Was that a ‘values’ reason to leave Church? Or an ‘offended’ reason to leave Church? Do these people still have a testimony of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon? Are they gradually drifting back into the fold now that President Nelson is gone? Or did their values change and they’re not coming back? I don’t know.
MAGA Regret
As the economy deterioriates and Trump goes to war in the Middle East, some of those who voted for MAGA regret their vote. Not everyone, but some. I want to compare MAGA regret to leaving the LDS Church. Is the MAGA regret based on a shift in the person’s values? Or is it because they got hurt personally?
Tucker Carlson has come right out and apologized: “I do think it’s like a moment to wrestle with our own consciences,” Carlson said on “The Tucker Carlson Show,” referring to the role of his and others’ support for Trump. “You know, we’ll be tormented by it for a long time. I will be, and I want to say I’m sorry for misleading people.” [source] However, he’s apparently still clinging to the Big Lie that the 2020 election was stolen.
Clearly, Carlson’s values have not changed. He’s just mad at Trump.
Much of the anger against Trump right now comes from the Iran war, the cost of living, and from posting a meme about himself as Jesus and lashing out at the Pope. These folks, like Carlson, are ‘offended’ by Trump’s actions. But I bet many of them are still conservatives and still believe in everything Trump campaigned on.
Reevaluating Values
Let’s change focus a bit to talk about the voters who got hurt by the campaign promises that Trump kept — they just didn’t expect those policies to affect them. These people might be the ones who could rethink their values; have a change of heart; leave MAGA and conservative values behind and become progressive.
For example, this woman:
[image id: a headline that says, “I nearly died! Where’s the pro-life in that?: MAGA mom horrified as doctors tell her she can’t terminate a fatal pregnancy due to strict new abortion laws.” end id.]
Is she now pro-choice because she realizes that government restrictions on abortion can cause real harm? Or is she just upset that the rules applied to her?
Or these people:
[image id: two columns of headlines. The first column is titled ‘how it started’ and has a headline that says that the Teamsters’ Union, which has traditionally supported Democrats, is supporting Trump. The second column is titled ‘how it’s going’ and contains three headlines about Teamsters losing their jobs due to Trump’s policies. end id.]
Do the Teamsters now feel empathy for all the federal employees who lost their jobs last year? Or do they believe that Trump should have personally made sure to protect their jobs, but they’re still glad that Trump fired all those federal employees?
Or take the MAGA voters who lost a loved one to ICE:
[image id: an Instagram post about a Trump voter who is dismayed that his wife was deported to Venezuela while she was getting her immigration papers in order. He appeals to Trump to help him bring her back home. end id.]
Does this man now believe that everyone deserves due process, respect, and human rights? Or does he still support what ICE is doing to everyone else, but his wife should have been an exception?
Change or Not?
Folks, I don’t know if Trump voter regret is going to spur a national change in values or not. Probably the answer is going to vary. Some will have a change of heart; some will feel personally betrayed but still believe in the values that led them to vote for Trump in the first place. Perhaps the blasphemy Trump is committing will cause Trump voters to re-examine their values, even though personal tragedy and the suffering of others wasn’t enough to cause a deep change. (I’m fine with any reason if it brings Trump voters back to a worldview of respect for human dignity and a commitment to the rule of law.)
So what brings a person to examine their values and change them? As opposed to getting offended, but still holding onto their values? Is it the same in both the LDS context and the MAGA context?
I’m going to say that empathy is a huge factor. Does a hardship guide someone to see how much they have in common with everyone else? MAGA separates society into groups and teaches hatred and suspicion towards certain groups. Could suffering lead some former MAGA to realize that we’re all human beings? And EVERYONE should be treated as human beings? I know that while I was deconstructing my LDS beliefs, realizing that our Church wasn’t special, that it didn’t have all the truth, helped me feel connected to everyone else in the world as I gave up that belief in being extra blessed (superior).
Some harden their hearts during hardships though — their attitude is that other people deserve the hardship, but they didn’t deserve it.
Faithful Through Tribulation
Tucker Carlson has acknowledged some wrongdoing, but he still stands by his lie that the 2020 election was stolen. Perhaps, as he has time to unravel the lies he’s told, he’ll come to admit that lie as well. It was all lies. Everything MAGA said about immigrants, transgender people, gays, abortion, DEI, racial equality, feminism — it was all either an outright lie, or something that might have a kernel of truth was so exaggerated and taken out of context as to become a lie.
It takes time to deconstruct. I know my testimony came apart in chunks over a period of several years. There were some huge leaps while deconstructing, and then smaller things. As MAGA processes the betrayal so many of them are feeling right now, the changes may take time. Some may be angry only about the Iran war right now, but with time, they’ll see that Jan 6 was Trump’s effort to start a civil war.
What causes someone to cling to their values even though it hurt them personally? Church leaders, of every Christian denomination, teach that you must cling to your beliefs in the face of all evidence to the contrary. Believers are blessed if they hold onto their faith through a miserable situation. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped form; the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1. Religious believers are taught that the sunk cost fallacy is a virtue. Never let go of your beliefs. Never. The Book of Mormon is very clear that if you know the truth, and then you turn away because of trials, you’re in serious trouble (2 Nephi 31).
The piousness of MAGA voters would teach them to hold on through the difficulties. But Trump’s attack on the Pope, and that meme of himself as Jesus — that’s not just a trial of faith. Some are suggesting that’s an indicator of the anti-Christ. But thinking Trump is the anti-Christ is still looking at the world through a conservative and religious lens. Their values aren’t changing; they’ve just cast Trump in another role.
Questions:
- Do you know MAGA voters who regret voting for Trump? Are they changing their values? Or just shocked at Trump’s behavior while still believing in the principles of MAGA?
- Do you think empathy plays a role in changing values?
- Do you think Republicans will try to reinvent their political party to support the rule of law again?
- The LDS Church is especially eager to say people leave because they want to sin. If it’s sinful to support gay and trans rights and women’s equality, then yeah, I guess I’m sinning. If certain values are sinful, then is the LDS Church correct that people leave in order to sin?
- Did you ever persevere through a trial of faith? Were you afraid to quit believing because of the scriptures that teach severe penalties for abandoning your faith?
Wheat & Tares 