I watched Conference so you don’t have to. Spotty coverage for some sessions — Conference had to compete with other wholesome family activities this time around. Phrases and sentences in quotation marks are based on my on-the-fly notes and are subject to correction by readers with flawless memories or later published transcripts. My comments in italics, sometimes within brackets [like this].

Saturday Morning

Session theme: Everybody must quote Pres. Nelson at least once.

Pres. Oaks, conducting — Notes that Elder Holland is absent with Covid.

Gary E. Stevenson of the Twelve — A recent letter from the FP — about Easter procedures, not about securities violations and SEC fines. Sacrament meeting only next week so you can go home and do Easter things with the family. [Slogan alert: “Great Plan of Happiness.“]

Bonnie H. Cordon, YW General President — Five years of Pres. Nelson. Testify of Christ.

Carl B. Cook, a Seventy — Don’t be discouraged. Unless you are like clinically depressed, then seek medical help. [Don’t let it get you down, it’s only castles burning, just find someone who’s turning, and you will come around.]

Gerrit W. Gong of the Twelve — Be nice to people. Do more ministering.

Quentin L. Cook of the Twelve — Let’s gather scattered Israel. [This is just a confusing way to talk about missionary work and sometimes throw temple work in with it. It has nothing to do with actual Israel and nothing to do with actual gathering. Why do leaders talk like this?]

Allen D. Haynie, a Seventy — Avoid selective rejection of prophetic counsel. [A message to MAGA Mormons?] Don’t use words of past prophets to dismiss words of current prophet. [This talk ignores the whole point of canonized scripture, which provides a standard against we are supposed to measure so-called divine pronouncements, as well as attempting to marginalize prior LDS FP statements and the like. And if you take this at face value, the message it conveys is that any statement by an LDS President is subject to being revoked or overridden by the next guy, so don’t take it too seriously. No Seventy ought to be making this sort of claim or statement.]

Pres. Eyring — Find personal peace. Satan stirs up hatred and contention. Be a peacemaker.

Saturday Afternoon

Session theme: Repent, repent, repent!

Pres. Eyring, conducting

Pres. Oaks does the sustaining of LDS leaders and officers.

Jared B. Larsen, Managing Director, Church Auditing Department, gives a short non-report of the internal financial statements you are not allowed to see and explanatory notes to the statements that you are also not allowed to see. [In light of recent Ensign Peak revelations and more recently securities violations committed by the Church and fines to the tune of $5 million paid by the Church, the whole “here is a report on our audit” claim is just a bigger joke than usual. The whole charade seems designed to give false assurance to the membership and keep those tithing checks rolling in. Their so-called audit did not pick up pervasive and blatant misstatements that resulted in SEC action and substantial fines. Hold leadership accountable and fire the auditors.]

Dale G. Renlund of the Twelve — … my attention was interrupted for 30 minutes by the arrival of Crown Burger pastrami burgers, which were delicious.

Randall K. Bennett, a Seventy — Lauding patriarchal blessings.

Craig C. Christensen, a Seventy — Seek out those wandering sheep. The joy of repentance.

Evan A. Schmutz, a Seventy — Comments on Nephi’s Doctrine of Christ (see 2 Nephi 31).

Benjamin de Hoyos, a Seventy — Sealed to his wife in the temple.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Twelve — Teach your children well, give them a code of faith, hope, and charity that they can live by. [I really miss the old Elder Uchtdorf.]

At some point I will update this post to add some notes for later sessions.