This week I faced death, not mine, but on somebody else’s face. I was in Hawaii on business, and while I have meetings during the day, I spend the early morning and evening in the water surfing. On Tuesday morning, I went out surfing early (time change and all, I was up at 4:00 am). I was in the water by about 5:30. It was just starting to get light and I did the paddle out to the surf break (Queens in Waikiki for those that know the area). I surfed to about 6:30, then started the long paddle in, about 1/4 mile.
About 100 yards from shore I saw a surfboard just floating in the water. It was just out of my way, but I decided to paddle over to it and drag it to shore. As I came upon the board, I saw a body attached to the surfboard leash, face down underwater. I grabbed the guy by the rash guard around his neck and pulled his face up. I was staring at death. His face was purple and I figured he was already dead. I yelled at another surfer paddling out, and he turned around to get somebody to dial 911.
I pulled him partway on to my surfboard with his face up, and started the paddle to shore. Once I got him to the shore several other people helped me drag him on the sand. A police office then arrived and started CPR. Then everybody arrived, with paramedics using a defibrillator, and then continuing CPR and breathing with the bag. They drove him away while still working on him. I had to fill out a report for the police. Later the news (read report here) said he died at the hospital, and he was 64. I was the “bystander” in the news report. I noticed he had a long scar down the middle of his chest like a open heart surgical scar. My guess is he died from a cardiac event, and the drowning was secondary.
This next week someplace in the world there will be a funeral for this man. While thinking about this, I wondered about my own funeral. I don’t want a typical funeral, and definitely don’t want a Mormon one. I want to be cremated, my ashes scattered in the ocean, with family and a few close friends saying nice (or not so nice) things about me on the beach. Also, I hope to die doing something I love, like this guy did.
What about you, will you have a funeral, and if so what kind? How many of you will be cremated?
Wheat & Tares 
I remember an interview with a guy who was pushing 70 and still ran Badwater every year. In the one they were profiling, medica along the course strongly urged him to drop. He told his wife that he’d rather die through living than live through dying, and got back on the course.
My running joke to the kids is that when I die, they can drain the backyard pool, toss me in there, fill it with dirt and use whatever money I’ve accumulated for something better than an expensive burial and funeral for me.
The state of California has just authorized human composting. Since I’ve been a gardener for a long time and an avid composter for as long as I’ve had the yard to do it in I can’t think of a better “rest” than going directly into the ground and becoming a part of the cycle of birth/growth/death/decay/birth/etc.
I’m older. I feel the effect of every additional day at this point. I’m not sure how much longer I have so I am breathing a sigh of relief and gratitude that this new policy has come in time for me.
Your experience much have been sobering, Bishop Bill.
The costs for a casket, embalming, burial plot etc. are prohibitive where I live. I plan for cremation, and for my ashes to reside next to my husband’s remains in our “condo” in a columbarium at the veteran’s cemetery. I no longer want a Mormon funeral service, as they are treated as “missionary opportunities” or resemble a fast and testimony meeting minus the sacrament.
Pulling a lifeless, waterlogged body is unforgettable. Here in Hawaii, ocean death and ocean disappearance is more common than folks might think. One hero named Keoni at Waialua ward paddled out to rescue a visitor at Leftovers a few years back who was getting mauled by a Tiger shark. Keoni paddled right into the zone, pulled the victim on to his board, and headed in. The shark swam beside them all the way to shore, eye contact the whole way. The victim lost a leg but thankfully survived. We’ve pulled guys out at Pipeline on numerous occasions, and there is something about it that unmistakably alters the rest of the day. You don’t get closure until the next day, when survival or death is confirmed. The details stick—leashes tangle, boards collide, current drags the body the wrong way. It sits with you. Something about death and water taps primordial consciousness. Every session forward is marked by it. Something about your experience makes me think his spirit wanted his body retrieved and something about you was sensitive enough to check on that lonely board sitting in the water.
Since an “inspired” patriarch already stated I would transform in the twinkling of an eye and be raised on the morning of the first resurrection, I do not need to worry.
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° )
Though I’m just a “damned Mormon” (as some of my former neighbors would call me), there’s an old graveyard that’s run by a Primitive Baptist Church where my ancestors have been buried for hundreds of years. I would love to join them there. There’s also countless family plots scattered across the South that are tucked away in forgotten forests, so I could also follow their example by buying a random plot of land and letting it grow around me when I’m buried. That way, my burial location is known only to my immediate family, nature, and God.
Growing up in the South, my standard LDS meetinghouse definitely felt out of place since it didn’t have an adjacent graveyard like other humble country churches. That’s one thing I wish we had. But then again, knowing how petty members can be over small things, it’s probably for the best.
Translation. No burial or funeral necessary.
I’m with Ethan – go as cheap as possible. Funerals are important for the living, and respect for the dead is necessary for a civilization. But modernday US funerals are an exercise in pulling as much money out of people as possible. Caskets are thousands of dollars. Burial plots and headstones are expensive. Cremation is only slightly less expensive. It’s not like you can buy any of this stuff on sale or shop around.
It’s like weddings. It’s possible to have something meaningful without spending lavishly, except society will shame you for being cheap on such an important occasion.
I like the idea of human composting that alice mentioned. I’ve also heard recently about using cremation to generate electricity, or something like that (I didn’t pay much attention to it).
I don’t want my death to burden my family financially or add to the world’s burden either. Do something cheap and eco-friendly, while also saying nice things about me and having a respectful and special opportunity to grieve and seek closure.
Without revealing too many details, about a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. It was definitely a time of reflection on my own mortality. A year of treatments, and things are looking very promising. I should go into remission and have many years (maybe decades) ahead of me. But, in the early days of the diagnosis before the extent was known, I allowed myself to think about “what if…”
With my wife and kids having left the church, I thought quite a bit about what a funeral might look like. A traditional LDS funeral always seemed to be expected, but now I’m not so sure. I like some of the traditions, but some of the traditions seem stifling for some of my family who might prefer a less religiously themed service. We are a rather musical family, but the church has long had musical traditions that might prevent some of the best of my family’s musical talent from participating. Considering the variety of religious views among the mourners (and I think the funeral ought to be more about the mourners than the mourned), it would be nice to have a service that could speak to all (or different ones in turn), but a traditional LDS funeral may not allow those ideas to surface. When I have considered all that I think would be helpful for those I leave behind (both in and out of the church), I think a service held outside of the church (without various handbook and traditional restrictions) will be best. Something where I think it would be appropriate for my bishop to share a few remarks, and also have some celebratory musical numbers, and some thoughts from non-believing friends/relatives, and so on. It’s looking like my funeral is still out in the distance, so who knows what will happen over the next years and decades. For a time, though, I was considering the possibility of something more imminent.
My mother died recently. She was 102 yrs old. We buried her according to her wishes. Closed casket, no face painting or embalming. She was buried next to my father. The funeral was family and friends. Graveside, with attendees giving remembrances of mom. The only thing Mormon was the grave dedication. Even with a very simple funeral, it was unnecessarily expensive.
I try to spend 2 months a year in Africa. I can buy a simple casket there for less than $200. I’m thinking I should die in Africa.
There’s a huge part of me that would love nothing more than to be wrapped in a sheet and thrown in the ground without anybody saying anything. And yet, despite knowing even many members who don’t enjoy funerals, they’re one of my favorite meetings.
Just over a week ago I attended the funeral of my cub scout / primary leader. She was a remarkable woman. I think the strongest I feel the Holy Ghost reverberate through my soul in testifying of the Plan is during funerals, and not even just during the token Plan of Salvation talk. It’s as if Heavenly Father opens a door in the Chapel ceiling and says “Those flannel board discussions you got as a sunbeam? Yeah, all true.” I get that it’s not that way for everyone, but I almost inevitably end up feeling closer to the Savior once these meetings are over, and I’ll embrace anything that does that.
Contrary to popular belief here, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, I’m genuinely pretty friendly and sincere. I have had numerous people that I considered “good acquaintances” introduce me as a best friend to others, much to my surprise. Should I go sooner, rather than later, I imagine there will be a modestly sized group of people from all walks of life showing up to pay their respects. If just one of them ends up feeling the same way I do at funerals, I imagine it would be worth the effort.
And you can go relatively cheap. I was recently surprised to learn that Costco sells coffins. Maybe they’d throw in one of those assorted snack mixes for free if I got one. Heck, with an air tight container, I might have a snack all ready to go for me once I’m resurrected.
This touches a nerve in me, but I’ve made a comfortable peace with it. One of the few hard, universal truths we know is that all of us will die, and its corollary, none of us have any experiential knowledge whatsoever of what happens next. I believe this is a critical component to whatever design there is for our period of life here, but I’m not wise or knowledgeable enough to articulate about it further. Although I could certainly offer my best speculative opinion, but I’ll spare y’all that.
I’ve been a planner or a close observer of 3 recent family funerals and numerous others in the past few years. Funerals are definitely for those left behind as much as they’re about the deceased. I feel respect for my close family members still holding to that rod, and would love to give them the comfort of the familiar LDS RS room/chapel funeral, but my immediate family would find it painful to pull that together. In fact, they’d likely find putting anything together beyond their skill set. So I’m going to fill out the funeral wishes page in that dusty family preparedness binder I received in 5th Sunday ages ago, to aid them in their time of crisis. (Soon, right?)
I favor cremation over embalming because I think it’s less invasive and so much cheaper, and interment can be somewhat simpler. I’m fine with having my ashes scattered or buried in a non-purchased and unmarked spot, and the folks who will execute this can choose the area according to their needs and wishes. I’m fine with a memorial service outside of a chapel, even in a funeral home if that works. I want to leave some notes for any obituary or eulogy someone will have to write up. (Soon, right? But not too soon.) and I’m picky about the music, so I’ll have to leave my instructions for that.
I swear I’m not a control freak. In fact, I’m somewhat of a compliance freak, like any properly bred Mormon woman. That’s exactly why I want to have my wishes honored in the last event of my life.
As a side note, I’ve been watching the Queen’s funeral ceremonies replayed on YouTube the last few days. It’s long! It’s taking me a while to get through it, and it’s surprisingly fascinating to me. It has commentators narrating the proceedings, who claim it was simple and understated. (Maybe for the Queen of England, I suppose.) And as I watch, I can see that she clearly had an extensive hand in planning the events, and it’s a blessing to her family and her nation that she did. But what a parade of diamonds and pearls, and symbolism in full dress uniform.
I’ve decided I want some Scottish pipers at my own memorial somehow.
Bishop Bill, thank you for responding and helping this man.
The “best” Mormon funeral I ever attended was years ago for a ward member who was the mother of a high school classmate. As the eulogy was read, a person off to the side read excerpts from her diaries. For example, we learned her thoughts about the birth of each child, and after her first date with her husband. It was very moving. Definitely pre-Packer.
My parents are never-Mormon. My Dad had my mother cremated, and the ashes sit on my bookshelf, along with my brother’s boyfriend’s ashes, and the ashes of my brother’s dog. My dad is 92, and has prepaid his cremation. When my brother died, my dad had him cremated, and his ashes were put in the Pacific Ocean. I suppose someday I will need to decide what to do with my ashes collection.
I plan on cremation, but have not yet prepaid. Not having set foot in a Mormon church for 20 plus years, I am not anticipating a funeral of any kind.
I recall visiting Arlington National Cemetery and visiting the elaborate grave of JFK. A short distance from that spot was a simple white cross over his brother Robert’s Kennedy’s grave. What a difference but not for the occupants of such abode.
I’ve come to the conclusion that like Jesus said, death as we know it is simply a sleep. Then I awake at the second coming and my thoughts pick up where they left off. Not exactly Church doctrine I know.
While I find visiting an old cemetery fascinating for historical purposes, cremation it shall be upon my demise. I’d rather have my family not incur all the debt.
I decided a few years ago that I wanted to cremated. I want my ashes pressed into a diamond for my wife. They say that the color will depend on the chemical makeup of my body. Since I’ve always thought of myself as the black sheep of my family, I figure it will be a black diamond. 🤣 No funeral, but maybe a celebration of life. People visiting and eating. Sharing stories at the appropriate time. No big fanfare, just a simple celebration. Absolutely nothing Mormon.
Cremation for me. I haven’t decided what I want done with my ashes – cemetery, spread somewhere, on the mantle? I’m not really worried about it, as it won’t be my problem and I don’t really care what they do with them. I don’t want a Mormon funeral, but a casual friends and family gathering in my honor would make me happy. It would be an opportunity to share memories and help provide closure for those still here. Mormon holidays (Easter and Christmas) and Mormon funerals are awful in my experience. How a church that claims to be the one true church can do such major spiritual events so poorly is mind blowing.
Thanks for a sobering story and good post. I despise the fact that the Mormon Church makes funerals into some sort of bizarre missionary event. As if we shouldn’t be honoring someone’s life but instead should be trying to increase our numbers. I cannot wrap my head around that kind of disrespect for a life, especially when we supposedly consider each life sacred.
As far as my own funeral, I don’t want to be cremated. Maybe I’ve read Act 5 of Hamlet too many times, but I kind of like the idea of slowly decaying and becoming one with the earth. I’ve always wanted to be buried in the Manti-La Sal National Forest in Utah. Since burials in national forests aren’t permitted, I’d love it if some of my students would try to honor my request and steal my body to bury it up there anyway, a la Gram Parsons’ friends stealing his body from LAX and bringing it out to Joshua Tree for a half-assed cremation. Honestly, though, since I don’t have many friends, I’d like my children and my students to plan my funeral in consultation with my wife. Maybe people could just get up and share a memory or two if they wished or tell a funny story about me. The only requests I’d make would be the music. The two songs that must be played at some point in the ceremony would be Susan Tedeschi’s version of “Angel from Montgomery” and Queen’s “Somebody to Love”, preferably the live Montreal version from ’81.
And I definitely hope to die doing something I love. I have no fear of death, but I have a terrible fear of getting old and decrepit. I would rather be a healthy, active 70 year old who drowns while flyfising on the San Juan River than an 80 year old who dies in bed after a decade or more of gradual, painful physical and mental decline.
I want my funeral to be whatever will bring comfort to my family. (Notice I’m assuming that they will be sad at my death. LOL)
That said, I have let our daughters know about some preferences. My husband prefers burial, I lean toward cremation. Maybe just stick my ashes in a hole in the ground above his casket? I told them I’d like it if they could make whatever they do more about laughter at good memories than about tears. And music… I want lots of music, most of it from musicals. One More Angel in Heaven from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The Woman’s Dead from Curtains. Fairly inappropriate from a Church perspective, but that’s not my problem. I’ll be dead.
I’m the only active member in my family. I absolutely do not want my funeral or memorial or whatever to be a missionary opportunity. They know and respect my values and choices. I also know and respect theirs.
Count me as one who wants to go out doing something I love instead of dying by inches over several years. I plan to stay active and involved as long as I can. I also plan to begin declining medical interventions at some point before I’m actually dying.
For music, I want “Always Look on The Bright Side of Life” from the Life of Brian. I understand it is the number one requested song for British funerals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M
I don’t personally really have any desire for a Mormon funeral because they are supposed to mainly be religious services focused on The Plan instead of an opportunity for friends and family to gain closure by remembering the deceased person one last time (I think there is room for religion in a funeral service, even mine, but it shouldn’t be forced on people–the family should decide the content). I have family that I believe will really want an LDS service, though, and since funerals are really for the living, I’ll probably have to do that. If there is a viewing, I’d also really prefer not to be dressed in temple clothes because the temple endowment is something that I have very little faith in (I basically feel like it’s JS’s fan fiction based on the Masonic ceremony, and I haven’t been able to find any value in it for myself even though I’ve tried pretty hard). I’ll probably go ahead and have the temple clothing on for the viewing, though, for family reasons.
Cremation sounds like a good option to me–although alice’s composting idea is intriguing. I still remember the look on my two very conservative LDS aunt’s faces when my more open-minded uncle (their brother) told them that he was planning on being cremated. I remember having seminary lessons on why cremation was bad. (Ah, seminary–the Church’s best tool for indoctrinating kids with false doctrine and folk religion–I’m still recovering decades later.) It all goes back to the idea that bodies are sacred and there is going to be a literal resurrection, so how do expect God to put your body together again if you burn it up (as if a body sitting in a casket for centuries is going to be any easier to resurrect)? The 1980 Priesthood Bulletin read, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints counsels its members to bury their dead in the earth to return dust to dust, unless the law of the country requires cremation. However, the decision whether to bury or cremate the body is left to the family of the deceased, taking into account any laws governing the matter.” As recently as 2020, the Church Handbook read, “38.7.2 The Church does not normally encourage cremation. The family of the deceased must decide whether the body should be cremated…”. Apparently, there has recently been a change, though, as it now reads, “38.7.2 The family of the deceased person decides whether his or her body should be buried or cremated. They respect the desires of the individual…” The Church sure takes a long time to retire its folk religion, but it looks like it is finally giving up on the idea that a burial is preferable to cremation to make the resurrection easier.
If I have to have an LDS funeral to satisfy my extended family, then I’d also like to be able to have a separate gathering for my closest family and friends. I checked the Handbook, and it says that this is actually allowed (I was a little surprised that it’s allowed. I thought the Church might make you choose one or the other.) I have some really close relationships with a small group of family (including my children) and friends, and the LDS funeral just isn’t going to cut it. I think I’d like it to be very casual, preferably outdoors if the weather is good. I’d probably want a playlist of my favorite, mostly pop/rock songs to play in the background (“One Tree Hill” by U2 is definitely going to be in the playlist). My children will recognize most of the songs since I always sang along, much to their chagrin, to my favorite songs while I drove them around in the car while they were growing up. There will be a number of nonmembers there, so I would definitely serve alcohol (although I have no idea how to do that–I might need to ask one of them to help arrange this) both for their benefit and to keep away anyone who might try to attend this gathering but can’t handle the idea of alcohol being served at a Mormon’s funeral. I’d like everyone present to be able to say whatever it is they need to say about me–the good, the bad, and the ugly–to get whatever closure they need, and then I’d like everyone to just leave with their memories and move on with their lives afterwards.
My mom’s side of my family has a substantial portion of the Lehi cemetery set apart for our posterity. There’s something comforting to me thinking of going to my final rest with them all (even if it means my final slumber is in Utah, where it’s cold). That being said, I think I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread at the family cabin. It is my happy place. This makes my mother very unhappy so I don’t discuss my future death much as a result (she’s anti-cremation because of the handbook; whatever). But my wife knows which is what matters.
My wife’s family are nondenominational Christian. Their funerals are the best. It’s overseen by their local pastor but it’s somewhat of an open mic with stories about the deceased. We laugh, we cry, and it’s so cathartic. That’s what I want.
What I don’t want is what happened at my dad’s funeral. The stake completely took the event from us cuz authority. I’m still angry about it and probably always will be, though again I have to be careful what I say because my mom (who I think deep down was also unhappy) won’t have me speak ill of her stake president.
I really loathe the doublespeak about Mormon funerals. We are told we need to focus on the the plan and missionary work. But watch the next time an apostle dies. They don’t do this. They tell stories about the apostle. Funerals for thee, but missionary discussions for me. No thanks.
A second comment. A few weeks ago I went to a funeral for a former coworker who died of ALS. It was held at a Orthodox Church in America (not Greek or Russian) convent where the nuns had made his coffin. The service was long by Mormon standards (9 to 12:30) and seemed to repeat readings, scriptures, and prayers multiple times. Not a criticism, just that Orthodox practice was all new to me.
Years ago I went to a Catholic service for an in law who had committed suicide. The priest, who was very old and very Irish, began saying that we all knew that he was going to hell, but the family had paid got the funeral, so let’s get started. Literally. I was horrified.
Suicide: I recall a Bible story where the protagonist had few if any redeeming qualities
and commuted suicide. Yet, he is listed as an example in the faith chapter of Hebrews. Sampson.
Six years ago in May my sister, who was two years younger than me and had been my BFF and greatest confidant throughout my life, suddenly died from a stroke caused by a traumatic brain injury that she’d sustained five months before. When I got the news I was completely gutted. Words cannot begin to express my profound grief. My brothers were also in shock and our mom was inconsolable. Ditto for my sis’s husband and son. Because she’d dealt with so many serious mental and physical health issues during her life she’d often talked about the possibility of dying at a younger age than my brothers and me. In fact, she’d put her wishes in writing and hoped that her husband would follow them. He didn’t. As he comes from what my brothers and I refer to as “church royalty” (you know what I mean) I suppose that he felt the need to have a bang up, cast of thousands style Mormon funeral.
Without going into detail let me just say that it was the single worst funeral that I have ever attended. It was the granddaddy of the Boyd K Packer type funeral. Our former French foreign exchange sister, who is like another sister to all of us and who is the same age as my sister, flew here from her home in Southern France to mourn with our family. After the three hour funeral service, an hour trip to and then from the cemetery and then eating the meal that the ladies in my sis’s ward had prepared for family and close friends my husband, younger son and I drove our French sister back to her hotel. Before she got out of the car she asked us what we’d thought of the funeral and had we felt God’s love and His comfort at this incredibly painful time? (She is a practicing Christian.) sadly, all three of us told her that it had been the very worst possible way to remember my amazing, vibrant sister and that, no, we had not felt any kind of comfort during it or the grave dedication service. In fact, we all strongly felt that her spirit had been there screaming a big, loud and emphatic “NO!!!!!!!!!!!!” from on high, and we all had wanted to scream “NO!”out loud too. So much for “preaching the gospel” and making “a good impression” of those not of our faith.
A couple of days later I had a long conference call with my brothers to talk about that horrible day. It was reassuring to know that even my TBM brother, who’d conducted over 70 funerals during the time that he’d been a bishop, said that he also refused to have a “Mormon” funeral. In fact, none of the members of my family want one.
As a professional musician I have played for many funerals and have experienced the gamut of funerals from my sister’s truly awful funeral to the kind that celebrated lives well spent and that included laughs and many happy/funny reminiscences of the deceased. I’ve told my two sons that I want to have a party where friends and family can celebrate my graduation from mortality.
When I was in college I was in a serious car accident during a bad winter storm and went partway through the windshield of my friend’s car when it struck a tree before the dead tree split in half (after it had skidded halfway across a farmer’s field) and half of it fell down on me pinning me into position until the EMTs came, used the jaws of life to get me out and then pronounced me dead. During that time I had a very sacred experience that I rarely share with others. At the tiny hospital in the middle of nowhere at the end of my spiritual experience “on the other side” I was told that it wasn’t my time to die because there was much more for me to do and experience. Then I resurrected, in the truest sense of that word, there in that ER where the head doctor was just signing his last name on my death certificate. Were my friends, the medical staff and EMTs ever surprised!
As a result of this experience I am not afraid to die. Besides having a happy reunion on the other side (I’m positive that God loves happy reunion parties there after my experience) the idea of a “happy graduation” party/send off makes me so happy. My boys already have a list of the tunes that I want played-most especially Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit In the Sky” and “Jesus Is Just Alright With Me” by the Doobie Brothers. I’m donating my body to medical science in the hope that perhaps they’ll be able to move closer to curing the unusual and very aggressive form of osteoarthritis that runs on both sides of my family and the spinal abnormalities that my sibs and I have inherited from my dad’s side. When I’ve served my purpose for scientific research my body will be cremated and returned to my family. I haven’t decided whether I want my ashes to be put in a columbarium where family and friends can visit if they wish or given to my sons to have as a permanent reminder that I’m still with them and love them, albeit I will be in a different form.
My wife and I are solidly middle aged these days. We don’t expect to go any time soon, but it is possible that at this point we already have more days behind us than ahead of us. At the moment, she’s firmly in the cremation camp. I’m undecided; but I’ve at least been very clear that the cheapest wooden box will do. And please don’t pay extra for a nice pillow – I won’t need it.
I grew up in a cemetery-visiting family. Some nearby that we’d visit on memorial day or birthdays, others that we’d track down on family vacations. Recently we were on a family vacation 4 states away and we had a little bit of spare time, so we took the 30 minute detour to go see my great-grandmother’s grave which I can walk to within a few dozen feet. I’m fine with being cremated, but there’s a part of me that wants a permanent final resting place for someone to go and visit. Some sort of permanent marker (yes, I know they’re not permanent) that remembers that DaveW existed. I don’t know what sort of discount I can get at a cemetery on a single half-sized plot for my wife and I where they can lay a headstone on the ground, but won’t ever have to dig a hole more than 8 inches deep.
As for a funeral, I can’t imagine anyone who attends it will need to hear a plan of salvation talk from my bishop (who they’ve never met and will never see again). Should my wife go before me, I intend to plan a funeral for her that she would want and present it to the bishop. If he isn’t going to allow it in the chapel, we’ll find somewhere else to do it. I suspect that a lot of bishops wouldn’t be disappointed at being told that they don’t get to give the plan of salvation talk.
I want to be cremated or a compost burial – I think a new burial area that facilitates this has recently arrived in our area. I’d go for whatever is cheapest but understand no disposal of bodies is inexpensive these days. I’m pretty sure my family know this and I and I don’t want to be buried in temple garb either. There was a recent funeral for someone who died rather unexpectedly. Both her and her husband hadn’t been active for a long while but during his grief her family convinced the husband to bury her in temple clothes whereas people who knew her best as a gal that loved pink and bling and felt she would have wanted to go out that way too. The SP also felt ‘inspired’ to get up and say something at the end and got her name wrong!
My husband and I are getting old – this is another reminder that we need to get our wishes down in writing. I think the best funerals that I’ve attended have been the sharing of stories – the funnier the better. Definitely don’t want a long winded gospel message.
My sympathies to @ A Poor Wayfaring Stranger