I didn’t post last week, partly because end of school year insanity and partly because I just didn’t know what to say in the wake of the Uvalde shootings.
The shootings hit me hard. I think they should hit everyone hard. Many reasons for that, but one is that two of my kids are basically exactly the age of those killed and another is that my kids are old enough now to read about this in the news. And they did, and they told me about the girl who survived by covering herself in her friend’s blood, and they told me about how the active shooter drills they do in school would be useless against this shooter. And they are right.
I was traveling and wasn’t in church Sunday, but I would be shocked – truly shocked – if the shootings were mentioned in my ward. I haven’t heard any accounts of it being mentioned in any LDS ward at all (but please comment if you have an example!).
So I was feeling pretty envious of Meg Conley’s description of a service she went to that expressly addressed the shooting with a special litany and a sermon addressing them:
I must admit, though, if I had been in Church on Sunday I would have been skittish about bringing this up. Why? Because I’d be concerned that it would get really political really fast, and because I would worry about spiritual bypassing.
What do you think?
- Did anyone in your congregation mention the Uvalde shooting in Church on Sunday? If so, what was said / discussed?
- Do you think we shy away from hard topics in Church meetings? If so, why?
- Do you think discussing the shootings in an LDS church would be perceived as overly political? Why or why not? What would be the best way to address without politicizing? Or should we accept / embrace that it is political?
- What kinds of spiritual bypassing do you see in Church about hard events like this (or the war in Ukraine)? Do you see this as something that gets in the way of our ability to mourn with those that mourn?
Wheat & Tares 
I also didn’t attend Church last Sunday, and I also would be shocked if it was mentioned.
It blows my mind that we cannot talk about taking care of our planet, public health, or school shootings, for fear of upsetting someone’s political ideology. These items are only political if you choose to make them political. They are not inherently political topics.
In my mind the only topic that is actually political is how governments tax and how governments spend. The rest is only political because the parties take sides like it’s a high school debate tournament to be won. But school shootings are no game. They are devastating, and they demand course correction to ensure it never happens again. Unfortunately, our lawmakers don’t seem to see it that way, which is very very sad.
As I said in my comment on the last post, I don’t really believe in a God that cares how much time I spend in a church building listening to a sermon. I believe in a God that wants me to take my core beliefs and put them to action. I don’t do this as much as I should. But I think the concept of Mormon church attendance and Mormon tithing sometimes gets in the way of our tribe enacting real change.
We didn’t go the last two weeks but the week after the buffalo shooting there was zero mention even in prayers in our buffalo area ward.
Our ward is politically conservative but has some more liberal members. The stake I know had a lot of pushback on masks and vaccines. These were seen as political so I’m sure that anything more than acknowledging evil and mourning is considered political. (Some ward members had posted memes in the past of militia Jesus, so guessing they are big second amendment fans.)
I think the number 1 thing we can do is to learn how to have difficult conversations and disagree instead of having church be a place where everyone should agree. There is plenty of work we could do as a community if we would confront issues instead of confusing disagreement or cognitive dissonance with contention. We are not accustomed to having to encounter discomfort unless you are in a marginalized group or on the margins.
Attended this Sunday, no direct mention, although obliquely referenced in closing prayer asking to bless those who are suffering. The fifth Sunday second hour topic was about forgiveness, and even with this topic, it wasn’t brought up. I managed to get a comment in at the very end about spiritual bypassing, but the overall message is that we’re required to forgive everyone.
P.S. I think we’re so afraid of contention, we haven’t learned to debate or disagree in a meaningful way.
I think it’s time for a national monument to all the victims of mass shootings. There have been so many I know I’ve forgotten many of the events and probably never knew much about the individual victims. I suspect I’m not unique in this respect.
It’s ugly. It’s not like the valor we wrap war veterans in but these kids and teens and adults and elderly are important to remember even if they never got the opportunity to be valorous. Many of them never had the opportunity to do much of anything that wasn’t ordinary. They were too young for much more than ordinary. And they were killed living their ordinary lives. That’s worth remembering! And remembering! …until we heal the division and desperation and fear and hatred that having guns and outlawing guns won’t resolve.
Whether they were uniformed or not, they were the victims of the war this country is engaged in with one another. So a large national monument with each of their names grouped by the event that took their lives. With, I’m sorry to say, lots of room to add more.
I participated (via YouTube link) in a moving and thoughtful service from the Edmonds Universalist Unitarian Church (Seattle WA) that thoroughly examined the issue. How great it would be if we could hear such discussions/messages in the LDS Sacrament Meetings or in GC talks. Here is the link in case you are interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCjLk7m38Wk
I didn’t hear any mention of the shootings at church. I don’t see it as political to bring up the shootings and express sympathy with the victims and their grieving loved ones. Now talk of gun control or how we shouldn’t have it is getting more political.
People used to bring up hard issues at church. It used to be perceived that church members were generally in agreement on doctrinal and even political matters (albeit with maybe some ever so slight disagreements) and that church leaders’ words could effectively put an end to debates. Now it has become increasingly apparent that your fellow attendees in the pews are in disagreement on a number of issues and that these disagreements can be quite stark. It could be that if someone you’ve been friends with catches wind of some view you have they will back away from you. I can’t say I’m not at fault in that regard. If I find out that someone is Qanon, I’m pretty much done with them. One of my neighbors, who seemed like a very nice guy and invited me over for his ward’s Elder’s Quorum barbecue once, had a Trump sign in his window for two weeks after the 2020 election was already over. I’ve had difficulty carrying on a warm relationship with him since.
@Hoosierflyman
Let’s take a moment to honor the SACRIFICE of our brave schoolchildren who lay down their lives to protect our right to bear arms.
I don’t know how it has come to this. How is not protection of children foremost in our priorities.
LHCA: It feels worse than that. We’ve actually learned to avoid honestly sharing our opinions on most topics as a result of this anti-contention culture. Having said that, I’ve heard plenty of veiled swipes at LGBT people, so apparently we are capable of some types of contention.
MormonLand did an episode on gun violence that was interesting, but the entire episode the question I kept wanting to hear them discuss was what percentage of our congregations are carrying at church. I guarantee you that regardless of actual church policy, that number is not zero. I know of one instance where a conservative ward had assigned one of the young men to bring a firearm to church weekly “just in case” a shooter showed up. (This was several years ago) He was deputized by the bishop to shoot the shooter. Jesus said “Put up your sword,” but apparently we’re “hardening” our churches and between taking the sacrament and listening to talks about Jesus, we are supposed to be ready to kill intruders.
Just Trying-
That’s sooooo powerful and I wish I could upvote it dozens of times!
Just a clarification on my last comment, in 2019 Church policy about carrying a firearm in Church was clarified as “prohibited” whereas before it was considered “inappropriate.” https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/27/us/church-leaders-weapon-policy-change/index.html
I still wonder how many people who normally carry firearms are even aware of this change, and how many follow it. The incident I mentioned above was before this policy change.
Our 5th Sunday combined Priesthood/RS lesson was actually on building safety. A retired police officer and the Bishop showed a video from the church’s security department that went over the “run, hide, fight” protocol and what to do in an active shooter situation. Thankfully, the video emphasized church policy that prohibits concealed weapons in church unless you are an active law enforcement officer and are required to carry for your job. Current law enforcement – not former or retired. Our Bishop also emphasized the importance of abiding by that policy.
Honestly, it was probably good for the ward to go over that stuff. I’m sure there are many people who don’t get that type of training at work or maybe they’re retired, etc.
For me, however, it was difficult. I’m a school teacher and the events in Uvalde really shook me up. Especially the police response. I didn’t sleep much all week and was still having a rough time on Sunday. The security video showed a clip from active shooter police training in Houston and spoke about current protocol for police officers to directly confront the shooter before waiting for back up and before rendering aid to the injured. Gut punch.
At the beginning of every school year, we have staff training on active shooter/lockdowns, the the local police department assures us that they will enter quickly and engage the shooter. What happened in Uvalde is troubling.
I teach at the high school that my kids attend and I’ve had to have discussions with them about “what ifs” in an active shooter situation. “Don’t come find me. Don’t worry about me. I can’t come find you or worry about you. In that moment, my students in the classroom are my children. Your teacher is your mom/dad.” Those are difficult discussions.
Anyway, to get back to the topic at hand, our ward did address this issue, although there wasn’t detailed discussions about Uvalde or Buffalo. But it was definitely on everyone’s minds. There was a sober atmosphere in class.
In one of Australias most unified approaches by state and federal governments, it was ruled that:
Semi-automatic weapons would be banned in the vast majority of cases
Gun sales had to be registered in a national database and could only be sold via licenced dealers
Gun licenses could only be issued to people over 18,
all new applicants had to do a safety training course and permits had a 28-day waiting periods
Domestic violence offenders would be banned from holding a gun licence for at least five years”
Self-defence” was no longer a valid standalone reason to buy a gun
Anyone who owned prohibited weapons after the laws changed had 12 months to surrender them for compensation,
and licensed owners had to adhere to strict storage requirements.
This was in 1996. And was vehemently opposed by gun advocates. Since then 2 people killed in 2014, and 6 in 2019.
That America does not have the strength/combined common sense to fix this problem is a national shame.
Part of the problem is that someone had convinced the government that a simple majority is not enough to pass legislation. It is in every other democracy.
Do you think we shy away from hard topics in Church meetings? If so, why?
We avoid hard topics and the dreaded “contention” at all costs. The handbook does much to reinforce the notion that any controversial topic is off limits.
Why? I’ll put forth three guesses: (1) Dealing with competing ideas or viewpoints may seem to deny “one truth.” If you are dialed into the one truth, what is there to disagree about?
(2) The church as an institution and local leaders don’t want to have to deal with hard questions, so if we can create a culture that doesn’t question or explore or confront we avoid a lot of headaches. Besides, all those messy topics causes people’s faith to wobble. We have to remember despite being pioneer tough, we act and behave like we are spiritually fragile. I think that’s a plausible answer to the question ‘why?”
And (3) I think another reason we avoid debating hard topics in church is that doing so productively requires skill, and the church has no interest in promoting, teaching or rewarding this skillset. Think of engaging in the Socratic method. In order for it to produce as designed, interlocuters need to have some idea of the ground rules that lead to productive exchanges about competing ideas. When you have a culture that is built on unquestioning obedience and accepting universal imperatives, you tend to condition your members to be more obdurate.
There is some hope, however. President Uchtdorf–damn, sorry–Elder Uchtdorf gave what I thought were some incredible thoughts on this topic last August during his address at Education Week. He said that we are reluctant to address sensitive topics because we fear contention. True. But he went on to say, “Conflict is inevitable. Contention, however, is a choice.” And then he proceeds to outline what I would characterize as some core principles for building the skills to engaged in healthy conflict. I thought his talk was stunning, but then again his ability to address topics with real honesty is singular. (Sadly, being kicked out of the first presidency seems to have muted his influence.) Read the address he gave and cite him in your classes when you want to challenge an idea or tackle a sensitive issue. I have and it helps to legitimize and redefine discussions around sensitive issues where there is disagreement as being healthy instead being “of-the-devil.” It will tamp down the kneejerk response to dismiss discussing sensitive issues–like gun violence in America–as being categorically contentious.
I think Church is precisely the right place for discussing troubling issues and tragic events like the Uvalde shooting. It directly relates to our understanding of Christian discipleship, our professed ability to mourn with those who mourn, and our conception of an omnipotent, benevolent God who helps us find our car keys but fails to intervene to stop such horror. The whole point of going to church every week is to better understand the intersection of spirituality and real life, messy as it is. We need to be able to wrestle with this as a community or nothing will change.
I talked about this once with my mom, a baby boomer who is very representative of her generation, about why nobody brings up these obvious difficult events in Church anymore: “I hear about awful things in the news all the time, but I go to church to escape from it, to put the cares of the world aside for a few hours. I don’t need to hear about that stuff at church.” I imagine this point of view is shared by a large number of Church members, especially those of older generations who want their church experience to be comfortable and faith-affirming rather than actually learning things and improving themselves and their communities. I can understand the desire to make church a place of refuge, but not to the point of burying your head in the sand and pretending that bad things don’t happen. So we end up with a core active membership of comfortable conservatives, who might shed a tear at the senseless loss of life, but who still believe the 2nd Amendment is sacred and inviolable (the Church still teaches that the U.S. Constitution is an inspired document) and warn against the potential government overreach that gun control represents, and consistently vote accordingly.
Thank you, Elisa, for your fine post.
I guess I am lucky with the Ward I live in. Last Sunday, one of our most respected Ward members, the Ward organist, spoke, and he denounced the Uvalde shootings as senseless and evil. He tied senseless tragedies like Uvalde to hymn 124, Where Can I Turn For Peace? His message was that God can be a comfort in times of evil, especially when people’s actions dismay us.
People thanked him for his remarks.
On a lighter note, my car in Red Utah now displays a “Pro America, Anti Trump” bumper sticker. I can’t wait to drive to Church. Maybe some of my Ward’s
alt-right members will need CPR……
Childish of me, no doubt, but I have embarked on a campaign to let the crazies in the Church know that there ARE people in the Church who think normally.
Thanks again, Elisa:
It is hard to have so much heartbreak over and over again in so many places.
@Taiwan Missionary
Your being open about your progressive viewpoint also provides solidarity for other progressives in your congregation. Some feel as if they are the only one.
Or for people who are still figuring things out.
I hadn’t heard term spiritual bypassing before. A young adult woman at my work described to me the student who smeared her deceased friend’s blood on herself to feign death. She said, “Maybe Jesus will return soon”. I answered, “He didn’t come during the Holocaust, I think until that happens, we need to come up with solutions ourselves”. She agreed.
I’m still processing how a former Jewish refugee who fled Germany when he was 15 in 1938 could seriously suggest that Ukraine cede part of its eastern territory to Russia.
Lisa L:
Thanks for your kind words, but I am politically not a progressive. I will, though, vote for a progressive over a MAGA Trumpist.
On a Church level, I call myself a believer with questions, one who feels we should discuss issues. That of course gives many Church members a bad case of the hives, but too bad. I do not like echo chambers. So I support Church progressives who try to unclog hardened brain arteries.
So I am also considering putting an anti Second Amendment bumper sticker on my car (not entirely joking, here) but living in Utah, someone might throw a rock at my car….
Cheers.
Meetings in an LDS Chapel ceased being a forum for active discussion, seeking resolution to thorny problems and actively learning from each other LONG, LONG ago. Every once in a great while, you might get a beautiful musical number – that can provide some uplift – but beyond that, zippo. Generally, LDS meetings are nothing more than pablum personified.
Re: The Second Amendment – With over 300,000,000.00 (million) guns – and growing – in the United States now, does anyone really think that these weapons are going to somehow be confiscated; or that people are going to willingly give them up? (That’s kinda/sorta fairy tale land.) We’d probably best focus our efforts on safety, security and policing at schools – and maybe raising the minimum age for purchasing a rifle to 21…..
@Taiwan Missionary
There’s also much value in helping TBM people find space to be very concerned about President Trump. And to recognize he and his adherents don’t contribute to a healthy America.
🍻 back.
@lhl, I’m not super interested in debating the second amendment here (there are lots of places to do that). But armed guards and bulletproof glass at elementary schools is not an great solution IMO. Not a super nurturing learning environment – especially for BIPOC. So, pass.
Thank you Elisa! I had not heard of the term spiritual bypassing before and I will be exploring it more. I skipped church last week because I wasn’t ready for the typical Sunday lessons in light if the events this past week. I needed something to provide comfort for the ache, something like Meg received.
Thanks everyone for commenting – I was traveling so not able to engage a lot. I hope we can find ways to talk about the hard things at Church. It ought to be the safest place to do so. But also really get the insight @Jack Hughes shared that many people go to Church to feel comfortable.