Mark Twain popularized the phrase “Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics”, which was used to describe the power that numbers can convey, even for weak arguments.
For example, we see the number of about 3% as the death rate from the COVID-19 pandemic. But that statistic assumes we know the number of infected. Right now the denominator for that fraction is the number of confirmed people that tested positive. If it turns out through wider testing that many more people have been exposed, that 3% will drop, maybe as low as 1% or less. I live in a county close to Los Angeles county. We have about 300 cases, while LA county has over 10,000. To give those numbers context, LA County has over 10 million people, while my county is under 1 million. So the rate of infection is .1% in LA County, and .03% in my county. Or, the rate of infection is over three times greater in LA county than in my county.
Which leads me to this headline I recently saw in Utah news: “Utah County sees 75% increase in domestic violence 911 calls during pandemic”. Taken alone it sounds terrible. How does it compare to other states and countries? I googled and found the following: Domestic Violence call are up 18% in Spain, 30% France, 20% in Houston, 18% in Charlotte, and 35% in Cherokee County South Caroline.
So one might think that one of the most Mormon places in the world has some real problems. But again, we don’t have all the data. What is the rate per 100,000 of calls? What if the calls went up from 20 last year in March to 35 this year? That is a 75% increase, but with those low numbers, one could say that the Mormons are doing a really good job of living their religion. Unless we know the number per capital, we really can’t make a judgment. I googled and could not find the answer. But what I did find is historical evidence that Utah has had a higher number than the National average for domestic violence. From that one could guess that the numbers driving the 75% increase are actually large, therefore the increase is indeed very troubling, particularly in light of the very LDS population of Utah county. But, it is just a conjecture as I can’t find the actual numbers.
I started off writing this post to delve into the huge increase in calls in Utah county compared to the rest of the world, but then decided that I could not make a case one way or the other if there is a problem in the LDS culture that makes domestic violence any better or worse that the general population. I’ll save that for the reader with more information than I have available.
Wheat & Tares 
Emily Latella (SNL): “What’s all this I here about violins on television…?”
Chevy Chase: “Emily, that’s violence on television.”
Emily: “Oh, nevermind.”
“I started off writing this post to delve into the huge increase in calls in Utah county compared to the rest of the world, but then decided that I could not make a case one way or the other…”
Bishop Bill: “Oh, nevermind.”
I’ve always assumed that domestic violence exists everywhere but that people reporting domestic violence only exists where there’s someone to report to. Nowadays children report their parents for disciplining them harshly. That counts as a report, even if unsubstantiated. Children now have access to iPhones and it’s very easy for them to report everything to their friends and authorities. So I would say that there’s more opportunities to report domestic violence, and not an actual increase in domestic violence. Also that most domestic violence claims do not result in an arrest or conviction. It would be interesting to see if the arrest and conviction rates have decreased as the number of reports has increased.
I used to work at a domestic violence shelter. Used to, as in over 20 years ago, so my knowledge of the statistics is old. But Utah county was higher than other counties in Utah, and Utah is higher than the national average, so, yes, Utah county has a problem. Utah has hit the dubious honor of highest per capital in the nation. But like you, I don’t have statistics at hand to say exactly how bad.
There are some possible reasons that do have something to do with the high Mormon population (I know, not politically correct to use the term Mormon, but that was what we always called ourselves and I am not ashamed to call myself that) But there are things that contribute to domestic violence that our church encourages. Strong emphasis on gender roles is one thing. Male only priesthood is another. Marrying young, having babies right away, and having as many babies as you can pop out are all factors. When the wife is pregnant is one of the worst times for violence, and consider how many young married families who are expecting are living in Provo compared to the rest of the state/nation.
Other reasons have nothing to do with religion. Utah has a high altitude which is associated with depression, which of course correlates to higher domestic violence. Then there is the high number of students at BYU and UV. The stress of student life, juggling jobs and starting a family Increases the probability of domestic violence. Then just the age of the population and Utah’s population is younger, which statistically has higher rates of both child and spouse abuse.
Although my dad worked while my mom stayed home, they truly had an equal partnership. My dad helped around the house where he could and in whatever capacity. It’s an example I’ve tried to follow with mixed success. Only twice, to my knowledge, did he ever raise his voice at her but it was never because of her, but because of the highly stressful situation he was in. He never laid a hand on her. Both my grandpas were a little more rigid in their view of gender roles, but never got anywhere close to anything resembling domestic violence.
So as a teenager, and more so as an adult, I was amazed, flabbergasted, and disappointed to find that domestic violence does indeed exist among members of the Church. Because of my own experience, I refuse to believe it’s inherent to the culture, but it’s there all the same. It’s hit closer to home with friends and neighbors. I have to ask why. I think one aspect is a huge misunderstanding of the meaning of “help-meet.” My understanding is the most accurate Hebrew translation of that phrase actually means “equal partner,” but I can understand why many Latter-Day Saints might interpret it otherwise. LDS men can do better. I’d like to think that if any LDS man who is at least striving to have truth in his life would spend at least ten to fifteen minutes pondering the partnership he has with his wife, he’d come to know through the Spirit it truly is an equal partnership. Maybe I’m too optimistic in this area.
I doubt domestic violence rates in Utah are much higher than the nation. At the same time, I can understand why they go up. Satan spent decades going after the Book of Mormon with mixed success. In the last few decades, it feels like he’s turned all his resources toward the family. Men are easy targets, but no one is immune. Hopefully more men and families will wake up. I have one friend who has, for the most part, woken up and broken the cycle seen in his family, so I know it’s possible. We need to see it more often.
Two quick extra thoughts to consider regarding the Utah situation:
Although absolutely no excuse whatsoever for domestic violence, I wonder if many Utah families having only one income is bringing out the worst in men who have recently lost their jobs in this state vs. many families outside Utah who are more likely to have a least one income still. Again, not an excuse, but a thought.
In some of the very worst domestic violence cases over the years that made the news or some of the worst ones I knew of personally here in Utah, the couple were not members of the Church or had become inactive long before domestic violence became part of their life.
BB, I’d be interested to know what your conjecture is as you get more information.
It seems many make the jump from comparing numbers/per capita of domestic violence calls to comparing rates of domestic violence. I wonder about the extent, if any, of differences in rates of reporting/making calls — or if there is even any way of estimating the effect of any differences in reporting rates on the question of possible differences in rates of domestic violence.
I appreciate the abundance of caution with which most are approaching these statistics. More data incrementally leads to better understanding.
I do have a problem with an inference Eli seems to be making that the worst domestic violence in Utah comes from non-Mormon and inactive Mormon populations. Using 2019 world population estimates and church membership numbers that were published last week, Mormons are about 0.21% of the world population. With active members at around 30%, that means that the non-member and inactive/former member population of the world is 99.94%. There should be no surprise to any of us that “some of the very worst domestic violence cases over the years that made the news or some of the worst ones I knew of” are by non-members or inactive members since they are nearly 100% of the world’s population. Even here in Utah, with an 18.6% active Mormon population (81.4% non/inactive), the “worst cases” will statistically involve non or lapsed Mormons.
You could make the same claim about people who drive a Mercedes or ride a bike to work. It doesn’t matter. You are inferring a both unsubstantiated correlation and causation.
You applied this to Satan’s influence. Here is the danger to that, in my opinion. Satan is purported to be an extremely powerful being with a third of the host of heaven at his command. If I internalize this, I am weak and nearly powerless as an individual. My only hope is to be on the Lord’s side. “My dad can whip your dad!” And compared to Father, I am also weak and nearly powerless. I am a speck of nothing in this grand scheme. And I don’t want to wee myself and my life that way.
When I set aside the great battle between good and evil and focus on my individual choices, I am happier and feel more empowered. I decide how best to help a neighbor – or if I have the energy and capacity to help at all in a given circumstance. If I don’t help, it’s not a victory for Satan. When I am kind to a stranger, I’m just doing the right thing – not firing off another round in the war for humankind’s souls.
Mormonism has a unique perspective on the supremacy of individual agency. And yet its theology often seems to conflict with those concepts, casting us as cannon fodder on this mortal battlefield. Every choice is a point for one side or the other. That sucks a lot of joy out of exercising my free agency.
“Where‘er thou art, act well thy part” and “May the odds be always in your favor”.
Been There,
You are fairly misguided or mis-applying unlinked statistics if you think that under 20% of Utahns are active LDS. Based upon my own observations and info from family members who live all over the state, the activity rate in Utah is much higher. The higher the percentage of LDS in an area the more people are active for social reasons.
el oso
You are correct – I was going on worldwide statistics. Regional stats are harder to come by.
Estimates are that 40%-60% of Utah Mormons are inactive (a fairly broad range). That would give 63% to 75% non or lapsed Mormon. Still a clear majority.
I know it’s not kosher to use Utah as a statistical surrogate for the LDS Church, but it’s a pretty safe assumption that for anything statistically significant in Utah, the Church probably has something to do with it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the COJCOLDS organization, but it could be LDS culture or history, which run deep in the Beehive State.
Anecdotally, I’ve known of several instances of domestic violence perpetrated by Church members, inside and outside Utah. Each case had some LDS cultural aspect to it (male priesthood dominance, abused woman preferring to “stick it out for the sake of eternal family” rather than get divorced, bishop taking abusive husband’s side, etc.). Domestic violence is a problem in all communities, but the cases I hear about among Church members have a distinct flavor to them that regrettably could be prevented with changes to our culture or teachings.
Jack, I agree that domestic violence in Utah has a LDS cultural influence to it. As I said above, I have experience working in a shelter. Many of our clients were of course LDS. I heard so many stories and I really hesitate to come on a blog like this and repeat them because it comes across as “bashing” the church to people who want to think it is all the non members that is making Utah’s statistics higher than national average, like above. I always get push back when I am really honest about the experience because it really made me wonder what the h I was doing staying LDS. An honest look inside a battered women’s shelter in Utah makes one wonder what is wrong with Mormons. I also tend to sound furious at the church because frankly, I still am. Having said why I tend to really hesitate to be honest about my experience, I guess it needs to be heard.
But, so many of the women were told to stay and forgive by their bishops, over and over. So many of the victims were not believed when they reached out for help. The abuse was denied, minimized, and she was told to stay. That was almost universal among the Mormon clients. All the battered women of every other denomination got told to divorce by their clergy if they had talked to clergy. Among all other denominations the attitude was that the abuser had violated the marriage covenant and there was no marriage to save because the abuser had destroyed the marriage. Only the Mormons were willing to “save the marriage” at the expense of the woman. The thing that REALLY got me was when we had an LDS male as the victim. Suddenly the advice was for him to divorce. Women are supposed to stay and get beaten but the men are supposed to get out. Bishops would side with the abuser, giving him a place to stay real close to her after she kicked him out and he moves in with the bishop’s family. Bishops came to the shelter and tried to shame the wife into going home, where she knew she faced another beating. Bishops just plain handled it badly in almost every case. And if the wife hadn’t involved the bishop, the abuser did and tried to use him to get her to drop charges, go home, forgive. What I saw and heard about how bishops handled things horrified me.
Then there is the preside/priesthood, temple marriage problem, where he thinks he has a priesthood right to dominate in whatever way it takes to get his wife to submit, and she couldn’t really see the problem with that because he has a God given right to preside and it is her problem to “harken” . And there is the”temple” marriage that MUST be saved at all costs. Women are taught to honor the priesthood and to value temple marriage. What they are never taught in a Mormon context is what domestic violence is and that if he ever hits her, even once he has violated the temple marriage and she has no obligation to try to save what no longer exists. There are no RS lessons on any kind of abuse. Marriage lessons are taught as if it doesn’t exist.
In my opinion, yes, the LDS church contributes to the problem by trying to pretend the problem doesn’t exist.
Case study: Rob Porter. High achieving, single income couple. Enabling bishops. Emphisize the importance of marriage. It’s all there in the newspaper accounts.
That said, this is clearly a cultural thing. LDS doctrine on abuse is crystal clear
The other Clark, yes, the doctrine is clear. The problem is that abusers do not see abuse as abuse. And they use the doctrine about presiding as justification for their behavior, so, yes the doctrine itself is part of the problem. The men use the doctrine as a weapon to justify their behavior and shame their wife.
Victims themselves don’t see it as abuse, partly because the abuser blames them, and partly the church teaches women that they are primarily responsible to keep the family together. Most victims take years to define what is happening as abuse, and usually someone has to say to them, “this is abuse” before they recognize it as abuse. Bishops also do not recognize it as abuse, partly because neither the victim nor the perpetrator use that word. Even when they do use the word, people don’t want to believe it is really abuse. Most of my clients didn’t come in to the shelter for counseling because they thought they were being abused, some were afraid they would be killed, but still couldn’t see that they were being abused. They usually came in because a friend or relative told them they should.
This is why we need more training for bishops to specifically teach them what abuse is. This is why we need lessons in RS teaching the women the red flags and the specific behaviors that abusers use to dominate and control. And we need lessons in YW teaching them what to watch out for in the young men they date, and teaching them that they are worth more than a temple marriage. And teach the men in priesthood that there is more to abuse than physically hitting. Abuse can be him deciding who she can have as friends, him controlling all the money, it can be verbal or emotional or spiritual.
Now, I want to put in that women can also be abusive, but where I worked we got mostly women as the victim and men as abuser, although there were exceptions. Men seem more willing to see when they are abused (but are less willing to reach out for help or let anyone know) and they usually have more resources to get away, and women abusers seldom pursue or try to kill their victims when they do leave, so the dynamics are just different.
I also highly doubt that 75% of Utah is inactive or non-LDS, considering the fact the Utah is also around 60% LDS. We need to look into how these statistics are generated. Are we going off of the Church’s statistics, or is this self-reported? Because I really doubt that Utah could be 60% LDS and 18% active LDS if it’s self-reported. Maybe things are just different in Utah, but outside of Utah, there are very few self-proclaimed inactive LDS people. People either just leave altogether and don’t consider themselves LDS, or they stay in and stay active. I grew up in Utah and still live here, but I don’t think saying you’re an inactive member will give you any more social cachet than saying you’re non-LDS. But I could be wrong.
BeenThere,
I really wasn’t trying to give Satan more credit than he deserves. I just implied that he has priorities, which I believe he does, even though he’ll exploit anything to his advantage. I believe knowing his priorities is an advantage in overcoming him that we wouldn’t otherwise have. Beyond that, simply using our time to be more like Jesus Christ is obviously our greatest weapon. I have yet to find any philosophy that emphasizes the reality of agency and its potential to become more than I have in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the teachings of the Church.
I too would dispute your statistics. I’m in Utah County, which is an obvious outlier, but of the 120 homes within our ward boundaries, 80 of them have active members. I’ve also lived in southern Utah. Now that I think about it, the number of active members in those ward boundaries was probably higher than my current ward. I’d imagine it’s lower in Salt Lake County. So while my experiences are admittedly somewhat anecdotal, they did occur in high density populations of active members.
Others have brought it back around to LDS culture or have tried to make a distinction between culure and doctrine. Again, it’s hard for me to say it’s either when it wasn’t what I was taught or shown in both teaching and example, or even what I felt by the Spirit. For example, I’ve spent the last 20 years attending and leaving the temple with the pervading feeling I was to treat my wife with the utmost respect. For me personally, recent wording changes in the endowment and sealing cermonies felt not like a change in their meaning but a conforming to their meaning (and a welcome one at that).
I think a lot of it goes to the soap analogy that President Uchtdorf popularized a couple of years ago. Just because kids get dirty and refuse to get clean doesn’t mean the soap manufacturer is to blame. Admittedly, we had a lot of stupid local distributors in years past (Bishops and Stake Presidents) who gave faulty advice on how to use it, but I feel like they’ve largely been phased out, although there are occasionally some holdovers here and there. I think if most of us simply read the instruction on the box of soap (scriptures, prayer, personal revelation) and applied accordingly it would be and occurrence of much less frequency.
My visiting teaching companion from a few years ago told me that one of the reasons that BYU put the student health center where it is (right by the married student housing) was because of the high rate of domestic violence that goes on there. She has worked as an advocate for the women who are in marriages where abuse of all forms has taken place. Regarding the YW. We need to speak honestly with them about the fact that just because a man has been on a mission and attends church weekly does NOT mean that he can’t be an abusive individual. Young women and young men need to know the signs of an abusive relationship. In the case of girls we must also strengthen their self-esteem so that if they do find themselves dating someone who turns out to be an abusive man they can have the courage to get out of the relationship ASAP rather than allow it to go on because they believe that they somehow deserve it. I know about this because it happened to me. I met someone who was from one of the well known families of the church at the time. After a whirlwind courtship (first red flag) we got engaged. Fortunately, I insisted on a longer engagement because I had work commitments that wouldn’t permit me to get married quickly (next red flag) like he wanted to. In the beginning all was wonderful, but as time wore on the emotional and verbal abuse began and then got worse. Then the gaslighting started. If I spoke up to defend myself or question him he would remind me that he was the Priesthood and that I had to obey him. (Another red flag). Normally I would have stood up against such such talk, but I was too emotionally exhausted and fragile, and at that time in my life I had quite low self-esteem.(Still another red flag). People would tell me how lucky I was to marry into this well-known family in the church and I could only think “If you only knew.” His mother knew what he was doing and took his side while they kept it all from his father. Finally, he broke the engagement off for good after a year, and then he showed up at a party five days later that my sister and her husband were also attending. He had just gotten engaged that evening to my BIL’s cousin! (He’d been cheating on me for six months.) Of course my sister and BIL told the cousin what kind of a person he was and what he’d done to me. She dumped him on the spot. BIL’s cousin and I are both grateful that we were spared a life of misery. This same man killed his wife eventually because of the collective effects of physical abuse. So, yes, I absolutely believe that we have to teach our youth what real love and respect looks like and also what forms abuse can take along with the knowledge that NOBODY deserves abuse. Any man who would use the Priesthood as an excuse to dominate and abuse others is a man to avoid.
I realise this is on a different level from Wayfaring Strange, but I had an Elders Quorum Pres (since HP combined) say that he hoped to practice polygamy. I was concerned for his wife. It just felt abusive to me.