Everyone has a message or two —or a trait or two—that seems to define them. This one is one of the three that seemed to define Hugh Nibley.
When I finally went to a high school reunion I was surprised to discover that I was most commonly remembered as kind. That made me happy.
When you look at your life, what message will define you?
What trait would it make you happy to be remembered with?
Wheat & Tares 
Stephen,
Some may take this quote out of context. It is not that dress and grooming do not have their place. Nibley was quick to comment he needed to stand a little taller and his children’s comments about his old clothes had their merits. It was when these were substituted for legitimate authority which his comment should be understood, not that they did not have their place.
As for the question. I am in hopes I will be remembered by my children as one who understood the definition of love and loved them. We will see what the next 20 years brings.
Stephen:
Ironically this is the note I mailed to my Stake President yesterday; as a result of the big push for everyone in our area to attend the Saturday evening session of Stake Conference (this upcoming weekend). I’ve grown so weary of Utah Cultural Mormonism (UCM) which attends to push everyone into conformity. Thanks
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
President “Puff and Blow” (Name changed)
As you continue to send unsolicited letters to my home – I will continue to “return the favor” to you.
It is impossible for me (us) to care any less about your stupid, boring, repetitious, pablum-filled “conference”; this coming weekend. Please rest assured that my family and I are going to enjoy a great movie together – Saturday evening (with popcorn) – and a leisurely Sunday morning breakfast/brunch. You go ahead and waste your time as you please. I will no longer allow you (or others like you) to waste my time.
Hugh Nibley ironically said it best: “…the worst sinners, according to Jesus, are not the harlots and publicans, but the religious leaders with their insistence on proper dress and grooming, their careful observance of all the rules, their precious concern for status-symbols, their strict legality, their pious patriotism….; the haircut becomes the test of virtue in a world where Satan deceives and rules by appearances.”
Regards
Meant to say “attempts to push everyone into conformity”. My bad…
No disagreement on those points Mark.
I don’t know what trait I might possess but one thing that I strive to teach children I come into contact with is that they are loved—by their parents and Heavenly Father and Jesus. That even if they make wrong choices, parents, Heavenly Father, and Jesus will be sad ( and sometimes seem mad) but they are loved. They are of value. They are important, always.
I wish I had known that as a child.
I love the Hugh Nibley quote, whether standing by itself, or with the clarifying comment by markamarsh.
In support of both the original quote provided by Stephen R. Marsh and markamarsh’s comment:
I worked as a temple worker for several years in the Washington, D.C. temple. In our training sessions, it was constantly emphasized that the temple ceremonies were to both performed exactly with correct wording and gestures, and also with love. It was also stressed constantly that if was not possible to achieve both exactness and love, love was to ALWAYS to win out.
That admonition was pretty generally followed, although I say that attending the temple is a celestial experience, while dealing with temple workers and administrators who had anal retentive, OCD, and legalistic personalities, things sometimes slipped down to the terrestrial level (sour grapes on my part, perhaps).
I think the Lord wants us to both observe His commandments exactly and to love Him and others as ourselves. But fortunately He made it clear that love was tops. I think the bromide “obedience is the first law of the Gospel” should be changed to “love is the first law, and the better we love, the more obedient we will want to be, and when we don’t always do things right, His grace is there for us.”
The older I get, the less I am concerned with strict legalism.
Hopefully I’ll be remembered as kind and service oriented. My mother in law is the kindest person I know but she’s lazy. Lots of hard working but selfish people. Maybe I can be both. I wish I could I could claim loving but honestly I barely tolerate many people so I’ll stick with kind.
I’m a fan of Hugh Nibley. I dont agree with everything he said but directionally I think he was better than many. Another quote (or near quote) of his that I try to remember is “careerism is the determination to reign in hell rather than serve in heaven.”
The Word of Wisdom and our dress code seem to be particularly Pharisaic boundary markers. I wish our leaders would see that.
I want to be remembered for a fast left hook. That’s about it.