Have you ever wondered about how decisions from your past have made such huge impacts to your present life, and the theological implications of these decisions?
For example, when I graduated with my degree in engineering in the early 1980’s, there was lots of jobs for engineers, and I had many employment offers. So my wife and I looked at the jobs, and selected the one I’m currently still employed in. It wasn’t the highest paying one, but seemed to offer security, which is evident in that I’m still here over 35 years later.
Now lets look at the fork in the road. My job moved me to Southern California. The other offers were in the bay area of San Francisco. So me and my small family (two children) moved to SoCal. We had a third child while here, and all my children met their spouses locally in the Stake’s YSA ward. If I had moved to the Bay area, my children would not have met their spouses, and would have married somebody else. I would not have any of the grand kids I have today, because they all would have a different parent, with different DNA. And to get really down in the weeds (with TMI), my third child would not be who she is, as she was conceived after a month long business trip. With the millions of possible DNA combinations what are dependent upon exactly when fertilization takes place, I can’t see my third child being the same person today if I had taken a job up North.
So what does this all have to do with church? Now I suppose one could argue that that I would have had the same kids, and grand kids, as God could have made sure my children all met their spouses, if you subscribe to the Saturdays Warrior view of the world that I wrote about here.
If you believe that God takes a more hands off approach, and that spirit children in the pre-mortal life and not assigned to specific families, then none of this would make any difference.
The question for you then is, how much do you rely on the “spirit” to guide you in seemingly temporal decisions? Is there really a purely temporal choice? What color of car I should buy might be classified as such. But then where do we draw the line on when we need to seek heavenly input? Maybe we should be living our lives in such a way that the spirit can influence all aspects of our lives, like what job we accept, what car we buy, and when and how many children we should have.
Wheat & Tares 
The title reminds me of the Yogi Berra saying. “If you see a fork in the road, you should take it.”
An interesting question I’ve thought a lot about. I can recall one of my mission presidents telling me about someone in his ward who wouldn’t choose between two cans of peas until they had felt confirmation from the Spirit as to which one they should buy. The story sounded surprisingly inspirational until my president ended it by saying “Let’s not waste the Lord’s time with stuff like that.” I tend to agree with that sentiment.
I think it’s somewhere in the middle. I don’t think the Lord is as concerned with the day to day but I do think He is more than willing to help in the bigger decision since they can have great impact on us and possibly greater on those around us. This would include jobs and kids, among other things.
As far as reliance on the Spirit, I know some very well rounded people who seem so close to the Spirit in every day life that it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they “speaketh as one man speaketh to another” on occasion. I’ll admit it almost makes me envious.. On the flip side, I’ve heard that if one is doing his or her best to live righteously but still struggles with confirmation and answers to prayer, it’s a sign that the Lord trusts you in your decisions. Sometimes I feel I either need to rethink my lifestyle, or that the Lord trusts me waaaay too much.
I had a college friend who had a dependency problem on the spirit. She wouldn’t make any decision without confirming it was the right one. It was annoying.
The older I get the more suspicious I am about these confirming feelings. How does one weed out confirmation bias and the rest? I’ve had some family members make some truly disastrous decisions because the spirit told them it was the right thing to do (and even a faith-crisis because of it). I do think of the road-not-taken quite a bit. I mean, would you have loved and valued those alternate-universe grandkids any less? Is it sad that they don’t exist?
As I tell my wife, “It’s your fault I didn’t get into Stanford, because if you had gone to Stanford, I would’ve gone there too.”
For me personally, in order to feel like I have agency, I believe that God “sees the future” in the sense that he sees many different futures, and the possibilities are adjusted every time we make a choice. And if an omnipotent God really needs something to happen a particular way in order for it to fit into His plan, He’ll influence outcomes in a certain way that makes that possibility a reality. So God might not know (and probably doesn’t care) which brand of green beans I’m going to buy on a particular day, but if that choice has the butterfly effect and causes something important to occur for someone else, He’ll somehow influence me to make a particular choice.
My wife would argue differently — she says God knows what’s going to happen, mainly because He knows us and our personalities so intimately that He knows what choices we’re going to make. I think this thought makes sense but it also causes me to get inside my own head a little too much, so I prefer the “multiple futures” theory.
Bishop Bill, I’ve pondered and continue to ponder these same questions.
Right now, I tend to think God is more “hands-off.” People can get inspiration that doesn’t result in a positive outcome and we attribute it to “God wanted us to learn”. Learn what? I see in my family the only one who served a mission has the more challenging family life.
My faith crisis sent me seeking after God wholeheartedly. I had some incredible experiences with Him. One day He told me that He wanted to be more involved in my life, in small things as well as big things. While I’ve never asked him about which can of peas to buy, I take many many issues, concerns, problems or even just random thoughts to him and He is so generous in answering me. For me, building a relationship with Him required me to humble myself to let Him beinvolved in all aspects of my life.
This thought ends up sending my mind to the same place when I hear about infinite parallel universes.
I am very sympathetic with the complete hand’s off idea. I am not at all sympathetic with the micro-manager minute by minute approach. But without any proof, what it “feels” like is that there are a handful of decision in my life that make/made a difference, that represented real forks in the road. On the order of once a decade.
I think a post on parallel universes could prove interesting (as I used the search function, it seems some other posts at least touch upon the idea). I personally struggle with the idea of infinite versions of me out there when I’ve been taught I’m a unique child of God. I saw one blog some time back mention Wilford Woodruff’s sermon, in which he stated that the Lord showed him what would happen had he not issued the manifesto, as possible evidence for the existence of parallel universes. I wasn’t completely convinced.
As far as bringing about the immortality and eternal life of man, I can see parallel Earths occupying this same space at a different frequency or dimension as possibly and extra way for Heavenly Father’s creations to continue, but I’d expect each one to be different enough that it might as well be a different planet in a different solar system.
I listened to the Spirit to help me decide to enter college instead of the workforce. Good choice. I listened to my mother to help me decide on a degree in Music Ed. instead of performance. Bad choice; never taught a single day but I’m a crackerjack singer.
I think some people use “the Spirit” as a crutch, to avoid taking responsibility for their own choices. When faced with a major life decision or moral dilemma, it’s normal to wish that some supernatural force will just tell you what the “right” answer is, so you don’t have to do the work of figuring stuff out, weighing pros and cons and dealing with possible negative consequences. But that’s life. God gave you a brain, so use it. Outsourcing your decision-making authority to a supernatural force is central to Satan’s plan.
This post has me thinking of my brother-in-law. He’s a decent, well-meaning guy, but he has a long streak of failures and setbacks that largely define his life. One of his major personality flaws is that he is allergic to owning responsibility for his own choices; it’s always someone else’s fault. He is very devout and believes in the importance of following the Spirit, which plays right into his flawed thinking. For example, he prayed for a long time for help to find a new job. He eventually got a new job, but got fired about a year into it. He proceeded to blame his family members for encouraging him to apply for that job in the first place. And while he doesn’t own the bad choices that got him fired, he believes the Spirit led him to getting hired only as a setup to getting fired later, as some sort of divine punishment or curse cycle. So now he’s developing a persecution complex. I think he would be much better off in life if he could extricate himself from all this nebulous “Saturdays Warrior” pseudo-doctrine about life paths and destiny and spiritual guidance, and instead feel like a responsible agent of his own life.
Jack,
I would hope most members understand that use of the Spirit, with few exceptions, comes after all the thinking, decision making, and struggling has been completed. The Gospel is all about enhancing agency, not limiting or bypassing it. However, I have met many members of the type you mentioned, who essentially sit there waiting for the guidance. they need before taking any action. I’m not completely sure why this is, since it isn’t how I was taught, but I suspect it stems from stories where the Spirit has helped people out of some immediately dangerous situations. I imagine the line of thinking is if the Spirit can be so bold then, why not in every day life?
“Have you ever wondered about how decisions from your past have made such huge impacts to your present life, and the theological implications of these decisions?”
Frequently. The greatest was my decision to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a teenager.
Many spirits exist, not just THE spirit and it is quite proper to ask whatever spirit is floating around you RIGHT NOW with nothing else to do what can of peas to buy at Walmart. But it is still your decision to make, your responsibility the consequences if you pick the one with botulism.
Many choices don’t really matter; the key is how you approach the solution to a problem, not the particulars of the problem itself. That’s what I teach Boy Scouts. The exact details of an Eagle Project are almost irrelevant; what matters is how you approach obstacles.