In the movie “Charley” there is a scene where the protagonist calls his mother about his concerns about his fiancée’s prior sexual experiences. The mother castigates him for his concerns, telling him that they make him unworthy of the fiancée and of Christ. It is clear that he is sinful for his condemning her, for denying the power of the atonement.
I was comparing that to a lesson I heard about where they pounded nails into a board and then pulled them out and basically said that the nails might be out but the holes will always remain – a lesson that basically said that Christ’s atonement may cover some things, but it was powerless to cover anything that really mattered.
It was a lesson that had a form of godliness, but denied the power of God.
Can you think of other lessons that people sometimes teach that may seem to have a good point, but that really just deny the power of God?
The “chewed gum” story comes to mind.
“But remember this, my son: we would rather come to this station and take your body off the train in a casket than to have you come home unclean, having lost your virtue.”
We used to call these sorts of lessons “spiritual twinkies”. They may taste good and fill you up momentarily, but they have no nutritional value whatsoever, and a steady diet of them will slowly rot you from the inside out.
Much of what appears in the Ensign or other church magazines these days qualify as spiritual twinkies. As does the kitschy LDS internet memes.
“Not Even Once Club”. It teaches the idea that you can make yourself perfect without the Savior if you just live perfectly. We are all fallen and sin in innumerable ways (seeKing Benjamin in Mosiah 4:29). You can’t believe in the atonement and still preach that it’s possible to live a sin free life if you avoid breaking any “rules”. We all mess up…more than once. We all need the atonement. The more we think we don’t need the atonement, the more we probably do in fact.
We are taught that life is about learning and we are taught that we are here to gain earthly experience that includes making mistakes.
We are taught that the atonement is all about being able to repent and move on. We are supposed to learn from our mistakes but not wallow in guilt or shame. We are taught that we can be forgiven to such an extent that we are washed clean of that sin.
Culturally, there is a footnote to those teachings. Culturally, none of those glorious Christian teachings seem to apply to women and sexual sin. So many friends have told me stories of punishments that were severe and long lasting. So many have told me stories of sexual indiscretions in their teen years that were found out by members of their ward. Decades later, they would return to visit family and found that they were still branded as a fornicator by that ward. Decades of diligent and devout living did nothing to negate their past actions.
The lesson that women are taught is that God forgives but LDS communities, wards and bishops do not.
“The lesson that women are taught is that God forgives but LDS communities, wards and bishops do not.” Not the case in my ward or stake, either as to youthful (or even adult) sexual activity in violation of the law of chastity. Where it is the ward cultural norm, I’m not so sure it applies only to women and not to men. There are a lot of cultural things about my ward I don’t like, but what Damascene describes is not one of them. If only it were not the case anywhere!
This reminds me of a recent book that I’ve heard very good things about, but haven’t read yet:
Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved, by Kate Bowler
The “chewed gum” story
Not Even Once Club
The come home in a casket quote
Yikes!! Nails on the chalkboard. All.
Or perhaps that you didn’t go on a mission and therefore aren’t probably a good fit for being a young men’s president. This actually happened during one of our bishopric meetings in trying call a new YM prez. I told the other counselor that was wrong thinking as Pres Hunter (you know, one of the prophets) didn’t serve a mission.
Another one is a close friend who was called in to the SP to be called to be bishop. The SP asked if he had ever been X’d and he said yes, about 10 years previous. The prez put it on hold and met with him later and said that in fact it had been 10 years ago. He was not called to be bishop but a counselor. This tells me that you can never fully repent and have your sins “forgotten “ as the computers atHQ don’t forget and you get an asterisk or something by your name.
My own take from the board and nails story was and is that while the sin itself can and will be forgiven, the earthly effects of that sin often are still felt. A person may cheat on a spouse, repent and be forgiven, but that will not heal the damage that is done to children in the family and the family relationships. Healing will take time and often the emotional scars last throughout mortality. A person that maybe cripples another human being for life may repent and find forgiveness, but the consequences are still with the victim for mortality. I could list many more examples but this should suffice.
Glen, that’s a nice thought. It could even be a good lesson if handled very very carefully. However, that’s not how that analogy is used in the actual church.
The lesson ACTUALLY is, “girls, once you’ve had a penis in you, you’ll never be virtuous again.” That’s all it is. Nothing more complicated or spiritually sophisticated than that. It’s just a bit of slut shaming and torturing rape victims and should be banned from church forever.
Thank you for the comments/
“a lesson I heard about where they pounded nails into a board and then pulled them out and basically said that the nails might be out but the holes will always remain”
I heard this same lesson in California and is one of the rare times when I have challenged a teaching immediately. If the Lord remembers them no more, there are no holes!