Last week during Sacrament meeting, as I watched the young men bless and pass the sacrament, it brought back memories of my Aaronic Priesthood rites of passage.
At 12 I became a Deacon at the hands of my father. With a July birthday, I was somewhat younger that my friends in the same grade, and was the last to escape from primary and join them in Deacon’s quorum. This was all pre-three hour block (which became a thing in 1980), so I now went to church early with my dad. I remember the first time I passed the sacrament. It was to the Junior Sunday School [1]. We also passed the sacrament twice, once during Sunday School opening exercises, and again during Sacrament meeting later on in the day. I still remember the order we used, 1st to the stage, 2nd to the far side edge, 3-4 down the middle, 5 on the near side edge, and 6 to the back. Also, there was an assignment called a “Bishop’s messenger” during Sacrament meeting. The assigned deacon would sit behind the bishop during the meeting, and be on the ready to deliver messages to members of the congregation. This was back in the day when bishops would see that the meeting was running short, and throw out “Night at the Improve” invitations for members in the congregation to give a talk, bear testimony, or sing a song. I remember taking notes the bishop had handed me and walking to the congregation to deliver the dreadful news to some poor sap!
But as fun as being a deacon was, the next big step was being a teacher. Now we’re talking real duties. We got to fix the sacrament, put water in the little paper cups (plastic was for sissies), and be assigned to “usher”, which meant sitting by the back door and goofing off with a friend. All this was a big step, the biggest being we didn’t have to pass anymore. It was a big step down to be asked to help the deacons pass when they were short a person.
The best was yet to come, being ordained a priest! In my chapel, which was common in the 1970’s, the sacrament table was off at the side, and the bench for the priests behind the table was at floor level, not up on the stage. So while sitting on the bench you could NOT be seen by the bishopric, or most of the congregation, only those sitting on the side of the chaple. They also did not “excuse the priesthood to sit with their families” [2] After sacrament was over, we would take off our shoes off and just relax. Lance the football player had a little AM radio he would take up there, and run a cord up his sleeve to an earpiece. He would then lean on his hand and listen to football during the playoffs, relaying the score to the rest of us.
Each of these steps was a rite of passage, forming a bonding experience with those other young men that holds to this day. I looked forward to going to church to be with them, to participate in the passing, preparation and administering of the sacrament.
But what of our young women? My three daughters didn’t have any of this. Graduating from Beehive to MiaMaids was not a big deal. they gained no new responsibility, and they were not visible during the meeting doing anything important.
What could the church do to create “rites of passage” for these girls short of letting them pass and bless the sacrament? Could they be ushers? Could they prepare the sacrament? What are your thoughts?
[1] In the pre-3 hr block days, there was a morning priesthood meeting, usually around 8 am. Then at 10 was Sunday school, with a junior Sunday school up to age 11. Sacrament was passed in both meetings, then passed again in the afternoon at Sacrament meeting.
[2] I’m not sure when this became a thing, but it seems fairly universal as I’ve traveled around the church.
Wheat & Tares 
Why do you assume that the “rite of passage” is a good thing ? Secondly, why would you assume the YW need one or even want one?
My guess is that you would have felt left out without those things, therefore you project that to the YM thinking they would feel the same. I’m thinking that generally speaking the female ego is not as fragile as the male’s and therefore isn’t feeling “left out” of your “festivities”.
Interesting post, Bishop Bill, especially the twist into gender-based disparity at the end. It effectively caught me off guard. It also sparked a haunting memory from my mission. Me and two other Elders were trying to resolve a woman’s concern. She did not see any equivalent experience for girls to the Aaronic Priesthood. I remember us firing off canned arguments about LDS women getting loads of praise and respect from us men. We even did some eye-rolling at her refusal to accept our position. I look back now and see how my 20-year-old self utterly lacked empathy for the young women I’d grown up with.
As for the ego claim in RTE’s comment, I’ll risk getting into trouble. When it comes to the gender issues of our day, I generally root feminism on. That being said, I won’t patronize women by claiming they lack fragile egos. My experience in four decades of life is that women can be every bit as unethical and self-serving as men. The only fundamental difference is they have historically been deprived the social cushion of privilege to get away with it.
I grew up with two awesome older sisters, who have only become more awesome in adulthood. I am sorry that in adolescence it never seriously occured to me their Mormon upbringing lacked an equivalent to priesthood ordination, or for that matter, an award opportunity with the prestige of Eagle Scout. My sisters would have made great Deacons/Teachers/Priests. That being said, ahem, they weren’t born with faultless egos.
Some byu devotional speakers have advocated for baking the sacrament bread. Said their ward in Springville did it.
Great post, OP. I can tell you that handing out baptistry towels definitely *won’t* fill the rite of passage need. And it’s a painfully gaping need.
When I was a teacher, a woman in our Ward made the bread every week. It was nasty. I prefer store bought bread.
The best sacrament bread we ever had was in the English language ward in Tokyo, while we were over on holiday visiting family, huge pieces of a fluffy brioche style loaf of the kind sold in a local bakery in Tokyo.
On the OP, I really don’t know what to suggest. I think the girls would be pretty quick to pick up whether an assigned role was meaningful. On the other hand ritual is something that takes time to embed as ritual. Reading some of the history of the priesthood, it seems like the ritual we associate with what the boys do wasn’t there when those tasks were first assigned.
There was some halfhearted attempt in my ward to have the Young Women be “greeters.” It never went anywhere and I’m not sure why. May have fallen off the agenda, may have turned out the YW didn’t feel like greeting folks at quarter to ten on a Sunday morning.
I’m manufacturing my own rites of passage and celebrations for my daughter. Already have something planned for physical milestones (tall enough to ride the biggest rollercoasters, first period), standard US/LDS teenager ones (YW award, drivers license) and academic ones (first SAT, first prizes, etc.). Is her ego fragile? No. Does she get a boost of confidence from acknowledging different milestones and accomplishments in her life? Sure.
I remember performing most of the duties listed in the OP over the course of my own upbringing in the Aaronic Priesthood continuum. One Deacon duty he didn’t mention was going to ward members’ houses on Sunday afternoons to collect fast offerings. I’ve heard some wards still do that, mostly for the sake of tradition. Also, as a Priest, I regularly brought the sacrament to invalid members in an assisted living facility that was in our ward boundaries. What all these “rites of passage” have in common is that they were mundane or unpleasant duties, yet we were expected to cheerfully do them anyway, and we were told that it’s what God expected of us. I suppose there is value in teaching teenagers to do things they otherwise wouldn’t want to do for the benefit of others. It’s unfortunate that there aren’t equivalent experiences for the young women. Even as a young man, I thought it was unfair that they didn’t have to do any of the grunt work.
In my current ward there are only 2 or 3 young men who show up consistently. Pretty much all of the above mentioned Aaronic Priesthood duties are being performed by old men. Our EQ has a standing assignment to prepare, bless and pass the sacrament, and has a rotation schedule. I’ve lived in the ward almost 2 years now, and I have yet to see anyone under 18 bless the sacrament. And this is a normal-sized, stable middle class suburban mostly white ward. I’m not sure if it’s a function demographics or low birth rates, or if the lack of young men is indicative of a wider trend, but the idea of such duties being a rite of passage has all but disappeared, at least in my ward. And there are plenty of young women who are perfectly capable of doing these things.
I suspect deacons collecting fast offerings is only done in Utah, perhaps Idaho. Is there anywhere outside of that where deacons go door-to=-door to collect fast offerings?
I think it is dumb. If I am out of town on Fast Sunday, I don’t donate. If it was electronic, I would. I suppose some people are the opposite, but it seems like wasted effort on behalf of deacons, IMO.
MH, Years ago deacons did it regularly in northwestern US. Fewer years ago deacons did it regularly in southwestern US. More recently, I don’t know. I remember a number of otherwise wholly inactive members contributing. Yep. People are not all the same and neither are all wards of the church.
This post is another excellent example of how deeply our cultural patriarchy truly runs. My 5 year old daughter picked up on this last year while she watched men announce the meeting, one set of boys bless the sacrament and another set of boys pass the sacrament when she leaned over to me and asked, “Dad, why did God love you enough to make you a boy but not me?”
I would add to the list the Eagle Scout Court of Honor which tends to be a much larger celebration/production that the Young Women in Excellence events. Gratefully we are ~15 months away from the cultural death of scouting in the American church and perhaps the new program will have a more equitable recognition for the achievements of each gender.
As for what we can do, I would vote for scrubbing down our patriarchal culture with a doctrinal loofah. Our doctrine has no prohibition to women of any age handing our programs at the chapel doors, ushering at stake conference, handing our microphones during rant and travelogue meeting, or acting as a messenger for the bishop.
From an even broader view, Elder Oaks taught us (in my reading of this quote*) that the gender of a person doesn’t matter when preforming a duty in the church. As long as the person was set apart by the priesthood then whatever duty they preform thereafter is completed with priesthood authority. So by Elder Oaks’s logic, which I think is sound and doctrinally accurate, young women could be allowed to pass the sacrament, collect fast offerings, bless the sacrament, and do all other tasks traditionally assigned to the young men. So lets start doing that sooner than later. I have 3 girls and I will not allow them to continue to participate in cultural practices which silently subjugate them especially when those practices are not founded on the eternal doctrines of Christ’s gospel. The time for change is now.
* “We are not accustomed to speaking of women having the authority of the priesthood in their Church callings, but what other authority can it be? When a woman—young or old—is set apart to preach the gospel as a full-time missionary, she is given priesthood authority to perform a priesthood function. The same is true when a woman is set apart to function as an officer or teacher in a Church organization under the direction of one who holds the keys of the priesthood. Whoever functions in an office or calling received from one who holds priesthood keys exercises priesthood authority in performing her or his assigned duties.”
When my daughter was age 9, she was very put out that her brother was ordained a deacon and got to pass the sacrament. She suggested being an usher or handing out programs as an alternative for the girls to do. I try to downplay passing the sacrament so she didn’t feel so overlooked, but that didn’t really make her feel better, any more than it makes any woman feel. As someone once put it, when a child doesn’t want to share a toy, it’s not very convincing when they try to make the toy sound less fun than the different one they are foisting on the other child as a distraction.
I don’t have any easy answers, but at bare minimum, wards need to bring both the boys & girls up for class graduation if they are recognizing priesthood advancement. Our current ward didn’t do that until we merged with them, and the people from our area were used to doing that in our old ward, and pointed out that it’s only right to recognize both. The church does try to make the YW Medallion an equivalent of sorts with the Eagle, although it’s not really the same thing. My daughter was very put out that so many of the requirements seemed sexist (like learning to cook) until her dad pointed out that scouts also had to learn to cook as part of their requirements.