Men’s ties have to be the stupidest, most worthless piece of clothing that have ever been foisted on mankind. Not being a women, I can’t speak to absurdities of pantie hose, high heals, or corsets and will leave that to the fairer sex to discuss.

As a young Aaronic Priesthood holder in the 70’s, I got used to wearing a tie, but would mostly wear a clip on tie (oh the humanity…..). I remember my father teaching me how to tie a tie as I got ready to go on my mission.  Then for the next two years I wore a tie Every! Single! Day!  After I got home, and within 6 months I got a job that required me to wear a tie.

Back in the 1970’s, California had a law that said if an employer made you wear a uniform, they had to buy it for you.  The one exception was “business attire”, which was  defined in the law as a white shirt and tie!  So a business could make you wear a white shirt and tie and not have to pay for it! It didn’t matter if the job was in an office environment or not, as I was hired by Save Mart grocery store to be a box boy (called courtesy clerk by the retail clerks union). For the next four year as I worked my way through college, I wore a white shirt and tie to work, helping little old ladies out to their car with their groceries.

I don’t often have to wear a tie at work today, usually only when a visiting executive, or Navy Admiral is at my office and I have to make a presentation.  I also wear one when I go to the Pentagon for meetings.

Now there is a study that shows that wearing a tie can cut blood flow to the brain by as much a 7.5%, according to a recently published paper in the journal of Neuroradiology. Less blood flow leads to less cognitive capability, which would explain a lot of the dumb decisions men have made in politics, and church leadership.  I had a bishop once that must have had his extra tight!

I still wear a tie to church, but since my cognitive abilities are on the decline anyway due to old age and watching the Simpsons, I don’t want to exacerbate it, so I keep my tie nice and loose.  Here is how I wore it last Sunday to church.

Tie3

So, what do you men think of ties? Do you wear one to work? To church?