Today we are honored to hear from guest blogger, Bryce Cook.
Two of the most moving talks at this month’s General Conference were Sister Linda Burton’s “I Was a Stranger” and Elder Patrick Kearon’s “Refuge from the Storm,” which were about administering relief to the world’s refugees. The Church has even set up a special website to educate people on this issue and provide ways for us to aid in this effort. Moreover, as Elder Kearon stated in his talk:
Under the direction of the First Presidency, the Church is working with 75 organizations in 17 European countries. These organizations range from large international institutions to small community initiatives, from government agencies to faith-based and secular charities.
With all the recent attention and resources the Church has given to aiding refugees of political crises around the world, I am struck by the irony of having refugees in our own midst – spiritual and emotional refugees of our Church’s own making – whose plight is mostly ignored by the Church. They are spiritual, emotional and in some cases physical refugees by virtue of being emotionally isolated or cast out of their faith communities and sometimes even by their families because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Like their political/ethnic refugee counterparts, they are minorities in a culture that does not seem to want them, or are casualties of cultural/political wars that make life so unbearable they must flee their spiritual home to find safety.
What are we doing to help them, these spiritual refugees of our own making? As I have listened to and read Elder Kearon’s talk on aiding refugees, it impressed me that his inspired counsel can be applied just as readily to our LGBT refugees, and if followed could make a significant positive impact in their lives (1). Here are some of the passages from his talk that I thought were particularly applicable.
There are an estimated 60 million refugees in the world today, which means that “1 in every 122 humans … has been forced to flee their homes,” and half of these are children. It is shocking to consider the numbers involved and to reflect on what this means in each individual life.
Most surveys find that people who self-identify as LGBT make up 3-4% of the population(2). However, because some people who are attracted to the same sex do not identify as LGBT, the true percentage is likely higher. Of the 15 million reported members of the Church, we might expect a half million to a million of them to be LGBT. Surveys of LGBT Mormons have found that the vast majority end up leaving the Church (3). Something is seriously wrong if so many have felt “forced to flee their [spiritual] homes” – the wards and stakes of Zion.
Particularly distressing is the number of LGBT youth who feel such agony and self-loathing for who they are that they are driven to suicide or are kicked out of their homes by their own family. It is truly shocking to consider the numbers involved and reflect on the pain and suffering that so many of our LGBT youth have experienced growing up in a Church culture that has vilified them and made them feel like they were the worst of sinners by their very existence.
There are highly charged arguments in governments and across society regarding what the definition of a refugee is and what should be done to assist the refugees. My remarks are not intended in any way to form part of that heated discussion, nor to comment on immigration policy, but rather to focus on the people who have been driven from their homes and their countries by wars that they had no hand in starting.
Similarly, there are highly charged arguments in the Church regarding the definition and labeling of homosexuality, the related doctrines and policies, and what should be done with LGBT members. These arguments bring up questions such as: Do homosexuals even exist in the Church? Is it appropriate to be “out”? Is same-gender attraction merely a mortal condition or is it eternal? Is same-sex marriage a threat to the Church? And why would the Church enact a policy that divides families and excludes children?
While there needs to be a constructive dialog around these questions, taking Elder Kearon’s lead, you don’t have to wade into these heated discussions to give aid. Rather, as he says, simply focus on the people – let’s see them as our fellow brothers and sisters and family members who have been driven from their spiritual homes because of a sexual orientation or gender identity that they had no hand in choosing (4).
I saw in action a member of the Church who, for many months, worked through the night, providing for the most immediate needs of those arriving… Among countless other endeavors, she administered first aid to those in most critical medical need; she saw that the women and children traveling alone were cared for; she held those who had been bereaved along the way and did her best to allocate limited resources to limitless need. She, as so many like her, has been a literal ministering angel, whose deeds are not forgotten by those she cared for, nor by the Lord, on whose errand she was.
Reading this account, I couldn’t help but think of my friends Berta Marquez and Kathy Carlston who have literally been ministering angels to countless numbers of lost and troubled LGBT youth, even opening their own home to those who have none. Berta was there for my son when he was back at BYU, newly returned from his mission, feeling very alone and afraid of who might discover his secret (that he was gay). She became his friend, built him up and introduced him to her circle of friends, a close-knit group of BYU students who shared his situation. I will be forever grateful to Berta for that.
I also think of Dr. Caitlyn Ryan who has devoted her life and resources to research on how families and communities – including our own LDS community – can prevent suicide and negative outcomes for their LGBT youth (see the Family Acceptance Project). I think of the Mama Dragons who with their fierce devotion to and love of their gay children extend that same love and devotion to LGBT youth who don’t have the same family support. I’ve seen how they send out the “bat signal” whenever a young person is in need, stepping in to rescue that person when no one else will. I think of those who started Mormons Building Bridges and the groundbreaking work they have done to reach out to the LGBT community to heal deep wounds by encouraging Church members to feel greater empathy and compassion for LGBT people. I think of Affirmation and the spiritual/emotional refuge it has provided for a huge number of displaced LGBT members along with their families and friends. I think of our own ALL Arizona group and the many allies who have recently joined because they felt moved by the Spirit to reach out and do something for our LGBT members after the exclusion policy came out.
I have seen many members of the Church who have experienced a joyful awakening and enriching of the soul as they have responded to that deep, innate desire to reach out and serve those in such extreme need around them. … Seasoned members of the Church who have given years of service and leadership attest to the fact that ministering to these people so immediately in need has provided the richest, most fulfilling experience in their service so far.
I have experienced this “joyful awakening and enriching of the soul” and have seen it happen to many others who have become involved in getting to know and serving our LGBT brothers and sisters. It is truly an awakening because you see with new eyes and are given a new heart. What many thought they once knew – the firm convictions, the doctrinal justifications, the prejudices – all seem to fade into irrelevance once they see someone as Christ sees them. This kind of conversion experience will both enlarge your spirit and refine your faith like nothing else I know.
We have found refuge. Let us come out from our safe places and share with them, from our abundance, hope for a brighter future, faith in God and in our fellowman, and love that sees beyond cultural and ideological differences to the glorious truth that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love.”
Elder Kearon’s call to come out of our safe places is not without personal risk. Just as coming out of the closet for an LGBT person takes courage, coming out publicly as an LGBT ally in our Church culture takes courage. Because it may be seen as unorthodox or out on the fringes of what is acceptable, for some supporters being an LGBT ally may mean being taken off the potential leadership track (if that’s even a concern) or perhaps losing the esteem and fellowship of some of our fellow members.
The greatest impediment to coming out of the safety of the closet or for our fellow saints to be fully accepting is fear – fear of going against the leadership, fear of stepping out on the slippery slope, fear of losing status and reputation. But when such fear can be cast aside and replaced with the pure love of Christ, the resulting liberation and awakening of the soul described above far outweighs any loss. Once we have taken that bold step, what do we do next? In Elder Kearon’s words:
We must take a stand against intolerance and advocate respect and understanding across cultures and traditions. Meeting refugee families and hearing their stories with your own ears, and not from a screen or newspaper, will change you. Real friendships will develop and will foster compassion and successful integration.
After looking into their eyes and hearing their stories, both of the terror they had fled and of their perilous journey to find refuge, I will never be the same.
Let your support be known. Something as small as wearing a rainbow pin or ring to Church will signal your support and may let that struggling youth who feels completely alone know that someone in their ward supports them. Speak up against intolerance when someone says something incorrect or hurtful in Sunday School or Relief Society. Be sincere and vulnerable and share the stories you have learned from your LGBT family and friends. That is what will soften hearts and open minds. When we as a church begin to see our LGBT members as real people just like us, and not just policy issues or doctrinal challenges, we will never be the same.
Senior Church leadership has signaled its position with the recent exclusion policy. Any positive change, any rescue efforts directed to our LGBT spiritual refugees will have to come from ordinary people like you and me. We don’t need to try to change doctrine, we don’t need to lobby Church leaders and we don’t need to loudly protest. But we do need to come out from our safe places and take a stand, and we do need to care for our LGBT brothers and sisters who, as much as anyone, might be considered “the least of these” among us.
“Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”
(1) In making this comparison, I do not want to detract in any way from the Church’s effort to aid worldwide political refugees, which is a cause I believe in and fully support.
(2) See, for instance, this recent Gallup survey.
(3) See, for instance, this survey research conducted by Dehlin, Bradshaw and Gallaher.
(4) From mormonsandgays.org: “Where the Church stands: The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.”
Bryce Cook is a founding member of ALL (Arizona LDS LGBT) Friends & Family and a co-director of the fourth annual “ALL Are Alike Unto God” Conference to be held on April 23, 2016 in Mesa. He is married to Sara Spencer Cook and together they have six children, two of whom are gay. Since their oldest son came out in 2012, Bryce and Sara have become public allies for LGBT people in and out of the church. Bryce currently serves in his ward’s High Priest group leadership.
Wheat & Tares 
Love this. Thank you for what you are doing.
The LDSs need to be aware of this and act in a way that would be helpful. I don’t know if we have any of these people in our ward, but I would hope they would be treated the right way.
The LBGT thing would be one of the very hardest problems to deal with. Relatively very few of us who do not have such a problem have relatively little knowledge of what to do about it and maybe nothing can be done about it. There was a time when no one at Christs’ time had ever known any healing of a person born blind until Christ came along and did it. When the apostles at his time asked Jesus why they couldn’t heal the son that had evil spirits, he told them about prayer and fasting. I would think that could work with the LBGTs if Christ did it but I have never heard of men accomplishing that with LBGTs. In theory it should work.
And so, LBGTs, since we have not been able to accomplish that it remains your problem. Wearing rainbow rings is not my thing. But I have an idea.
Get yourself inside a Celestial room of the nearest temple.
What about the temple recommend? – Get one.
What about masturbation? Don’t do it. (As long as you can.)(You will never feel good while you are in the temple when you have that problem but I wonder if that makes you unworthy to be their.)
I believe the Celestial room is where you need to be. So get there!
Oh, and by the way, don’t lie to you Bishop/Branch President. If he asks you questions then tell him what you’re trying to do. Read this if you want to. If he tells you to throw it in the garbage then throw it in the garbage. My idea has gone west.
LDS LBGTs: This is your problem. We don’t know anything about it except
that you can’t help being that way. Get close to God and find out what He says and then preach to us.
I tried this once in the Saint Paul Minnesota Temple and it didn’t work but that’s another story. You try it. Somebody has to solve this LBGT business.
I am sorry Richard, but I think your response misses the point. Then ironically you end with “I tried this once and it didn’t work.” Thanks. And your final line, “Somebody has to solve this LGBT business.” Wow. Lot’s of love there.
I think the post was suggesting we put an arm around LGBT people or families. I think it was inviting us to not let church class discussions become rejection centers for people who don’t fit the norm. It also wasn’t fully about LGBT people, it was nudging all the marginalized.
Perhaps you should stop hiding out in the upper room of a building and come out and befriend others. Those with issues and those without.
As for me, I liked the post and it’s reflection.
Richard, the critical part of the post is where Kearon said, “focus on the people who have been driven from their homes and their countries by wars that they had no hand in starting.”
Your proposed solution (or method to find a solution) is to have those people conform to the wishes of the majority in order to avoid “refugee” status in the first place. Being a refugee, then, is something of their own choosing.
Let’s compare this to the Mormons being persecuted by citizens in Missouri. Those citizens were angry with Mormons for both rational and irrational reasons. Had Mormons stopped practicing their religion publicly and privately, the people of Missouri wouldn’t have had a problem. Unfortunately, the Mormons continued to identify as Mormon and insisted on acting on those beliefs. For their own protection, the citizens of Missouri felt compelled to expel and exterminate (if necessary) the Mormons.
The people of Quincy, Illinois, on the other hand, welcomed the refugees and gave them shelter and food. They housed them for the winter. They didn’t necessarily agree with Mormon beliefs, or the actions of the group, but they recognized the actions of those in Missouri were inappropriate. They cared for the basic needs of the Mormon refugees until those refugees were able to move on to a place where they could practice their religion in peace.
Again, the people of Quincy did not agree with the beliefs or practices of Mormons, but they recognized that Mormons had been treated as less than human. They knew it wasn’t right.
There are refugees among us
That are not from foreign shores;
And the battles they are waging
Are from very private wars.
And there are no correspondents
Documenting all their grief,
But these refugees among us all
Are yearning for relief.
There are refugees among us.
They don’t carry flags or signs.
They are standing right beside us
In the market check out lines;
And the war they’ve been fighting
It will not be televised,
But the story of their need for love
Is written in their eyes.
This is a call to arms,
To reach out and to hold
The evacuees from the dark.
This is a call to arms,
To lead anguished souls
To safe harbors of the heart.
Can you see through their disguises?
Can you hear what words won’t tell?
Some are losing faith in Heaven
‘Cause their life’s a living Hell.
Is there anyone to help those
Who have no where else to flee?
For the only arms protecting them
belong to you and me.
This is a call to arms,
To reach out and to hold
The evacuees from the dark.
This is a call to arms,
To lead anguished souls
To safe harbors of the heart.
Can you feel the pleas of the refugees
For safe harbors of the heart?
This is a call to arms,
To reach out and to hold
The evacuees from the dark.
This is a call to arms,
To lead anguished souls
To safe harbors of the heart.
Can you feel the pleas of the refugees
For safe harbors of the heart?
All of the positive, helpful, compassionate things that flow out of conference, and those cute little quick quotes with Apistle picture applies, COULD be applied to the LGBTQI+ community. The problem is that they aren’t and probably never will be. Every time I hear or read something from the Church, I end it with, in my own words, “Unless you are gay…you have a uterus….you are A POC…Then, nevermind. You can play here, but you will never, ever truly belong.”
Jacqueline – Thank you for typing the words here. I’ve been humming the tune for the past few days and could only remember bits of it. Thank you.
The church’s goal is church planting and far reaching. They believe they have done this in this country and I think they have too. I saw a gay man in my ward all the time who was on the council. He was treated with respect and love- in part because he was married to his female best friend and they were raising adopted sons in the LDS manner. While he never discussed his sexual preference with me, it was fairly clear to everyone because of his mannerisms, voice and role as the homemaker. He is still very loved in the community.
I believe the church would also accept gays as celebrate.
As far as accepting the lifestyle, I don’t think it’s gonna happen unless there’s a revelation about it at the top.
The propensity of the LGBT community to make everything about themselves is astounding. It stretches the imagination that you compare the struggle of being gay with the plight of refugees fleeing war rape and murder.
Especially since being gay is no more of a “struggle” than being heterosexual. Unless you are a gay Mormon and have other Mormons tormenting you. Putting up with that nonsense is a struggle, but, as you say, nothing compared to actual refugees.
Tim and Elder Anderson, your statements show you have no clue about the life of gays. Sounds like you have never heard of gays being surrounded by loving Christians and beaten near or to death. Sounds like you have not heard about gays being kicked out of their homes or fired from their jobs by loving Christians. Worse, sounds like you have not heard of loving Mormon parents that kick their gay child, some as young as 12 years old, to survive on the streets as prostitutes and or drug dealers or worse kill themselves. Do you realize one of the greatest fears of a Mormon gay youth is that very thing, of being cut off from their family? Perhaps you have not been privy to the fact that the Mormon church has spent millions of dollars and 1000’s of hours lobbying legislators and citizens to take rights away from gays. Obviously you have not heard or care about the many 100’s of Mormons who have killed themselves after the relentless uncaring statements over the pulpits like, ‘Better dead than gay’ or ‘no gays will be with their eternal families instead being cast to the lowest kingdoms’, and many other statements giving gays little to no hope for life. Now if these don’t qualify as war and harassment on a grand scale against gays, there is not much left…death, suicide, hopelessness, loss of family, loss of relations. May I suggest folks like yourselves get off your Rameumptoms of being so holy and righteous and have true Christ like compassion for those that are suffering.
Srsly. It is like they can’t stand that the spotlight is on anyone else. This talk wasn’t about gays but the only lens they can view the world through is a self centered…but what about me, perspective. Gay marriage is the law of the land. States, businesses and individuals who don’t wholeheartedly embrace homosexuality are branded as bigots and shunned and boycotted. You won. Congrats. It is time to end the pity party. Equating the challenges of being gay in the US to that of a Syrian refugee is appalling. Are there millions of gays living in makeshift camps without running water? Are they drowning by the hundreds fleeing their homes? The challenges that gays face are frankly trival first world problems. “That baker won’t bake me a cake” is not equatable with genocide.
It’s almost as if someone was taking the words of a religious leader and likening them to their own personal experiences…. But that’s not a Mormon thing, right?
MarkAntony,
Please read azprof’s comment and ask yourself if you really think that a kicked-out gay child forced to survive on the streets really has only a first-world problem and does not deserve pity.
I see all of your points and the frustrations in your comments. I understand it all. Yes, some gays have families that don’t agree with their lifestyle. Yes, gays here aren’t being threatened to be thrown off buildings by a dominant group of violent freaks like ISIS.
I understand wanting to help foster more acceptance but all activists these days seemingly want to legislate thought and speech too. Generally, gays in our country are not only tolerated, they are embraced. This group here is proof you can still keep your Mormon beliefs even if not fully attached to a ward. Gays here in the USA can think as they like and live as they line in relative luxery compared to the poverty around the world so yes, to many, it looks as if gay activists are truly pushing the envelope. Sorry if your family shunned you but we can’t control your family. You are all asking the general pop to change the culture your parents are in to affect their beliefs for your plight. The majority simply isn’t as outraged by the plight you paint in our free country. It’s sad, but there’s so much freedom here that, well, it’s not very concerning. The violence against gays in other countries is more concerning, and its packaged with the other violence in their countries against other civilians. The spread of LDS or even other Christianity us a good cure for it.
I should not be surprised by the hateful comments some people made here toward the LGBT community. As always, it is the religous community with their bigotry that loves to stand in the great spacious building and point fingers.
The church has a deplorable record on civil rights regarding race, sexual orientation, and so on.
Time to get the beam out of our eye and practice love.
We sometimes forget the nature of advocacy groups. When you look at the founding of Affirmation, Mama Dragons, ALL, Family Acceptance Project, etc., a common thread emerges. These advocacy groups are usually created by family members of LGBT Mormons, LGBT Mormons themselves, or other people who have worked closely with the LGBT community for years and seen firsthand how the issue can impact people’s lives in a very negative way.
Mothers Against Drunk Driving – formed by a parent who’s daughter was killed by a drunk driver. The group seeks to increase awareness for the dangers of drunk driving, support victims, and prevent underage drinking in the first place.
Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation – started by parents who had a kid with type 1 diabetes. Raises money for research into a cure for diabetes. Also works to create awareness for symptoms of type 1 diabetes (a completely treatable illness that kills undiagnosed kids every year).
Elizabeth Smart Foundation – Based on her own experiences, Elizabeth Smart started this foundation to increase awareness and actively seek to prevent violent and sexual crimes against kids (including internet crimes) and human trafficking.
Common thread? People who’ve seen firsthand the power those issues have to affect people’s lives. I’m sure members of all those groups understand the serious plight of refugees, but that won’t suddenly make the dangers they know about go away. They will still work to increase awareness for their respective causes so that other people might not have to experience the trauma they’ve personally seen or experienced.
This is exactly the type of response that undercuts your effort: calling people hateful if they disagree with you on something is ridiculous. I don’t hate anyone and I doubt other commented do either.
Elder Anderson: “Especially since being gay is no more of a “struggle” than being heterosexual.” Since when?? There’s no Straight-Straight Alliance. Straight kids aren’t generally bullied or threatened for their sexual orientation. Straight kids aren’t kicked out of their homes for coming out about being straight. Your comment doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
I agree that the plight of refugees in terrorist-run countries is dire, and that we should absolutely do all we can to embrace them. As Christians, can’t we also extend the same courtesy and warmth to those in our congregations who are suffering because they are ostracized due to their sexual orientation? Surely we are supposed to succor all, not just those fleeing genocide. I have to think we can both walk and chew gum. These aren’t mutually exclusive activities.
“The spread of LDS … is a good cure for it.”
Wrong. LDS is a solution in search of a problem. As I said, being gay isn’t a “struggle” or a “problem” any more than being heterosexual is. The only problem is religious bigotry and ignorance aimed at gay folks, especially gay children. Those are the underlying *causes* of the violence and emotional abuse gay people face, not a cure.
@hawkgrrl
“Since when.”
I should have been more explicit. I meant being gay isn’t any inherently any more of a problem than being heterosexual. I was responding to the frequent LDS assertion that being gay is some sort of “affliction”, that gay people “struggle with same sex attraction”, that being gay “is a lifestyle choice” (inferior to other “lifestyles”), or that being gay is a choice at all.
Certainly, gay people suffer from discrimination, emotional abuse, and violence from ignorant, bigoted people. This includes LDS parents who abuse their gay children, and toss them into the street. So, in that sense, being gay is problematic, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with being gay. It’s one of many perfectly natural sexual identities on a spectrum.
So here is my beef with this notion that gays are refugees in the church that are equally in need of rescuing as the refugees flooding Europe. As pointed out above, gays today in the US enjoy essentially being a protected class. If you even dare contradict a gay you are hateful, Bruce Springsteen will immediately boycott you and you will be marginalized until you concede. Gays are in every walk of society, they enjoy callings in the church and are anything but marginalized. We live in an era when there is nothing more cool, more progressive than flying your rainbow colors. Yet, for gays in the church in particular they cling to the “I am oppressed” narrative like it is a life preserver. My son who has left the church cites the church’s oppressiveness as the reason for leaving, yet when asked how he personally has been oppressed, by his family, his ward leaders, or anyone in the church, he has nothing but anecdotal stories…a friend of a friend was kicked out of byu for being gay. But his own story is one of acceptance, both at home, school, and church. Nevertheless this “we are refugees” theme is something he clings to and motivates him to ostracize himself from the church. It may have been true years ago, but things are different today. Yet the LGBT community it seems attaches their identity to this feeling that they are outcasts. It just is not true, except in isolated and rare instances. The rainbow flag is waving all over the place. As Elder Kearon said, now that you are in a safe place, come out and help others. Stop obsessing about how you are being put down, because you are not.
Here’s another kind of refugee. Victims of sexual assault who are counseled not to report the crime or who are, themselves, blamed for the attack.
http://www.sltrib.com/news/3770084-155/byu-students-say-victims-of-sexual
“It may have been true years ago but things are different today.”
“Different” isn’t “OK”. The Bretheren talk about “counterfeit families” in General Conference, LDS parents send their gay kids to “reparative therapy” and disown them, being gay is fine… you just can’t have sex or get married, if you are in a gay marriage you’re an automatic apostate, if you’re in a gay marriage your kids can’t be blessed or baptized, and they have to move out and disavow their parents’ marriage when they turn 18. So, no, all is *not* well in Zion.
They aren’t. Perhaps where you live it’s less welcoming but all up and down the West coast is a gay festival. Everywhere I’ve lived, Seattle, Bellingham, San Diego, Palm Desert, gays are welcomed and celebrated by the general public. We see them succeed and often dominate performance art, dance clubs, newspaper columns and restaurants. They openly hold hands in public.
My neighbors embrace the lesbians on the corner. As stated above, my ward welcomed the gay man and he’s a leader on the council.
Wherever you are, wherever things may be different, our country supports gays and their are wards and churches all over that even elevate them. A former church I attended favored them and discriminated against straight people. In a nut shell, they are free to move about the country as they please and find acceptance in many many places. They are protected by the laws if our country. We cannot legislate IR control their own families reaction nor should we try to control the thoughts if others.
I am far more concerned about the plight of albinos in Africa and gays in ISIS controlled areas. I am far more concerned about these ridiculous allowances for co-ed bathrooms where my children and I can be prayed upon by sexual predators. I am far more concerned about people like you assuming I’m calling all transexuals predators, which I am not. I am far more concerned about pedofiles using the bathroom loopholes to get to my kids.
In comparison, by enlarge, your LBGT issues pale. You trying to force others to see the world through your own lens under the guys of tolerance and acceptance of diversity is incredibly hypocritical when you can’t even tolerate the thought if someone else’s who doesn’t see it your way without labelling them haters.
The Church is in a difficult and delicate position. We have been taught that acting on homosexual feelings is wrong. I understand this position. I also know the human desire to form close personal bonds with others. I have faith that these problems will all be worked out in the end. We, as humans, have no understanding of God’s plan. We are expected to sustain our leaders. (After all, they ARE called by revelation, aren’t they?) We must have faith in the Lord, patience with our own weaknesses and shortcomings and understanding that all will be for our good. It IS difficult, but I am trying. I hope others may have the faith necessary to stick with the Lord.
Questioning the timing of LDS revelations and leadership is a mistake to me. HF does everything he does in perfect timing. I think questioning is one thing, but pushing and militant advocacy is wrong. You may be advocating for others to go against God in your supposed compassion.
Jenonator
Are you aware of the several states recently passing discrimination laws against people who are LGBT?
And that many states still allow discrimination in housing and emplyment?
“co-ed bathrooms where my children and I can be prayed upon by sexual predators. I am far more concerned about people like you assuming I’m calling all transexuals predators, which I am not. I am far more concerned about pedofiles using the bathroom loopholes to get to my kids.”
Short of checking everyone’s gender when they come into the bathroom, how will you know if the woman using the stall has female equipment or not? Or if the man using the women’s bathroom has female or male equipment? Your children are far more likely to be preyed upon by a neighbor, uncle, coach, teacher or clergy member than a random encounter with a total stranger.
Eugene Rasband
I, too, believe “God wiil sort it out in the end” which is why I support our LGBT brothers and sisters who form monogamous marriage relationships because they find living a solitary life unbearable. Sometimes, case in point, the priesthood ban, polygamy, we believe we are following “God’s plan” and then change our mind.
(Or God succeeds in changing our minds?)
Lois I realize I likely have sat in a stall next to a gender fluid person multiple times already and I don’t care if I don’t know, but the laws as written now will allow a man to be able to watch my child shower or expose his genetailia to my kid at a local pool. All he has to do now is cite the new law and abuse it. Pedophiles will and I can’t expect the pool staff to do anything about it.
They could just pass laws requiring new construction to have “family” bathrooms with changing tables that anyone can use and it would help dads as well who need a place to help their young children privately. Essentially kill two birds with one stone while protecting everyone.
As far as discriminating in other states, no. I don’t know much about it nor worry much about it because of the protected class status I see along the west coast and East coast. There is are safe choices for them. Moving to find them isn’t the end of the world for every person that does- it’s often the start of a wonderful new chapter in their life.
We operate a business. It’s likely our accountant us gay. We don’t care. What we do care about is anyone flashing their sexual orientation or gender orientation in the workplace where people should simply strive to quietly fit in for the sake of standard business culture. Gays, nor heterosexuals should focus on their sexuality or gender in our office and we wouldn’t tolerate it long. It would make our customers uncomfortable. So I don’t support laws that protect anyone from such ridiculous behaviors in the workplace. I’m sorry if gays just trying to fit in get fired but perhaps they should come to the ciasts if this country where it’s unlikely to be any problem. Same with housing. No one I know cares about their neighbors sexuality unless their not closing their drapes. Passing new laws about it just allows room for abuse so no, I don’t support that if it’s specifically stating LBTG in the law. No one should be a protected class above others.
https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2016/02/17/man-undresses-in-front-of-girls-in-seattle-locker-room-cites-gender-identity-regulation/
It seems to me reading a lot of these comments, that a lot of people are taking a very black and white view of the blog post and of the LGBT plight, regardless of which side of the debate your opinion lies. As I find in regard with a lot of things in life, it seems to me the truth is being lost somewhere in the middle.
I think many of those who’ve commented are missing the point of the post. The post is not saying the LGBT community (whether mormon or otherwise) are more important than those fleeing from the horrors of war. It is just saying that the same principles of love and compassion and service that we were taught in general conference and encouraged to apply to those refugees of war can also be applied and be of help to those in our own midst, in our own communities – in this case specifically the LBGT community. But it can equally be applied to anyone within our midst who is suffering in someway, which includes all of us at one point or another. It is not saying that one person’s suffering or trials are worse or better than another’s.
I am a LGBT mormon. I’m not out publicly, but a few close friends and family know. I have been blessed to have had mostly positive responses – to have had people who are still willing to be my friend and love me anyway. You have no idea how grateful I am for those people. I have been lucky. But doesn’t mean it hasn’t been a challenge for me at times. It doesn’t mean I haven’t felt hurt, confused or really lost and alone at times – I have. And just because my story is relatively positive and people for the most part have treated me well, doesn’t mean that every LGBT mormon’s story is that way. Likewise, just because someone was kicked out of home and forced to live on the street, doesn’t mean that happens to all LGBT mormon’s either. We all have our own experiences, you can’t put everybody in the same box – we don’t fit.
To those who argue that you can’t control how a particular family responds to their LGBT child – it is true you can’t. But you can choose how YOU respond to the LGBT people in your midst. My family are accepting and didn’t disown me, but even so, it is the friends I have at church and their willingness to stick by me and be non-judgemental, their love and compassion, their trust that I will find and make the right choices for me, whether that is within the church or not. It is those people who make the journey a lot easier.
Likewise, we can all choose how we will respond to the refugees from Syria and elsewhere. We can all choose how we will respond to those in our midst who are mentally ill, or divorced solo parents, or struggling with some physical impairment… the list goes on. It isn’t all just about the LGBT community. It is about all of us – our particular challenges may be different, but we all have them. It is about loving our neighbour the best we can. No matter who they are.
Lois
What planet do you live on where you think predators won’t exploit this?
John 6:66 — From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
Even Jesus had refugees fleeing from him.