A topic often under discussion in the bloggernacle is how to navigate marriages when one spouse has a change in belief. If this describes your marriage, please follow the link to participate. Eligibility requirements are below.
https://iu.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6tYdXEwogQ9PKK1
Adam Fisher is a psychology intern at Counseling & Psychological Services at Brigham Young University and will soon be graduating with a Ph.D. in counseling psychology from Indiana University. Following graduation he will be a postdoctoral clinical fellow at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. His research investigates issues around relationships, religion, and sexuality, specifically around how couples adapt to significant post-nuptial changes in one or both partners. One focus of this research is on marital quality among religious couples after one or both partners experience a religious change.
For this study, Adam is investigating marital quality among current and former Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Seventh-day Adventists. Ultimately, he hopes to better understand what makes marriages work (and not work) in these situations.
Eligibility for this study includes:
- 18 or older
- Married (or separated, but not divorced) to one spouse
- Both partners were LDS, Jehovah’s Witness, or Seventh-day Adventist at the time they got married, and subsequently one or both partners has experienced a religious change. This might include having significant doubts, no longer believing in central doctrines of the church, or leaving the church.
The survey takes about 30 minutes to complete.
Wheat & Tares 
The link appears to be broken. I tried clicking on the hyperlink and got an error message. I then tried copying and pasting the link into my browser and go the same error message.
(I forwarded that to wheatmeister, and the link has been fixed)
My wife’s faith transition has made me suicidal. Two things that really mattered to me were temple attendance with her and reading the Book of Mormon as a family. She derailed both.
She also started talking about remarriage if one of us died. She is younger than I.
We finally got to the bottom of the thread. She is already planning on replacing me.
Things I had hoped and dreamed of, like serving missions in retirement are not going to happen.
I have nothing left to live for.
I might as well die now and let her get on to her non-Mormon replacement husband and life.
That is how her faith transition has affected me.
She is fine. Lots of friends and support for her faithlessness.
I think what I have is death.
Wadjet, so painful…I don’t even know what to say, you aren’t alone.
Wadjet. Are there children in this marriage? If so, you have an enormous challenge in front of you. In hfs book “The Road Less Traveled”, Scott Peck makes the valid point that that only the mentally ill try to go it alone, not looking for outside resources or help. Been there. He’s right.
There is always hope. That is the true message of Christ.
@Wadjet – that is rough. I’m sorry to hear. When you say you are suicidal, do you have plans for suicide now? Or just struggling with thoughts without any plans or intention?
I was planning to overdose on tylonal tonight and wake up tomorrow and put my affairs in order before the liver failure killed me.
I’ve decided to trust in Christ instead.
Wadjet, I am so sorry for your pain. I wish you comfort and hope and support and good advice from people wiser than me.
Do either of you have abilities that could be contributed to a secular humanitarian “mission”? Is she an atheist, or are there other religious (or spiritual or even just morally philosophical) writings you could study together? Are there other places you can go together for spiritual renewal (e.g., nature, seminars, retreats, travel, service, artistic performances)? What I guess I’m asking is, what is it about those activities together did you like, and can you find substitutions for them compatible with both of your beliefs? Would this help you get through? I have never been in your position, so I apologize for jumping in and trying to fix things in my ignorance.
Wadjet – Ok – please don’t act on your previous plan. I hope you find both spiritual and mental health. Please talk to someone in real life too.
Do you not have suicide help lines in US or web sites? If not this Australian one might help https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
Alternatively you could see whether you could join your wife in her new life?
Suicide to me is joining her in the only way open to me.
But I’ve decided to focus on Christ for a while instead.
Hi Wadjet – I was thinking about you today and wondering how things were going.