I watched Conference so you don’t have to. Brief or very brief summaries and/or comments on each speaker. My comments are generally in parentheses or, at the end of each session, in italics.

Saturday Morning Session

Pres. Eyring conducting from the seated position but with a firm voice. Music by the Tab Choir.

Pres. Christofferson presents GAs and other leaders for sustaining. Any objections, contact your stake president.

Elder Gong of the Twelve, on temple service. Temple access is a sacred privilege, not a right. Don’t complain about small temples. Interestingly, he stated that those who later in life do not want or simply reject earlier temple sealings or ordinances will not be held to them; they will no longer be in force.

Sister Tamara W. Runia, 1C in YW. The Gospel is not the umbrella, it’s the solid rock we are standing on during the storm. The talk is pushing back against the popular LDS version of the Prosperity Gospel.

Elder Causse of the Twelve, on testimony. He suggests all disciples of Jesus Christ should should bear testimony. Your testimony may be different from mine, which is why you need to bear it and other people need to hear it (the idea seems to be so others can benefit from diversity of testimony, an interesting view — but I’m not sure he knows how much diversity is out there). He says “I know” is an expression of love for our neighbor.

Vai Sikahema, of the Seventy. He is Tongan. He played in the NFL. My kind of GA. He warned against false prophets.

Kevin J. Hathaway, of the Seventy. Pattern: Opposition comes; seek assurance from God; grace arrives; deliverance from afflictions, in God’s good time.

Elder Soares of the Twelve, on fasting. He repeats LDS folk doctrine on fasting and “the law of the fast.” None of it really makes much sense.

Sean Douglas, 2C in Presiding Bishopric. Missionaries, we thank you for your service. Missionary work is a priesthood responsibility. Young men are expected to serve. It’s optional for young women. (It’s puzzling why he goes out of his way to insert this mild put-down of sister missionaries, who are now about half the missionary force.)

Pres. Christofferson of the FP, on gambling. He’s against it. Smartphones have made gambling much more accessible and pervasive. The House always wins; guess who loses? Sports betting is especially enticing to teens and young men. He says gambling is morally wrong; it offers nothing of value and enriches only its purveyors.

Best of Session Award goes to Sister Runia, for pushing back on the Prosperity Gospel. My short summary did not do justice to her talk. Go read it when it is out.

Saturday Afternoon Session

Elder Anderson conducting, music by a choir of singers from northern Utah.

Elder Renlund of the Twelve, on perspective. A biblical literalism reading of Exodus. Don’t get hung up on the little things.

Timothy L. Farnes, Pres. of the YM. Minister with compassion to whomever God places in your path.

Christian C. Chigbundu, of the Seventy. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

Patricio M. Guiffra, of the Seventy. On tithing. You’ve heard it all before.

Jeremiah J. Morgan, of the Seventy. On the Book of Mormon. He grew up Mormon but not LDS.

Hutch U. Fale, yet another Seventy. On … the Family. And Love. “The divine pattern of the family.” (No specifics on who is in or out of compliance with this divine pattern.)

Elder Kearon of the Twelve, on learning to fly. Quick poll: Pink Floyd (“Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies”) or Tom Petty (“Learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings”). Uchtdorf has some competition.

Michael A. Dunn, of the Seventy. A humble brag about running a hundred-mile ultra marathon.

Matthew J. Eyring, of the Seventy. Shares a few more traumatic experiences. (That seems to be the theme of this Conference, sharing traumatic experiences. For some listeners, these are daggers in old wounds.)

Elder Rasband of the Twelve, on those wayward souls who have left the Church, breached their covenants, and made their mothers cry. The Devil pulls loved ones off course. But love them.

Sigh. I have no Best of Session Award for this session. Too many Seventies, not enough Sisters (n=0).

Why all the accounts of death and dying friends and relatives? Such stories elicit a strong emotional response in listeners. Given how much the Church now relies on emotional testimony methods, this is one way to activate/strengthen those testimonies. “Yes, I feel something …”. Maybe you have a different theory. In any case, such accounts seem to be showing up in GA talks more now than in previous years.