I have never seen God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit.
But I can speak to God. He is my father. I picture him much like my earthly father. Like him, I have grown to understand some of how God works and thinks. The relationship is real and deep and one that has developed as I have matured and grown in the Gospel.
I have a different relationship with my brother, Jesus Christ. I know of him as the God of the Old Testament. A God of wrath and judgement. I know of him as a small baby. I feel an affinity with him as one born into this world, growing and learning. I know of him as a grown man teaching the Gospel. I feel close to him as I strive to be like him. I feel close to him as I have learnt of his suffering for me. His atonement makes my relationship with the Saviour so personal and intimate. I know of him as one who suffered and died on the cross. His death, a bittersweet combination of both death and life. His life and mine are now inexorably linked.
My relationship with the Holy Spirit is different again. I have “felt” him throughout my life. In the most intimate moments of my spiritual development, he was there. My spirit and his have spoken. He is with me when no one else is.
I have a distant relationship with Heavenly Mother. I believe she exists. But I don’t really feel her presence. Only a small percentage of our rites, ordinances and teaching allude to her. I don’t know what her role is in my life but I want to get to know her. I’m sure the attributes she possesses can make me a better person. A better husband. A better father. A better friend. Each member of the Godhead displays the same “Godlike” attributes so differently. I wonder how she would display love, mercy and strength.
I yearn for some type of relationship with her now – like I do with God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Like them, I do not anticipate meeting her in this life. The question posed by Eliza Snow creates an uncomfortable tension; of longing on one hand and of glorious hope on the other:
“…Mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?”
Wheat & Tares 
Some suspect the Holy Ghost is our Heavenly Mother. Perhaps you have known her all along.
Lilliput, interesting I had not thought of that.
LDS_Aussie, great article. I agree I would like to know more. I have recently Ben thinking that God as historically male was for the reason that in the beginning when man was developing, what we all needed most was a role model to help us knuckle draggers to become better. Women were already better in my opinion and needed little refinement. Men needed something to aspire to, and a “perfect” male figure was it. A perfect female figure was good as well but more men would look up to a male god than a female god for their improvement. Just basic physiology, I’m not trying to be mysogonistic (sp). That being said, I hope we’re at a place where a Heavenly Mother can and should be exemplified, honored,.looked up to for our improvement as well.
I think your desire is worthy of being expressed to Heavenly Father in prayer. I know you will be blessed for expressing it and desiring experiences that help you come to know Heavenly Mother. I speak from experience. She’s wonderful and loving, and just as involved as HF is in our lives. You just have to tune yourself through the Spirit to feel her presence. I say all this with as much love and respect as I can muster for her.
Scoutmaster: if there were one thing I could change about LDS culture it’s this claptrap about men being knuckle-draggers and women being naturally angelically perfect. STAHP with the pedistalization of women. Just STAHP. We struggle with as much anger, forgiveness, jealousy, selfishness, sin, etc. as the rest of y’all with male anatomy. It demeans yourself and refuses to acknowledge my female humanness when you reduce both genders this way.
LDS_Aussie: have you read the BYU Studies article, “A Mother There?” I read it back when it was gated and you had to pay $2, now that lds.org cites the article from their new essay about Becoming Like God, they’ve made it free to download. Heavenly Mother hasn’t always been so absent….
IDK about HM and the ‘Holy Ghost’ being the same person since we have modern revelation about the nature of the GodHead (D&C 130:22). It would be inconceivable (literally, but this pun is not intended to be irreverent!) for HF, being a Spirit inhabiting a tangible body (e.g., we COULD touch it IF allowed), would not likely have as His Consort a Female Spirit w/o a body. Still, w/o doubt if She exists (yes, the Church prefers to NOT discuss “Her”, but the nature of Eternal Progression as the Church teaches virtually confirms Her existence) then She does exert influence. I can’t imagine our Heavenly Mother being simply the Eternal “Hidden One”, walking two steps behind and one to the right.
Those who would put also our HM on the proverbial pedestal must imagine her courtship process not unlike what Fa Mulan’s family INTENDED for her:
I liked how she ACTUALLY turned out (and “Paw Fa” was well-pleased with his ‘errant’ daughter)
That’s more a bit how I imagine our HM must have ‘grown up’. To be revealed in good time, I guess. Nothing wrong with the desire to know Her.
Been reading a lot of Jung recently. He talks about a man’s anima, and a woman’s animus. These are collective consciousness archetypes that define our spiritual relationship to the opposite sex.
In the case of a man, Jung speaks of four archetype “goddesses” that make up his anima:
Eve: the mother dimension
Helen: the sexual dimension
Mary: the friendship/equality dimension
Sophia: the wisdom/spiritual dimension
I don’t understand it all, but I would say that “heavenly mother” exists in our life, in an extremely intimate way as part of our subconscious and collective consciousness. The LDS church has defined God in very anthropomorphic, masculine terms, but this is not all there is to God. Of course there would have to be a female side to God, or else how could God be said to the beginning and the end, the all in all.
However we choose to anthropomorphize our experience of God, the reality is that the LDS God DOES relate to us through various feminine ethos: tender mercies, forgiveness, nurturing, conscientiousness, wholeness, acceptance, submission, wisdom.
Another interesting thing Jung said is that the feminine ethos seeks wholeness, while the male seeks perfection. You can see in Christ’s phrase, “be ye therefore perfect” which is better translated as “be ye therefore whole,” is actually expressing the feminine version of eternal progression: wholeness. The male divides, separates, seeks perfection. The female unites, brings into the circle of family and wholeness. We can see both sides to God: the two edged sword dividing asunder joint and marrow, and the hen gathering her chicken under her wings.
I’m confused about why Heavenly Mother matters so much, when we are not supposed to teach our YW any female-specific virtues, but all be taught the same, women and men alike? If you genuinely believe that the one-size-fits-all strategy promoted here recently is the best, then Heavenly Mother doesn’t matter since Heavenly Father teaches us enough.
Since the name Elohim is a plural word and points to a plural God I choose to believe when we are commanded to be like God that it means all of the feminine and masculine virtues. Therein lies Christ-like discipleship. Women are to develop ability to lead and govern and men are to develop their nurturing talents. At the same time we acknowledge that every individual is different with unique skills and talents and given a distinct path and mission from God – they are to rely on God to be the best individual they can be as they find and learn to do God’s will in their lives.
Not seeing how that’s so hard to grasp, and why the above makes it so Heavenly Mother doesn’t matter.
Oh, I think Heavenly Mother matters a lot. But I think that if we only promote a lowest-common-denominator version of discipleship, then there is a risk that motherhood takes a backseat to other things an individual might be doing. Since that is the trend in humankind, for a lot of women’s work to be unappreciated, something that feminism consciousness-raising of the 1970s (e.g. Jane O’Reilly’s “The Housewife’s Moment of Truth” which is such a classic it is readily available online). And we may miss out on the chance to emulate Heavenly Mother if we listen only to voices that devalue Her work, which are the loudest voices that I hear around me.
So I appreciate Heavenly Mother and also see value in sometimes recognizing the differences between genders and the unique contribution of women.
I like to imagine there’s another planet out there where in their bizarro universe version of the bloggernacle, everyone is filled with angst at the lack of male divine role models because the matriarchy feels that heavenly father(s) is delicate and has to be protected at all cost.
I know that complimentarians are just terrified if we don’t hammer on motherhood that it will be devalued, like we’re going to “forget” that motherhood is important and just forget to have babies.
Naismith, unlike you when I have been in the workforce over the last 15 years I have never met one non-mormon that scoffed at motherhood or staying at home. They may have expressed disappointment I was leaving the workforce with them to stay at home, but they all understood and were not derogatory in the least. So I don’t get this whole “world doesn’t value motherhood” bit. Most of the workplaces I’ve been in have made big concessions to keep their mothers working (flex hours, etc.) because they valued them and their priorities.
And it’s flabbergasting to me that to preach only Christlike discipleship is “lowest common denominator.” I truly think that’s what we’re doing now – spoon feeding people into what their discipleship MUST look like, instead of allowing them to develop a personal relationship with their Savior and spiritual muscles enough to rely on personal revelation. To me that’s AP Discipleship – it’s so rare and we need more of it.
If you’ll also notice in my last post I included motherhood and fatherhood as very important and distinct roles. Valuing the discipleship of the single and childless doesn’t devalue motherhood – all I’m asking is to value all types. People are allowing so much FEAR to enter into their faith it drives me nuts. When I say fatherhood should be as celebrated as motherhood, and single and childless types of discipleship should be celebrated as much as motherhood . . . how does that demean mothers? Also I don’t mind acknowledging the biological differences between men and women, but for heavens sake lets include a caveat that teaches exceptions exist and that’s ok: many boys are nurturing and many girls aren’t and that’s ok – God wants you to be the best version of who he made you. Again with all of this FEAR if we acknowledge there is overlap in bio differences.
back to the OP: it is hilariously ironic that for a faith that is screaming about nuclear “traditional” two-parent families all day long that we are being spiritually raised by a single father . . . with no “need” of our mother. So is HMother a working mom and he’s our SAHD? Is she off being God to another world? Was it Louie CK that said about her on SNL, “it’s like He’s locked her in the closet or something.”
There are many reasons why we don’t talk about her;
1) folk doctrine that it’s forbidden bc of pedistalization (I again find this hilarious, we believe in a female goddess that can’t handle people calling her names? pffffttt)
2) I think if many leaders voiced their opinions about her we’d have to publicly acknowledge there is gender inequality in our doctrine – that HM is not equal in power to HF or that they believe HF is polygamous and there are many HMs . . . . and that would be women’s eternal destiny; boys = gods, girls = making the spiritual babies. Which is just gross to me. I’d rather they not talk about her if that’s what they think.
“I know that complimentarians are just terrified if we don’t hammer on motherhood”
I wouldn’t presume to speak for all complementarians, but I can say that for me, fear has nothing to do with it. Rather it is wanting honesty and accuracy in describing the possible cost of motherhood vs. fatherhood and the respect due for service that is often done quietly and without fanfare, but not less important. And I know that seeing amazing strong female role models who had spent some years as fulltime mom played a crucial role in helping me to see myself doing that kind of work. So I do not feel that SOME gender-specific instruction is bad.
And I don’t want motherhood “hammered.” I can understand that it may seem like “hammering” to someone who came up through YW and lives in the intermountain west. But for LDS in other parts of the world who hear such things rarely, it may seem like a refreshing breath of clean air.
“…that it will be devalued, like we’re going to “forget” that motherhood is important and just forget to have babies.”
I wouldn’t say that for me I would forget to have babies (although there is a famous cartoon about professional women who forgot). Rather I would say that since my inclinations and early training outside the church were not to have children, I would have pursued different kinds of service if I had not joined the church and come to realize the eternal importance of motherhood.
“Naismith, unlike you when I have been in the workforce over the last 15 years I have never met one non-mormon that scoffed at motherhood or staying at home. They may have expressed disappointment I was leaving the workforce with them to stay at home, but they all understood and were not derogatory in the least. So I don’t get this whole “world doesn’t value motherhood” bit.”
I understand that we all have different experiences, and I am glad yours was so positive. Are yours more typical than mine? I dunno.
Mine was not so positive. Like when I agreed to a part-time position and showed up only to be told that it was full-time and the female boss informed me, “you can thank me later. You’ll find that your family doesn’t need you as much as you thought.” As it happened, those were very hard years for our family, until I could figure out how to untangle myself from her.
And I was at a luncheon for a women’s group when a woman who is a former mother at home and former mayor and former supervisor of elections commented on how she was so happy that her granddaughter got accepted into Pharmacy school “because it is such a great career–when the children are little, you can just work a few shifts a week if you want…” Then she looked around surreptitiously and said, the way older people do when they know they blurted out something inappropriate, “Oh, we aren’t supposed to say that any more, are we? Everyone is supposed to work fulltime now. Sorry.”
And I could tell story after story along those lines.
“Most of the workplaces I’ve been in have made big concessions to keep their mothers working (flex hours, etc.) because they valued them and their priorities.”
Again, I am very happy for you. I have had an ongoing struggle to maintain a part-time professional career.
“And it’s flabbergasting to me that to preach only Christlike discipleship is “lowest common denominator.”
For me, I would never have been able to be a mother at home fulltime without seeing the examples and hearing from amazing women like Sandra Covey and Sydney Reynolds. I read their husbands’ excellent books, but seeing how those women found fulfillment in motherhood and at home, in various ways, was what I needed to make my own life.
Most of what I hear over the pulpit is Christlike discipleship. It’s wonderful stuff, applicable to either gender.
But sometimes I need to see examples of other women. I will welcome further revelation about our Mother in Heaven, and in the meantime I am glad to learn from other wise women who went before me.
“I truly think that’s what we’re doing now – spoon feeding people into what their discipleship MUST look like,”
I guess I don’t see that. We’ve been told that “…each of you is unique. You are different from each other in many ways. [with the caution] Do these differences tempt us to judge one another?” (Monson 2010) and “There is no one perfect way to be a good mother” (Ballard 2008). So I hear plenty of counsel to each find our own way rather than fitting a mold.
“…instead of allowing them to develop a personal relationship with their Savior and spiritual muscles enough to rely on personal revelation. To me that’s AP Discipleship – it’s so rare and we need more of it.”
I actually agree with your goal and that is exactly what I hear and what we teach in Valiant classes in Primary.
#10 – Har dee har har har. ASSUMING such a “bizzaro” world exists with the gender roles flip-flopped, the bloggers therein would likely conclude, as we ought to, that if it were important enough to reveal the existence and nature of the Heavenly (Parent) spouse, (s)he’d have done so. I encountered the same logic from the Navy: if I were SUPPOSED to have a wife, I’d have been issued one.
Back about 1970 was a refrain from Fleetwood Mac (when they were a decent British Progressive rock band and not the soap opera that happened to play, quite off-key, some music that Stevie Nicks turned them into)…”Don’t ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to.”
Of course, the fictional Archie bunker, at about the same time, got a bit more ‘revelation’ that he’d hoped for, thanks to a convenient bottle of hooch that he’d discovered while locked into his cellar:
My beloved Snips, being in one of her snippier moods, once opined that the reason that Adam was created first, THEN Eve, was that you always start with the prototype and learn from your mistakes before your put out the production model.
Kristine A, I’ve gotta disagree with you on one point. There are not many reasons we don’t talk about Heavenly Mother there’s pretty much only one: we know she exists. Period. Everything else is speculation. The only other “official” items from the excellent article you linked is that she is NOT the Holy Ghost and we are NOT supposed to pray to her. It’s hard to talk about someone when we don’t know ANYTHING about them.
Some good discussion.
Kristine A – I did just read the article which was very good.
My point in posting this short “testimony” was to share what ultimately are the expressions on my heart. I don’t know, and don’t particularly care, how this relates to wider feminist thought, doctrinal interconnections or role demarcation. I know she exists and, perhaps like the way that you feel when you miss your mum here on earth, maybe I miss her…I don’t know…
LDS_Aussie, I knew things got off on a tangent from the OP, it was beautifully expressed.
Yes. I think they did…. All good though!!! I’m sure our mother understands…..
(all) – Fear not. Like many things, much about our Heavenly Mother has been withheld for reasons we can but speculate. There is no unrighteousness in desiring to know more; the only ‘wrong’ is if we substitute OUR wisdom for that of our Heavenly Parents and our Elder Brother, Jesus Christ. I find at times that the answer isn’t necessarily ‘Yea’ or ‘Nay’, but “Wait”.