I just spent another glorious week in Eagle Mountain with four of my grand-kids. I wrote about Eagle Mountain last year here.
I was born in Logan Utah, but spent most of my life in Hawaii and California, so while Utah and its unique culture is not totally foreign to me, I’m always amused at things that are perfectly normal for my kids that live in Utah, but seem strange for those from California, even if they are Mormon.
I came up with the following list of items that let me know I’m not in Kansas California anymore.
You know you’re in Utah if:
- On Sunday morning you drive to your LDS church building, passing two other LDS church buildings on the way to get to your assign ward.
- Half the customers in Walmart on Sunday afternoon are dressed in their Sunday best.
- A billboard for a personal injury attorney with the slogan “In a Wreck? Oh My Heck!”
- Gas is $1.50 cheaper
- Sister Missionaries in Smith’s Grocery Store that I mistook for polygamous wives due to their long dresses (they must not have got the pants memo) [1]
- I’m extra tired after a three mile run with my daughter [2]
- You can get really good cookies at a Maverick Gas Station.
- Idaho Spuds candy at Winco
- 4th of July fireworks that will take your head off purchased legally at the grocery store
- LDS themed items at COSTCO
So for you that visit Utah, what comes to your mind?
[1] The Mission President or his wife should make a rule about such long dresses in areas with lots of polygamous households
[2] For every thousand feet of elevation increase above 1,000 feet above sea level, VO2 max max drops by 1.9%. So from my sea level running at home to 5000ft, I’m down almost 10%!
Wheat & Tares 
Correction: Utah grocery stores only sell fireworks that can give you severe burns. You have to drive to Wyoming to get the ones that will remove heads, fingers, eyes, and also start wildfires in dry years.
If you know what the word “wasatch” means. And if the lingerie billboards don’t actually show women.
As you walk through the Mall you overhear conversations peppered with words, such as bishop, ward, Young Women’s, Primary, Gospel Doctrine, missionary, Trek, etc. Although, if you want to experience Utah in California, stay at the “Mormon Coast Villas” in Newport Beach. Translation: Newport Coast Villas by Marriott.
Seen lds theme at Costco in So Cal. Within the last year.
Are you still here? I’m not far from Eagle Mountain.
You’re out for lunch and you notice those around you remind you of Relief Society…
(Including yourself)
……everybody looks similar—not much diversity.
I will revise to say how I know I am in Utah County, because Salt Lake provides some exceptions:
1. Pretty much anywhere you go you will never see a person of color.
2. No matter how hot a summer it is, you will never seeing women wearing sun dresses or men with tank tops. But you will see long cargo shorts on both men and women everywhere.
3. Short sleeve white shirts (with ties of course). Not sure sure I see that anywhere but Utah anymore. And on even young boys. Conversely, much more rare to even see men wearing sports coat and button down shirt without a tie.
4. That there an an enormous number of minivans and large SUVs on every road.
5. At every restaurant there are unusually large number of kids per table and that there are lots of parents who look like they are in their late teens or early twenties who have more than one small children.
6. That restaurants don’t serve alcohol.
7. That there are certain slang words that I would never hear elsewhere .
8. That most people seem to be extremely friendly, maybe overly ambitiously so, but it is still kind of charming in its own way.
9. That there is BYU paraphernalia everywhere.
10. That there are hometown parades for every city in the summer.
Oh man…now I want an Idaho Spuds candy. I forgot those existed!
I could also go for a Maverick cookie …
Good additions 10ac!
I grew up in Utah but have raised my kids near DC. They are very weirded out by the lack of diversity when we visit Utah.
You know you’re in Utah…when descriptions people use to describe others include “member” or “non-member.”
When the streets are all laid out in grids with coordinates for addresses.
When the official name for every city is ” . . . City”. (i.e., Provo City, Manti City, Logan City)
When the people who live there genuinely have no idea that their unique peculiarities are unique to them.
At a wedding, the mother of the bride is pregnant and wearing maternity clothes.
What’s the difference between Utah County and yogurt? Yogurt has a culture.
“4th of July fireworks that will take your head off purchased legally at the grocery store”
Pioneer Day! Bigger fireworks.
I recently received a job offer to work in local government. When I answered the phone he said “This is BROTHER Jones. We’d like to offer you a job . . . “
When there are letters on mountains
When you need chap stick again
When you feel like you’re going to fall into the sky
When there is wilderness within sight of an organ
And when, despite all that, the people drive you nuts
Bonus edition: You know you’ve passed into Idaho (and left Utah) when:
There are still letters on mountains and Spud bars
But no liposuction billboards.
The trout are bigger, the Democrats more rural
But no City Creek Mall
#GemState