Noticing how tired I was one morning for my workout, my personal trainer asked if I drink coffee or tea which he was recommending so I wouldn’t be so tired in the morning [1]. I said no, but I drink Diet Coke. He looked at me like I had just admitted to smoking heroin. I put a note up about this exchange, and instantly got a barrage of comments about why Diet Coke is going to kill you: sodium (not so, it’s only 2% of your daily allowance), sugar (obviously, there’s no sugar in Diet Coke), obesity (!), and lastly aspartame and other artificial sweeteners being poisons your body can’t digest. It’s official; reviling Diet Coke is the new fad.
Before Diet Coke, it was Gluten-free [2] and many restaurants still have a menu identifying what is Gluten-free. If you want to skip out on Gluten, hey, knock yourself out. But Diet Coke as the great evil? My doctor disagrees. As does my friend who is a biology professor. I’m not saying it’s health food, but still.
A few years ago, I was talking to one of the executive assistants at work. She said, “I don’t know how you stay so thin, drinking Diet Coke as you do.” I said, “Uhm, you know it has no calories, right?” So prevalent is the wives’ tale that aspartame will cause you to binge eat sweets that she assumed anyone drinking it would be found face down incoherent in a box of Krispy Kremes in the break room.
Therefore, I present this list of 10 things that will kill you faster than Diet Coke. Crack one open and enjoy.
- Regular Coke
- Funeral potatoes
- Suicide, obviously
- Sporting a muffin top
- Smoking heroin
- Reading this list
- Family reunions
- Working out with a personal trainer
- Old age
- Trying to take away my Diet Coke
Anything you would add to the list, or shall we get into a crazypants discussion about the evils of aspartame and other artificial sweeteners?
Discuss.
[1] The end of my kids’ school year and particularly Early Morning Seminary is the best cure.
[2] Except for those diagnosed with Celiac’s disease, yada yada yada.
Wheat & Tares 
For what it is worth, for some people diet soft drinks provoke insulin release. The studies were interesting, though it came home when a friend of mine with diabetes had to switch to Coke Zero because he was having that result. Apparently some pro-biotics will colonize your gut and they release insulin.
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v486/n7403_supp/full/486S7a.html
Of course the primal artificial sweetener (still legal in Canada) does not seem to have that effect.
Now I have ANOTHER reason to like you. And how about that loser Diet Coke ad campaign that says “Share a Diet Coke with….” Psh! Not gonna happen.
It is the case that there is an increase in obesity in diet soda imbibers. http://time.com/3746047/diet-soda-bad-belly-fat/ Alas, not an old wives tale. My feeling is that you pay your money and you take your chances. Up until church PR clarified the non link between caffeinated sodas and sin it was kind of nice to feel like you were getting away with something but not anymore.
11. Early morning seminary.
12. My driving.
The real killers, along with aspartame laced products, in the American Diet are items we think are healthy but are leading to chronic diabetes in this country:
White Rice:
All the nutrition has been taken out during processing or Enriching.
Pasta:
All the nutrition has been taken out during processing. Enriched is a code word for take out all the fiber and replace with sugar.
Most Breads:
Again, all the nutrition and fiber has been taken out during processing and replaced with sugar.
Potatoes:
Generally nutritious, but over consumed. Peal ans Squeeze a Russett potatoe and you will see how much starch (sugar) is in one! It is not the deep frying that is the problem, it is the starch.
Pancakes/Waffles: Yuck! Pure sugar coated with more sugar! The only thing that is good for you is the butter.
Corn:
Like potatoes, over consumed starch.
Any refreshments served at almost any Mormon gathering (funeral, homecoming, ward party, reunion, ward breakfast, etc) .
Healthy foods are defined in the D&C — WHOLE grains (not bread or pasta of today), fruits and vegetables (as long as you eat the starchy ones in moderation).
Wow, how much sugar do you put in your pancake batter? And how often are you people eating pancakes? And who thinks they’re healthy in the first place?
I’m just going to throw this out there. . . The “Word of Wisdom diet” would be extremely unhealthy for a diabetic. Using grain (carbs) as the staff of life, and fruit (carbs), and only turning to animal products during the winter and famine would kill a diabetic. I’m not saying the word of wisdom diet is unhealthy, but pretending like it would fix the diabetes epidemic is likely incorrect information. Whether you’re eating whole grains and fruit or white bread and candy, carbs shoot up blood sugar. This is why the word of wisdom should be a general guideline that people need to adapt to the needs of their own body.
Some foods are not merely unhealthy. They are evil. Which foods depends on who you ask.
Not proselyting, merely reporting.
After reading this post, I am suddenly craving Krispy Kremes.
I’ve had strange, unexplicable health problems my whole life; by in large I try to skip processed food and I never really much liked soda. I’m in the camp that thinks sugar is public health enemy #1. And I agree with ken – most of our white flour / starches are turned into sugar. And we subsidize sugar production and its inclusion into all our foods. Blech. I’m down with everyone choosing what they eat – I’d just like to be informed with truth in labeling.
Everyone’s free to eat whatever crap they want – I just want it to be an informed, unsubsidized choice. As for me, I just got a spiralizer – doing the zucchini noodle thing this year, guys. Wish me luck 🙂
The first one at 5:30 am on the way to teach early morning seminary, the last one about 9 pm just before bed. Love that diet coke!
EBK, yes. Back before insulin injections I read it had to be treated with a high fat high protein diet.
Good thing i drink diet Pepsi instead, eh? LOL. Mormon foods that are evil? I am surprised no one mentioned Jello. Utah consumes more Jello than any other state in the Union. What nutrients are in Jello? I know that it is supposed to be good for your finger nails. Is that because it is made out of horse hoofs? LOL.
“Jello”
Jello is part of the meat group as it mostly bone. Bones with a lot of sugar, about the worst thing you can eat.
Stephen Marsh: you might want to let your friend know that Coke Zero and Diet Coke are pretty much the same drink. Coke Zero was only created for branding reasons to market to men, who see Diet Coke as a women’s drink. 🙂
Alas, not an old wive’s tale. http://time.com/3746047/diet-soda-bad-belly-fat/ It’s not been the same since the church PR department declared that caffeine did not equal sin. Life, you pay your money and you take your chances.
sorry, didn’t look like it posted.
Diet Coke is a terrestrial drink. Diet Mountain Dew has celestial qualities. Hawkgrrrl (ALC), you have unleashed the food-nazis amongst us. As far as the effect of nutrition on longevity, I look to Winston Churchill, who lived like a pasha, and consumed prodigious quantities of champagne, whiskey, brandy, port, red meat, potatoes, and smoked twenty Havana puros a day. It finally killed him at age 90.
Roger: “you have unleashed the food-nazis amongst us” Mwahaha! My nefarious plot worked!
Debbie, they use different sweeteners.
I’ll see him in a couple weeks though and ask how it is going.
Ken, you must be a real hit at parties. Lighten up, man.
I liked Ken’s contributions, except I’ll take my nutritional advice from nutritionists, not the WoW.
I use (I always like that expression) Diet Dr Pepper, which I believe is the healthy alternative to Diet Coke.
And as we all know, one can not argue with a strongly held belief…..
I have a strongly held belief that playing “chicken” with a Mack truck while driving a 1972 Ford Pinto and drinking regular Dr. Pepper (it is so misunderstood) will kill you much quicker than Drinking Diet Coke. Other than that, I am pretty much agnostic and let everyone alone with their own dietary fantasies.
Glenn
“one can not argue with a strongly held belief” And yet, the Bloggernacle exists.
When I do drink soda it’s usually a Dew, though I’m just not Cola fan. Unless it’s cherry coke. I like that one. While driving cross country, through sad experience we’ve learned that NOT drinking caffeinated sodas is much more dangerous than chugging them along the way. Driven off the road twice due to driver fatigue on freeways. Suffice it to say after the second time we don’t even rely on soda. We pull over. Our guardian angels were fed up with our stupidity, I guess.
“And yet, the Bloggernacle exists”
As does Chicken Pox…..
Another concern is the impact on bones, especially for women. And the culprit is phosphoric acid rather than the caffeine. WebMD says that Dew is the better choice.
http://www.webmd.com/osteoporosis/features/soda-osteoporosis
It should be obvious from its soft radioactive glow that Mt. Dew is the correct choice here.
Look: Naismith and I agree. Apocalypse now 🙂
Each year for lent I give up drinking any soda…just to prove I am the master of my domain (not to be confused with Seinfield episode).
But I will drink any soda, any time. Caffeine free…no prob. Diet…yep. Even banana flavored soda called “Pirate’s Piss” from Rocket Fizz.
Things that will kill you faster…
– a bullet
– jogging long distances regularly
– motorycle riding while drinking Diet Coke.