http://scottfmathews.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/church_lady.jpgMormons dig abstinence.  Like many other highly committed Christians, we abstain from premarital sex.  But, that’s not all; we also abstain from tobacco, alcohol, coffee, tea, profanity, R-rated movies, dating before age 16, fooling around prior to marriage, and shopping on Sundays.  And some even like to add more abstinence on top of that!  I had one college roommate who was determined to share her first ever kiss across the altar with her husband.

Abstinence makes us feel special, like we are “taking up our cross” and “denying ourselves all ungodliness.”  It makes us a “peculiar people” and sets us apart from the world.  It also provides lots of opportunities to feel like a superior outsider and to sit in judgment on hedonists and other indulgers.  Notwithstanding, abstainers tend to have some admirable traits:

  • self-discipline (especially those Opus Dei guys)
  • organization (even OCD one might say)
  • consistency (predictable?)
  • get more done (overachievers!)
  • deeply committed athletes (who don’t take steroids) may be abstainers.  (They write a book or sell a bunch of cheesy rubber bracelets, and we eat that stuff up with a spoon!)

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But indulgers don’t exactly have great things to say about abstainers either.  When’s the last time that the self-disciplined, church-going white-collar guy with the tidy apartment and even tidier life got the girl in a Rom-Com?  No, it’s always the laid back, blue-collar bar owner with a heart of gold and a huge slobbery dog – right?  Indulgers also have some admirable traits:

  • tend to be more open-minded (hence Scientology)
  • less stressed out (perhaps it’s the marijuana brownies)
  • have more fun (play now, pay later)
  • life is an adventure; exploration is valued (no holds barred!)
  • tend to be more artistic & individualistic (wacky even)
  • have more empathy (been there, done that)

Denominational churches are typically set up to reward abstainers; abstainers are highly committed to the church’s rules and regulations and they often end up running the place.  And abstainers often view indulgers as “weak” and self-serving, unable to live to the high standards they themselves embrace.  Indulgers are often turned off by the rigid environment in churches, which further reinforces the disdain of the abstainers.

So, where do you fit?  Discuss.