glurge (GLURJ) n. A sentimental or uplifting story, particularly one delivered via e-mail, that uses inaccurate or fabricated facts; a story that is mawkish or maudlin; the genre consisting of such stories.
Not a day goes by that I do not get some sort of email glurge from a relative, old friend or ward member. Usually, the stories are designed to inspire patriotism, sentimentality for years gone by, or religious devotion. As a missionary, I noted that several of the elders were prone to sharing Mormon glurge in talks, especially since the Spaniards had never heard these threadbare stories imported from the US. This was well before the term “glurge” was coined (and before the internet was even a gleam in Al Gore’s eye). You may have heard some glurge from the pulpit recently.
My favorite glurge-gone-bad story was in an area with a few faithful members, recently converted from Catholicism. One of the elders was giving a talk on the Savior. To illustrate his point, he spoke in the first person about his “brother” who had taught him everything and given so much for him. When he got to the part of the “story” where “they took my older brother and crucified him,” the entire congregation, who were taking every word of his story literally, all quickly and in unison made the sign of the cross as murmurs of “Aye, Dios mio” rippled across the congregation. To this day, if you mention that Elder’s name in that branch, people will say, “Did you hear what they did to his brother? He was murdered, crucified just like Jesus, in cold blood.”
Is glurge good or the root of all evil? Why do people feel compelled to glurge? Here are some reasons I am a glurge-hater:
- It purports to be true, but it isn’t. Can people not tell the difference?
- It is emotionally manipulative.
- Glurge sometimes conceals much darker meanings than the moral overtones suggest (according to Snopes anyway). For example, a boy believes he will die if he agrees to a blood transfusion. Where are the parents here? Did they forget about him in their rush to save their other child?
Another time, I was in Relief Society when the sister teaching recited a well-worn Paul H. Dunn chestnut. This was not long after he had admitted that this story among others was a fabrication. The sister, with tears in her eyes and a shaky voice, testified that the best thing about this story was that it was “all true.” She paused for effect and repeated that statement. My hand shot up (I know, I know, rude), and I politely pointed out that Paul Dunn had admitted that the story was a fabrication, a story he wrote for emotional effect. To my surprise, she looked right through me and simply ignored what I said and kept on testifying of the truthfulness of the story. Never let it be said that some people aren’t courageous in testifying!
While Mormons certainly do not corner the glurge market, religious glurge stories are often retold by different religious groups by changing some of the details. Here are a few examples of glurge you may have heard:
- Teen befriends a new kid at school, unwittingly preventing his planned suicide.
- Child with ailing brother tries to buy a miracle at a pharmacy and meets the doctor who can help him live.
- Boy agrees to transfuse his ailing sister thinking the procedure will kill him.
- Child badly injured in an accident is comforted by “birdies,” his description of angels. This story was originally recorded by Lloyd Glenn, who is LDS; however, the story has since been highjacked by other Christian sects who have taken out the elements related to temple service and made the “birdies” angels vs. departed souls waiting for temple work. As a true story, it is not glurge, but as altered and retold, it qualifies.
- Paul H. Dunn’s story about a serviceman saved by the Book of Mormon in his pocket was a retold glurge from another denomination with a Bible in his pocket. In both cases, the bullet came to rest on a meaningful scriptural passage.
- Patriarchal blessing to a Down’s Syndrome child who then temporarily has his handicap removed following the blessing.
- Japanese pilot converted because he was unable to bomb the Hawaii temple.
- Del Parson’s “red robe” portrait of Jesus was re-done several times based on eye-witness accounts or confirmed accurate by various leaders (or alternately a child whose parents were killed in a car accident).
- LDS Missionaries were miraculously saved from the 9/11 attacks on the WTC.
Even more great examples can be found here.
So, what do you think? Is glurge inspiring and good? Or is it soul-killing evil in inspirational story form? And, have you heard any good (or bad) glurge lately?
Discuss.
**This post was originally written & posted in May 2008. When I posted on Mormon Deepities at BCC, some of the comments reminded me of this, so I decided to revisit this topic.
Wheat & Tares 
What would General Conference or Sunday school be without glurge? Truth isn’t nearly as inspiring.
It may be that I have had a faith crisis in the last few years and found SO many stories that were either completely fabricated or misrepresentations of the whole story, but these “glurges” are quite upsetting to me right now. In fact I have a hard time believing most any such story.
This post reminds me of all the times on my mission I was asked about my “fire proof underwear.”
Also, almost every tithing story I’ve ever heard qualifies. Years ago I worked in a medical billing office. One of the things that we did was go through all the accounts that had a credit balance and figure out why. Many times it was because a patient had overpaid, so we would send them a refund check. I had a coworker who used to call it, “mailing out tithing blessings.”
Another winner, hawgrrl, that speaks to an even deeper issue. These stories used to be called faith-promoting rumors, and I do think that Mormons are taught to value a kind of “truthy” narrative over the actual truth. The practice of glurging, in my opinion, really is closer to soul killing evil in part because these stories, designed to build faith, actually do the opposite: They deceive and sentimentalize, meaning that they build a kind of false/superficial faith in narrative rather than hard-won, tested faith in Jesus Christ. It’s always amazed me that Mormons like to glurge even though our foundational text, the Book of Mormon, is essentially an epic tragedy about the complete failure of anyone, in the end, to embrace Christian morality/ethics. And note that the downfall actually happens faster AFTER Christ comes than before he does. I think tragedy can teach us deep truths about human frailties and tendencies, yet we somehow spin this story into one of hope or joy. It’s quite extraordinary, really. Almost a pathology.
Also, IMHO, one of the most difficult truths to confront and accept is that this world is designed to break our hearts. It’s our job as followers of Christ to not let it. That hard truth seems to be glossed over by this bizarre tendency we have to tell sweet, predictable and “uplifting” stories that ultimately do more harm than good. What about all of the people in the congregation who hear the inspiring tithing stories that EBK mentions and then, after years of paying tithing, can’t afford to retire or send their kids to college? I think these stories have much more potential to sow the seeds of bitterness rather than hope. When I lived in Utah, I encountered a number of people who had left the church because they thought they had been promised “blessings” that never materialized. I’d venture to say that telling false narratives of any kind, religious, political, whatever, is an insidious practice in part because of our own susceptibility to them. And glurging plays into, in fact, depends on that susceptibility.
“our foundational text, the Book of Mormon, is essentially an epic tragedy about the complete failure of anyone, in the end, to embrace Christian morality/ethics. And note that the downfall actually happens faster AFTER Christ comes than before he does.” That’s quite a summary! Lots to think about there.
“Greater Love” was a church movie I saw in the 80s about a sister who donates her blood to her brother and expects to die. The parents are there, but they don’t realize that she thinks she’s sacrificing herself until after the blood draw when she asks, “When do I die?” It always made me cry. I will love it forever.
The most recent example I can think of are the children’s drawings of President Monson with angels on his shoulders from (last?) conference when he seemed to be struggling at the pulpit.
I do think people experience happy coincidences or miracles or what-not from time to time. I suppose the problem with glurge is that the stories are not actually true. As such, I’m not a fan of it, and I feel like the youth should be protected from it. They should have better material on which to build their testimonies.
Addicted to glurge? We need to return week after week to re-fill our batteries with glurge.
Thank you Brother Sky for the way you framed some of the costs of glurge.
I must confess a long-term and ever-present disdain for willfully (aka, they like it that way) ignorant people. They are nearly always narrow-minded (I know what I believe, don’t bother me with the facts or any contrary opinions you evil doubter). We are surrounded by them at church and in society. They are the majority whose predominance is the primary reason why silly, shallow, venal, mean-spirited, and puerile entertainment, religion, and pandering politicians dominate our culture.
However, are we (those with a functioning brain), in the spirit of charity and to be righteous, supposed to be more tolerant or at least benign in regards to them. They are the cult-followers, the Trump/Cruz/Carson/Sanders supporters, the (essentially) blindly faithful for whom Boyd K. Packer famously intoned that “some things that are true aren’t very helpful.” They are the ones for whom Paul wrote (as Trump would say “One Corinthians, 8″):
7 Howbeit there is not in every man that knowledge [THAT PAGAN IDOLS ARE IRRELEVANT]: for some with conscience of the idol unto this hour eat it as a thing offered unto an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled.
8 But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse.
9 But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.
10 For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol’s temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols;
11 And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?
12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ.
13 Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.”
On the other hand, is it because most of us are easily “offended”/weak that the Lord has repeatedly failed (or at least delayed for very long periods of time) to correct (assuming that so-called inspiration actually exists) the racist, sexist, and homophobic natural/cultural tendencies (policies/doctrines) of our LDS leaders. Who, after all, are primarily selected from among the hardest working of these we, the cognoscenti, see as largely clueless. In other words, “you can’t handle the truth.”
Is this a conundrum? Should we seek for truth, or is it better for the good of the masses (the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few) that (as a proxy for all the issues I raised earlier) so many of our brothers and sisters believe and are positively affected by these glurges?
Personally, I don’t think so. I want truth, clarity, objectivity, etc. But I am tormented by the possibility that God wants us to be ignorant and faithfully obedient until we pass through the veil and can “handle” the truth.
The one that I testify is true is that my uncle , during a firefight in Iraq, was hit by a bullet in his chest, but ubelievably was saved as it lodged in 2 Nephi, proving without a shadow of a doubt that even a bullet can’t get through Isaiah!
Brother Sky, I love your comment #4. In particular, I think your point about faith-promoting rumors being actually (potentially) faith destroying because things don’t always work out like in the rumors is absolutely spot on.
Is this why Morman women in my family use stationery intended, I would think, for girls in Middle School?
I think one of the reasons glurge is so popular in Mormonism is that we are taught that when we feel a powerful positive emotion, it is the spirit testifying (this is the main purpose of EFY.) So if I read a story with a happy ending that makes me tear up, that is the spirit testifying to me that the story is true. Even if it is not factually true, if it made me cry, it is spiritually true. And if it is true I must share it with others.
P.S.
More than half of commenters here won’t have the courage to like this comment. However, if you love Jesus, America, and puppies, then you must like it.
Are there really people who base their testimonies on glurges rather than their personal experiences with the Holy Ghost? That’s unsettling to say the least.
BroSky and Fbisti, your comments have built my testimony and i will be sharing them with my family and friends. I cal ‘glurge’ a bad case of ‘the pink and fluffies’. Glurge is better.
My worst experience of this was very recent when the missionaries shared with us an endless video of some poor dear woman who had lost husband and many children to cancer. It just about ripped my heart out as they showed it to my very sick daughter, and we have dying family and friends.It felt so private and intrusive that this poor woman should have to bear witness of her faith in such circumstances. You are right in stating that facing tragedy is the lot of mankind. We shouldn’t have to dress it up in order to maintain someone else’s faith.
I have a niece who doesn’t believe in God bc at church she heard stories of young children praying for lost toys and having it be answered but when she prayed to get her parents back or to end her neglect/abuse/etc none of her prayers were ever answered. So 10 year olds pick up on these things; easy stories often fail during the messy/complex moments when faith would help the most.
Does the Holy Ghost confirm the truthfulness of principles from a known fictious work? Lord of the Rings for example. Is it required that the principle and story be true? Can any event in history be told truthfully without knowing the thoughts and hearts and intent of all involved? Will the Holy Ghost witness correct principles in “fairy tales” told over the pulpit? Personally I say no, but I’ve come to accept that discerning truth in a faith promoting story is difficult to build my testimony on. Personal experience is the best remedy. And some stories do make me review my efforts and relationship with Christ (so that’s good). But I do feel envious (like Nephi) to experience the thing for myself and not rely wholly on the dreams of another.
People still send crap like this to each other via email or post it on FB/Twitter/Social Media?
I thought this stuff died off years ago, after Christianity was officially outlawed in the US.
But seriously, I remember seeing stuff like this maybe 10 years ago, but haven’t seen things like it in a long time, and my mormon social circle is as TBM as you can get.
Weird.
The flip side of Glurge must be the “Purge” – you know (let’s be honest here) the less-than-complete account of how an innocent, admirable person meekly sought answers to their sincere questions in the most humble way possible – only to have the bad (very very BAD) authority figure above them try to ruin their lives through coercion! Deception! Dishonesty! Shame! Without expressing any empathy! at! all!
If you think about it long enough, you might come up with a few “Purge” stories that, just maybe, didn’t reflect the full nuances of the situation, but which are presented with some of the details–how shall we say–glossed over.
Or, to continue to show my prowess in rhyming, consider the “Splurge” genre, which discusses the orgie of happiness than ensues once one leaves Mormonism. Everything-is-AWESOME-when-you’re-out-of-a-cult! No more problems in life! There’s clearly no basis for any religion or faith! And isn’t life grander because of it!
I’ve written before that I think that glurge stories:
(a) do not prepare us for reality when it happens
(b) replace the spirit with pathos
(c) are deeply offensive to the spirit of truth and what we need to learn.
That said, I’ve known some true stories that are so close to glurge as to be things that would make you nervous to repeat them.
And, as PP points out, they cover every genre.
i have personal knowlage of the “Patriarchal blessing to a Down’s Syndrome child” Faith promoting rumor (FPR). It supposedly happened in my Stake as the original story had the stakes name. Our former SP has repudiated it in writing
Silly people:
Don’t y’all know the bullet aimed at the Mormon soldier’s heart always stops in 2 Nephi 12? You know the 14 chapter Isaiah quote?
I am the mother of the boy in the “birdies” story. Lloyd Glenn is my husband and our son Brian was indeed trapped under a garage door, died, and was given a blessing to live and be whole. He told of his journey beyond the veil, referring to the spirits who attended him as “birdies.” They took him to several temples, showing him many “birdies” trapped in a cage waiting to be set free. After his experience with them and his recovery, he went everywhere with us telling total strangers they needed to go to the temple to set the birdies free. He was three years old. About a year after his accident Lloyd spoke in four wards as a high counsel speaker. It was June and several other hc’s were on vacation. The assignment that month was increasing temple attendance. Lloyd talked to the SP about Brian’s experience. After prayer and thoughtful consideration, as well as Brian urging us to tell this message, and under the direction of the SP, Lloyd gave the talk that 4 people asked copies of, who then put it on this new thing called the Internet. In the nearly 23 years since all this happened, there are, remarkably, only two versions of that talk we’ve ever found on the web. One is the full version with the temple message, and the other is the near-death-experience version a professor from a university asked to use in his classes that he claimed he had to remove any temple references. These two versions have spread far and wide accomplishing good things we never would have foreseen.
So this very horrendous, gut-wrenching true experience is not a glurge to our family. What “glurgifies” it is the random passing of it hither and yon without any thought of seeking the Spirit as it goes, nor as its received. That burden falls to each of us as we hear stories or find them in our inbox.
But this story is true. It isn’t a snope, a faith promoting rumor, or a lie. It isn’t embellished, fabricated, or written to tug on people’s emotions. It came from great pain unto death, then a miracle healing, then the delivery of a message from beyond the veil. That message was the very same as Pres. Hunter’s that year that we need to be a temple loving, temple going people. Why my child was chosen to have such an experience I have no clue–we are nobody important and are plain old members. But I cannot stand by and let you classify something truly of God as a glurge. I invite you to read the full talk sometime when you feel close to the Spirit, for it is only then that you will discern its truth and sacredness. Thank you, Gail Glenn
Great comments here. EBK (#12), I think the conflation of the spirit and emotions that you mention is spot on. It’s absolutely insidious if we are indeed not teaching our young people the difference between being moved by emotions and being moved by the spirit. If that’s what’s really happening in EFY, shame on us. Your comment does help explain this strange predilection for happy endings we seem to have.
Tina: Yes, there are many. And you’re right, it is unsettling.
Gail Glenn: As you’ll note in the original post, hawkgrrrl is careful to make the distinction between your husband’s version and the co-opted version and she’s also careful to call only the co-opted version glurge. hawkgrrrl is meticulous like that.
And a larger issue/question: Going back to the original post, I wonder if this whole concept/notion of something being “true” doesn’t require more examination. As Mormons, we seem to think we’ve cornered the market on truth, even though our own leaders often tell us we haven’t. So I wonder if the insistence that something is true is a kind of reflexive, perhaps self-justifying way to continue to reinforce the truth of the church or the gospel as we teach it. If yes, that might help explain the bizarre behavior of the teacher in the Paul H. Dunn example hawkgrrrl
mentions. If a story helps people to the “truth” of our church, even if the story is a lie, then it’s still in a way “true”. At least that’s how some folks seem to think, anyway. And it’s strange how something as big as Truth is often expressed through such narrow, denominationally specific visions. Are Hildegard of Bingen’s visions false and Joseph Smith’s visions true? What about Joan of Arc? Or what about the Sufi mystics or the Buddha’s visions? Just sort of wondering.
Gladwell-style pieces that take some anecdotes and theories, cite a study or two, maybe coin some term of art, tell the reader, “That’s the way people are,” and flatter those readers that they are in the know—they remind me of this “glurging.”
I am not sure where the line is between glurge and a real story that was a powerful spiritual experience.
Yes, if it is intentional and no checking of provenance, I can see that would be glurge.
But I have related things that meant a lot to me, from my own first-hand experience, only to be informed that it didn’t really happen and to be chided for fabrication….
Cuz if it didn’t happen to you, it couldn’t happen to me, or….? Not sure what is going on there.
So an overcaution on glurge can make an unsafe environment for people to share their actual spiritual experiences.
I think glurge can be destructive (though I prefer Stephen Colbert’s term “truthiness”). I wish we would stick to sharing faith-affirming experiences that we have *personally* experienced.
Naismith,
I can see how some real life stories may be interpreted as glurge. Like Gail Glenn’s comment above illustrates. I tend to be more open to believe a story when it happened to the person telling it. As soon as you are relating a story that happened to someone else, it becomes less believable. The other problem is that on the internet, at least half the people commenting are lying (more or less depending on the forum). I’m much more likely to believe someone who I know in real life. I don’t think the internet lends itself the sharing personal spiritual experienced. Unfortunately for many of us it is the only place we have to share. It does make it a bit complicated.
Hmmm. I’m with Naismith on this. There are experiences among my family members, and myself that would probably qualify as glurge if told by other people as a faith-promoting tale, out of context etc. But they nevertheless happened.
I dislike a diet of such tales without provenence, about people I do not know, and will probably never meet, and would agree that it could be harmful. Sharing personal experiences when prompted is one thing, “glurge” is something else…
To continue my thoughts on comment #28, I think it also depends on the person who is relating the story. People interpret life events that happen to them through their own particular lens. Some people are prone to seeing events in their life in “glurgier” ways. For example, when I was a teenager I was in a “close call” traffic situation with a few members of my extended family. We were driving on a two lane highway late at night. Coming the other direction was a large semi truck that seemed to have lost control and was in our lane. A collision seemed inevitable. Before we hit, the driver of our car and the driver of the truck were both able to swerve in such a way that we didn’t collide. That is how I would tell the story.
This is how I’ve heard my grandmother who was in the car as well tell the story: We were driving on a two lane highway late at night. Coming the other direction was a large semi truck that seemed to have lost control and was in our lane. A collision seemed inevitable. I looked up and I saw a man in a white robe in the middle of the road. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, the truck was miraculously behind us and none of us were harmed. The man was gone. It was an angel sent to protect us.
I have thought a lot about this over the years and I have my own theories on the differences in how we experienced that event. But it did make me a little less sure of how to interpret every story my grandma ever told after that.
Gail: What an honor to have you stop by to comment on this. Yes, your story is reported as accurate, but the highjacked versions have alterations to them as mentioned in the OP that render them inaccurate. For example, I saw your family’s story rewritten on a Catholic chat forum using their theological assumptions as the background, not an LDS context. It changed the story substantially, and was used as evidence of the truthfulness of the Catholic experience, when the real story wasn’t even Catholic. Since I had read the original version earlier, I was surprised to hear that it was being touted by another faith with details changed. The altered version qualifies as glurge.
Your example is the best way to combat the scourge of glurge: to publish the names and details of those involved well enough that it’s clear there is a verified source. I suspect your family understood the value of the story (if verified and accurate) which is why you made sure to do so. Most glurge lacks a credible source.
It’s peculiar that some who claim the truthfulness of an inspiring story is inconsequential are the same who claim the church is only true if the Book of Mormon is historically accurate. And then others who claim inspirational stories need to be accurate are often those who do not feel the need to see an ancient origin to the Book of Mormon.
I don’t mind a fictional story being used as an inspirational device, but I would prefer knowing it was a parable or fiction ahead of time. It makes a difference for me in how I process and apply the story to my own life.
#12 EBK:
I think you may be on to something with ‘spiritual truth.’ I know when confronted with some uncomfortable information, my FIL has started in on ‘worldly’ vs. ‘spiritual’ truth. It seems to me that spiritual truth is really just a euphamism for emotion. He has however been insistent that spiritual truth trumps worldly truth every time. (Which leaves my head spinning)
Love this post. Never heard of glurge, but what a great word. Sounds like the sugary sludge that comes out of an Icee machine.
I get these from time to time, and I’ve developed an ear for picking out the fake ones. I guess others have mentioned snopes.com, and there used to be breakthechain.org for debunking. Sometimes just Googling a quoted string from the text turns up some info.
I used to reply to the sender with a snopes.com link. Now I just delete the message. I figure, why harsh the guy’s buzz?
Apropos of nothing… here’s a list of email debunking sites. Scroll down to the comments on the post for some more good uns.
http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/10-things/top-10-sites-to-debunk-internet-hoaxes/
Way too much glurge out there. Most christian?/LDS popular music and literature would qualify. Focus on Dhrist and if a true story, quote the scource.
I really dislike “glurge” for all the reasons so well stated in the post. But Naismithalso raises a really good point: that we should not create an environment where people are scared to share the ways they have seen the hand of God in their own lives, or cause ourselves to be so skeptical that we can’t see his hand in our own lives.
I guess Paul had it right in his letter to the Thessalonians: don’t quench the spirit, and don’t despise prophecy, but at the same time, carefully examine all things, and only hold on to that which is good (that is, which is actually true).
I was in Provo when the 2002 Olympic torch came through. As I remember, three guys — each dressed solidly in red, white, or blue — ran the route with a torch. At first I didn’t realize it was a joke and got quite emotional. When the real torch came by, I could barely see it. I think it was obscured by the Olympic van and all those puffy periwinkle Olympic coats. I felt nothing in connection to the true Olympic torch. That taught me caution in using my emotions to discern, that presentation could stir a stronger reaction than truth.
I love reading fiction, and I feel it’s a useful forum for information, inspiration, and persuasion. I’ve read that our brains internalize the stories we hear like experience. When I teach, I deliberately try to find stories — my own or others’. But I need a source. Viral Facebook posts don’t count. If I am using an account from someone I don’t know personally, I disclose that upfront. Even when telling about my own experience, there is a temptation to omit details that complicate the faith-promotingness of the story, or to over-simplify the happy ending. I fight that tendency. But it makes me wonder how many others don’t.
Here is the Mormon equivalent of SNOPES.
Holy Fetch
http://holyfetch.com/index.html
May of the FPRs in the OP are listed here.
‘Glurge’ is a new term for me, but I like it. It’s much less of a mouthful than ‘inspirational sob story.’