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This week I got a letter in my mailbox. A paper letter! Sent with a stamp! It was from a Jehovah’s Witness who wrote to share an “encouraging thought” with me from the Bible. It was Psalm 37:29: “The righteous will possess the earth, And they will live foerver on it.” The author invited me to participate in a Bible study course.

I threw up in my mouth a little bit and realized that I would SO MUCH RATHER live in a nation of rational people than a nation of righteous people. Don’t get me wrong — there is some overlap between the rational and the righteous, but not at the highest levels of government anymore, nor among the sort of people who send letters to your house to invite you to study the Bible. They’re just a bunch of gullible haters making “Christian” a bad word.

I wrote her back.


Dear [name],

I received your kind letter this week regarding the Bible course that the Jehovah’s Witnesses are offering. I wanted to wish you well in studying the Bible, and my sincerest hope that you will read the Sermon on the Mount, with its words about caring for the poor, sick, and needy, and that you will repent of the sins for which Christ will send you to hell.

As Jesus said, “Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’”

You and other Christians will burn in eternal hellfire for the acts of this Godless government in persecuting immigrants (the ‘stranger’) and letting the poor go hungry and naked so that billionaires can have more money (Trump’s tax cuts).

I write this letter to you on the day that most of the top scientists at the CDC quit because of RFK Jr’s anti-science, anti-vaccine policies. People will die because of your beloved President. Jesus Christ, who spent so much time healing the sick, will surely condemn you and everyone you love to even hotter fires of hell for destroying America’s public health infrastructure. Every child who dies of measles is your responsibility. Every person who dies of covid is your fault. Jesus will weep for them, but you will be cast aside to suffer for all eternity and You Will Deserve It.

No one who has actually read the Bible can be pro-life either, lest you think the abortion ban is worth all the rest of the suffering caused by your vile religion. The only thing Jesus ever said to a pregnant woman is “sucks to be you” (How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! Matthew 24:19). God genuinely does not care if a fetus dies before being born. The only scripture in the entire Bible about the death of a fetus is this one: “If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished according as the woman’s husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. Exodus 21:22.” That’s it. If a man beats a pregnant woman so badly that she miscarries, then he might pay a fine and that’s all.

Your religion has done immeasurable damage to the health and stability of the United States and I hope that, when Trump dies and the Christofascists are kicked to the curb, it marks the beginning of the end of Christianity in America.

I hope you learn from your precious Bible just how much you and your co-religionists have horrified Jesus with your evil politics.

Sincerely,

Janey


I printed it, signed it, put it in an envelope and mailed it back to her. Because most of the time I try to be calm, rational, and respectful. But sometimes you just gotta vent.

  1. Should people who believe in science start sending biology majors door to door to try and convert the “saved through the blood of Jesus” crowd?
  2. If, say, Canada wants to send a Doctors Without Borders team into the USA to offer free vaccines, do you think the Trump administration will let them come?
  3. Remember when America used to send people and money to help provide clean water to rural African villages? Do you think Africa will return the favor someday?