So I’m minding my own business, reading China After Mao: The Rise of a Superpower (2022), when this sentence just jumped off the page to me:
A basic skill in any planned economy was the ability to subvert the master plan. (p. 35)
Subvert here doesn’t mean sabotage or destroy, just maneuver around the plan or system to produce better personal or family or team outcomes. I think that holds true for any top-down management scenario, whether it’s a centrally-planned economy like China, a tightly managed command structure like the US military, or most large corporations. The Church is not as tightly managed as these examples, but it does take on some of the relevant characteristics: centralized management with limited delegation of authority; an obsession with collecting statistics to measure performance and trumpet achievements (albeit by releasing carefully doctored numbers); goals and constant encouragement to hit those targets; and treating dissent from The Plan as something akin to apostasy. Imagine an LDS missionary telling peers and leaders this: “I’m not here to baptize anyone, just do Christian service when the opportunity arises and pray with those who are suffering, kind of like the Good Samaritan.”
So why is subverting the master plan a survival skill in a planned and supervised environment? Usually because the master plan is not workable. It is a wish list of outcomes not based in reality or in reasonably achievable accomplishments. In China under Mao, for example (as the author of my book recounted), the planned economy simply didn’t produce enough food to feed the population. A family could either dodge the system (black market purchases, smuggling food, stealing food) or starve. Harsh choices. Factory managers need to hit assigned production targets, but will turn out shoddy product or even totally non-functional product in order to do so (the numbers measure quantity, not quality, so quality suffers).
Almost every WW2 movie features a scene where the unit supply officer explains how they traded ice cream and beer to the next unit in return for the extra ammo the captain needed for the upcoming mission, or some similar bartered trade. And so forth. It’s how you survive in a planned and managed environment. Here is what you need to grasp about this scenario: Dodging the system is not a defect and it’s not cheating. It’s how people survive in an otherwise unworkable system. So here’s the question: How unworkable is the LDS Church system? If not in totality, at least at times and places. And what do members and local leaders do to make their life better by, here and there, dodging the system? I know you do this. I’ll throw out a few examples and invite readers to add their own observations and experiences.
Sacrament meeting (and other meetings). What percentage of attendees are alert and listening carefully to the speaker? Have you ever looked around? How to dodge the system: Take a nap. Read a book. Pinch the toddler and take him/her out to the foyer to play. Check the news on your smartphone. Watch a football game on your smartphone (seasonal only, and this somehow seems to cross the line).
Second hour. What percentage of sacrament attendees slip out the side door before the second hour meeting begin? Other options: chat with a friend in the hall. Go “help” in the nursery (they have toys there; mine has a little basketball hoop).
Missionaries. The LDS mission environment is much more controlled and statistically driven than regular church. Missionaries engage in some of the same strategies that managers in planned economies do: Exaggerate the numbers. Count conversations as discussions. Engineer questionable baptisms (think baseball baptisms). Focus on quantity with little or no regard for quality. Leave late, come home early, take a mental health day if needed. Many mission rules have been loosened in recent years, which takes some of the stress out of mission life, but I’m sure missionaries still exercise survival skills in these and other ways. The surprisingly large percentage of young LDS missionaries who continue to return home early bears sad witness to how challenging the system is and how important coping skills and survival strategies are in such an environment.
Share your own observations or examples. Remember, these aren’t examples of “cheating” or “breaking the rules,” except in the eyes of the folks at the top who design and manage these unworkable systems and a few zealots who drink the koolaid every day. For the rest of us, it’s just choices we make and the tricks we use in order to make the system more livable.
- How unworkable is the regular LDS Church system for the average member?
- How unworkable is the LDS missionary system for the individual missionaries? Some have great experiences, others don’t.
- I didn’t mention BYU or BYU-I, which for individual students have become more tightly managed and controlled in recent years than in the past.
- The ultimate dodge, of course, is to simply exit the system. That’s tough if you’re in an authoritarian country or the US military. It’s doable but a big step, sometimes a traumatic step, for Mormons. How many of those who exit are simply worn out or fed up with the LDS system, as opposed to the other explanations generally offered (offended; read too much LDS history; crazy LDS politics; have an LGBT family member)?
Wheat & Tares 
I discovered a long time ago that there’s a heavy dose of “The Emperor has no clothes” syndrome in the LDS system. There are so many issues with the system that nobody seems to want to want to talk about that almost everyone shares. Here’s a couple of easy examples:
1. virtually everyone was irritated by the home teaching system in some way…either by having to accommodate the home teachers on the last day of the month or having to go visit people that don’t want to be visited.
2. virtually every temple-attending member knows deep down inside that the whole experience is strange and pretty unsatisfying and pretty inefficient.
3. most members recognize that the correlated lessons are redundant and frankly boring.
4. In the old communist Soviet Union there was a joke that said “we pretend to work and they pretend to pay us”. Reminds me of the LDS missionary program: “We pretend to convert the public to the Gospel and they pretend the Church is growing”.
We could make the list a lot longer. The point is that the system is on autopilot and almost everyone could suggest improvements, but nobody does because everything is directed by HQ in SLC.
It all depends on expectations and needs. If one was raised to value the system and its expectations more than personal needs, emotional maturity, and a healthy system, many things become problematic. Mormonism is a performance-based system that values obedience and punishes those who veer off the covenant path. Shame is quite common and also creates problems with relationships (with self, God, and others). Idealistic standards of perfection and eliminating negative performance deviations seem more important than building up people through grace and unconditional worth. Talking and teaching are not the same as what members experience. Many exit (like me) because they beat themselves up constantly and internalized the shaming messages – ‘unworthy’ cuts to the person and damages. To discount the 90% goodness because one makes developmental mistakes in life harms people. No matter the behavior, leaders should build people up, encourage, give hope, and provide sincere and caring relationships – this is NOT dependent on behavior. This is, sadly, not the case across the board. In a shame-based system, people might need to discount the leaders, some teachings, and many shaming experiences (i.e., worthiness interviews, reading scriptures that are threatening and frightening, not being able to speak in meetings, non-verbal behaviors like shunning, etc.).
How do you dodge traumatic oaths/threats in the temple if you’ve never seen or experienced them? How do you dodge coercive threats of going to Hell for leaving?
How do you dodge spiritual abuse? One thing I’ve seen many helpful members do is to engage in supplementary programs outside the formal church structure (i.e., leadership training, coaching for leaders or members, etc.) that are helpful but also imply that top leaders are not doing enough (or hurting) for members. They will never state the obvious – that their clients were harmed by the system. They won’t touch that sacred cow. Very few will highlight the fact that they are indirectly criticizing leaders for not putting the well-being of members first.
A system that is obsessed with moral obedience and never criticizing leaders is an unhealthy system that is not open to organizational development or effective leadership. Learning is not a value for those in the top 15.
Until truth and honesty, centered in Christ, become the fixed center (not a church or leaders), the system itself will struggle with shaming, blaming, and indicting members. Moral compliance is not spiritual maturity and relationship with God; it’s not emotional health or mental health.
Dodge the unhealthy cultural norms and risk social pressure, abandonment, rejection, labels, and guilt for not measuring up to impossible standards.
You can dodge meetings, and some basic rules, and ignore some teachings, but when you are young and/or vulnerable, you can’t dodge indoctrination, programming for perfection, or abuse of authority.
It all depends on expectations and needs. If one was raised to value the system and its expectations more than personal needs, emotional maturity, and a healthy system, many things become problematic. Mormonism is a performance-based system that values obedience and punishes those who veer off the covenant path. Shame is quite common and also creates problems with relationships (with self, God, and others). Idealistic standards of perfection and eliminating negative performance deviations seem more important than building up people through grace and unconditional worth. Talking and teaching are not the same as what members experience. Many exit (like me) because they beat themselves up constantly and internalized the shaming messages – ‘unworthy’ cuts to the person and damages. To discount the 90% goodness because one makes developmental mistakes in life harms people. No matter the behavior, leaders should build people up, encourage, give hope, and provide sincere and caring relationships – this is NOT dependent on behavior. This is, sadly, not the case across the board. In a shame-based system, people might need to discount the leaders, some teachings, and many shaming experiences (i.e., worthiness interviews, reading scriptures that are threatening and frightening, not being able to speak in meetings, non-verbal behaviors like shunning, etc.).
How do you dodge traumatic oaths/threats in the temple if you’ve never seen or experienced them? How do you dodge coercive threats of going to Hell for leaving?
How do you dodge spiritual abuse? One thing I’ve seen many helpful members do is to engage in supplementary programs outside the formal church structure (i.e., leadership training, coaching for leaders or members, etc.) that are helpful but also imply that top leaders are not doing enough (or hurting) for members. They will never state the obvious – that their clients were harmed by the system. They won’t touch that sacred cow. Very few will highlight the fact that they are indirectly criticizing leaders for not putting the well-being of members first.
A system that is obsessed with moral obedience and never criticizing leaders is an unhealthy system that is not open to organizational development or effective leadership. Learning is not a value for those in the top 15.
Until truth and honesty, centered in Christ, become the fixed center (not a church or leaders), the system itself will struggle with shaming, blaming, and indicting members. Moral compliance is not spiritual maturity and relationship with God; it’s not emotional health or mental health.
Dodge the unhealthy cultural norms and risk social pressure, abandonment, rejection, labels, and guilt for not measuring up to impossible standards.
You can dodge meetings, some basic rules, and ignore some teachings, but when you are young and/or vulnerable, you can’t dodge indoctrination, programming for perfection, or abuse of authority.
Focus on the esoteric elements of the Kingdom. When we get on the high road to eternal life (there’s nothing to “dodge” there–though try as we might) we quickly see that the church has all of the ducks that really matter in a perfect row.
I learned on my mission that “It was easier to get forgiveness than permission.” I think that’s a key point in “subverting the master plan.”
As Josh h mentioned in his four points, there is a great deal of dissatisfaction and adaptation in the church. As for the ultimate dodge of leaving the church, it can be for all the reasons mentioned but it can also be where a person finds greater peace and a closer relationship to the Almighty.
“How many of those who exit are simply worn out or fed up with the LDS system, as opposed to the other explanations generally offered…?’
For me, the more I studied “the system” or the way it is “supposed to work”, the more I realized how “unworkable” it was for me personally. I value in myself gifts of pattern-recognition and thinking – which are not acceptable ways to “perform gender” as a female in the system. So eventually, I just “stopped” wanting to “insert myself into the system”.
My youngest is autistic, and has loathed church for his entire life. Our last ward made no effort to create a primary experience that would accommodate his sensory needs, short of providing a quiet room for him to hang out in. Eventually each member of my family began losing patience with trying to keep him safe and content while also juggling the demands of church activity — not just because it was challenging, but because we got utterly no be gift from participation. No sense of community, no uplifting messages or thought provoking lessons, just a lot of drudgery and requests for our time. When covid came, we never returned.
I bring this up because unlike the example of food in Maoist China that OP offers, we don’t starve if we don’t participate in church activities. For a time we felt called or even compelled to do so, and tried to find ways to make it work. But now we just don’t see it as a requirement for our daily lives, so we don’t have to dodge the system anymore.
Of note, my son is nonverbal but began typing on an ipad about a year ago. Turns out he’s deeply Christian (!) but specifically asked us to find a quieter church service than what the LDS church offers. Ironic, considering our emphasis on “reverence.”
This OP is spot-on. I sat down with my youngest son a few months before he left on his mission and we had what we now call “the church is true BUT” discussion. I told him that mission presidents and lower-level GAs are frequently the enemies of true spirituality and/or good mental health. I explained that true survival in the field (and for the rest of his life in the church) would frequently rest on some subversive behavior and thinking. In other words, keep your covenants, but walk away from the irritations leaders cause. You sustain in their good ideas and actions, not the wrong ones. Take care of your fellow missionaries. Be kind. Refrain from asking for permission. Pray instead. Be a free agent. Use your mind. Never seek leadership callings. If you are not feeling edified or good about something, don’t do it.
My son still recollects this as the best advice of his lifetime.
Serve where you can contribute and it’s mutually beneficial. Volunteer for a calling no one else wants and convince the presidency to let it be your own personal fiefdom. Turn down other callings. Cancel activities during the summer and for Christmas. Six years in and going strong. Never had a co-leader, just a member of the presidency showing up for safety requirements.
I think I’ve been through three bishops? They could release me, but I don’t think anyone else wants the job. 🙂
When I was on my mission I really struggled with many of the stupider rules, and the issue there was that you’re tied to a companion. If her opinion of the rules is that you have to be exactly obedient, regardless of common sense or the well being of others, well, you’re in for conflict, and you probably aren’t going to win that one. I detailed one such relationship in my mission memoir with a companion who was just absolutely wedded to the exactness of the rules in a way that is probably akin to OCD. It was really hard to work with her, and I did start to try to push her buttons to get her to see how ridiculous she was being. I finally did get her to relax a bit, consider other people’s needs, and go with the flow of intuition and common sense, the spirit of the law if not the exactness of the rules, and we eventually got along better, but it was tough. It took three of us working together to get her to chill out and be a human being.
That experience kind of exemplifies my experience in the Church. There are people who are trying to prove their righteousness in a vacuum of obedience and rules without regard to circumstances or other people. They rely on authority to approve of them (or a checklist or model laid out by those they see as authorities) rather than interactions that might lead to personal growth. Nothing in life that is dictated by a script is as worthwhile as what occurs organically. The best movies include some ad libbing.
I’ve done many of the things listed in the OP: counted texts as visiting teaching before it was cool, counted street conversations as “charlas” (discussions), skipped second hour or conversely only gone to second hour (due to a calling), ignored messages from the ward or the missionaries, taught youth classes that were mostly games and snacks, hung out in the nursery with friends eating Nilla Wafers, and read many many enlightening books during sac mtg–some of which were really grounding. Frankly, the fruits that resulted from these things are stronger than the ties of following the program because they are off script and relevant to me.
Church leaders need to fix the missionary program. It needed fixing in Europe when I was there in the 60’s. In this day and age, tracting in the developed world is a waste of time. Asking 18-yr olds to defend LGBTQ discrimination, ignoring the leadership potential of half our members, polygamy, and our historic racial discrimination is a losing proposition. To waste 2 yrs of a young adult’s life borders on being criminal. Let there be service.
On Sacrament meeting you missed doing match records in FamilySearch on your phone. Guilt-free while ignoring the speaker.
I heave a deep sigh and wish I had gotten this memo decades ago. Angela, I was the OCD mission companion obsessed with the rules. I once announced in Relief society that it is disrespectful to refer to garments as “Gs.” I had a 15 year streak of reading the Book of Mormon every day, and a 12-year streak of never missing sacrament meeting. I teared up during a temple recommend interview because the questions were the foundation of my life. I paid tithing when I took money out of my 401(k) for living expenses when I was divorced and unemployed, even though I’d paid tithing on my gross income and so my 401(k) money had already been tithed. I said yes to callings even when they caused me anxiety attacks.
Dave B. is right the system is unworkable. I drove myself into a nervous breakdown with Church perfectionism. My one “dodge” was to daydream through talks and lessons.
My children are the reason I started skipping sacrament meeting, and then skipping church, and then realizing that life is better without church.
@Angela C–FYI, I just forwarded your comment to my daughter who started her foreign mission this year. My daughter’s current companion sounds eerily similar to the companion you mentioned. We’ve also wondered if this companion is suffering from OCD/scrupulosity. Some examples:
1. My daughter and companion went to a member ‘s house for dinner one night. Mission rules are to limit member dinners to one hour. Well, the dinner wasn’t even ready after they’d been there for an hour, so they ended up spending closer to two hours there. The companion was really, really upset about this and said she would need to confess this to the mission president and subsequently did so.
2. My daughter and companion were in the cultural hall for a ward activity. They could see each other fine because its just one big room. The companion chastised my companion for not staying close enough to her so that she could hear what my daughter was saying (this is going beyond what the actual rule states for companions).
3. During street contacting, my daughter’s companion chases people down the street when they’ve clearly expressed no interest and waved the missionaries off because the mission rules are to always be sure to invite everyone you meet to hear a missionary lesson. The people they contact clearly don’t appreciate being chased like this. The companion cares more about following the mission rule than she does about the people she’s trying to contact.
4. Mission rules state that calls to family on P-day should be limited to one hour. When a call went a bit over an hour, my daughter’s companion immediately chastised her for breaking the one hour rule, even though it wasn’t interfering with P-Day plans at all.
5. Immediately upon meeting her companion, the companion compelled my daughter to “pledge” to be exactly obedient while they were together. My daughter said that experience was really weird.
6. When discussing some questions a new member had, my daughter expressed that having doubts is OK, and everyone has them sometimes–we should try to act on the faith that we have. My daughter’s companion chewed her out for not just “bearing her testimony that the Church is true”. Having doubts is not OK for missionaries according to the companion.
7. Companionship study immediately follows personal study in the mornings. My daughter’s companion absolutely insists that my daughter say a closing prayer to end her own personal study before they say an opening prayer together for their companionship study, even though that literally means back to back prayers in the same room.
8. My daughter and her companion were shopping in a store on P-Day. My daughter walked around a corner to look at things there. When they returned to the apartment, the companion insisted on reading the rule on how companions have to stay together with my daughter. My daughter was literally just around the corner from her companion, and her companion knew where she was.
9. A neighboring mission is allowed to use Facebook Messenger to text friends on family on P-Days, but my daughter’s mission is not supposed to do that (mission president discretion, I guess). My daughter mentioned how the neighboring mission can use Facebook Messenger on P-Days, and without batting an eye, the companion just said that “their mission will be blessed more for not using Facebook Messenger” that way. Really?
10. My daughter’s companion isn’t fun to be around much of the time because she lives in constant fear of not exactly following all the mission rules. She’s just constantly stressed about this.
In any case, your struggle as a missionary with that particular companion sounds eerily similar to what my daughter is currently going through (my daughter is most definitely not enjoying life much with this companion). Maybe your comment will help her get through it–at least she’ll know someone else has had to endure living with an “exactly obedient” companion.
Speaking for a friend, even bishops have opportunities to be reasonable:
1.) Use liberal doses of discretion in TR interviews. Allow ‘sometimes’, ‘barley drinks’ and ‘my doctor prescribes Starbucks’ to be valid answers.
2.) Maintain strict confidentiality in certain situations that, in some cases, may warrant church discipline. Only escalate to the SP as a last resort.
3.) Discourage detailed confessions. Use the spirit, not the handbook.
4.) Allow ward members to declare tithing status online.
5.) Invite parents to be present during youth interviews.
6.) Be realistic about missions – no pressure. Respect members who have once in their lifetime opportunities – such as academic/athletic scholarships.
7.) Recognize ‘member burnout’. Honor requests to take sabbaticals from callings.
I’m not sure if this is considered subverting, but it’s definitely part of surviving in an unworkable system: a**kissing. It’s everywhere in the church, and if you want to see it exceptionally thick attend the post-ward conference debrief with the Stake Presidency.
mountainclimber: Wow. I fully agree that your daughter’s companion has got some very serious scrupulosity issues (and sorry, Janey, for what you went through, but thanks for reminding folks where this mindset can lead). My irritating comp wasn’t quite as bad as your daughter’s, at least not with me. She did a few things that drove me bats:
– She watched the clock when it was time to leave in the morning, and even if I had literally just gotten my breakfast and hadn’t started it, she would say “Are you ready?” No, I’m not ready. You know I’m not ready!
– She would sing hymns every day on the 45 minute walk to our area that was through a huge rocky field. This hymn singing filled me with a quiet rage until I finally started belting out “This land is your land” by Arlo Guthrie. She was absolutely shocked that I would sing something that was not a hymn, even though this folk song had no objectionable content. (She would have hated that my first trainee and I sometimes used to sing K.C. and the Sunshine Band’s That’s the Way when we were walking a long stretch).
– She offered to hold hands when we said comp prayer at night, which I declined. She also said she cried a lot because (tearing up) she just loved our Father so much. I suggested she seek counseling. (OK, maybe I was just being a b*tch at this point).
– She drove me so nuts that I begged off sharing a room with her claiming a bad back (there were 4 sisters in our apartment, and the other two knew I was actually giving up the best bed in the place).
– I got the other companionship to do splits to save my sanity, which she apparently felt was outside the rules and “tattled” to the zone leader who pulled me aside to say that I needed approval to do splits. Our DL was standing right there, and I said I had never heard of such a rule, that I needed to call the DL if we wanted to do splits. The DL on the spot said, “I hereby approve any splits you decide to do while you are in my district” and made the sign of the cross.
Fortunately, I was the senior comp by a lot. I did try to accommodate her more normal requests, and I was actually quite hard working so nobody could fault me for that. I was only with her one month, and my next comp was actually the opposite, in both good and bad ways. I had to talk her into working sometimes, but I had a lot easier time making it fun than I did when others made it grueling.
Good topic. No question the middle-management that runs the Church Educational System (CES) and the money-managers that invest the sacred tithe in Babylon’s corporations, are corrupt.
It is ironic that the institution itself drives good saints away. It is ironic that the institution’s Gospel Topics Essays have caused as much damage to testimonies as the infamous CES Letter. The most worthwhile subversion for those who stay is scripture literacy. We can subvert dumbed-down Come Follow Me manuals, as we recognize the behavioral management tactics and psychological manipulation employed by those responsible for feeding the flock. (subtitles and headings explaining how to think and feel about scriptures taken out of context).
The missionary program is little more than a finishing school to help infantilized young men grow up and pledge loyalty to the institution. Return missionaries now undergo a “program” that monitors them, with the hope they will not exit—expected, but really just another stupid idea that does nothing more than surveillance.
Those who leave, I empathize and understand, but I wish you’d stick around to “balance the force from the dark side.”
On my mission in Russia, we weren’t allowed to use lds.org and were never given any reason for it. I think the rule came from the area presidency. I had a Hungarian investigator who had trouble understanding Russian scriptures but we didn’t have a Hungarian Doctrine and Covenants. My trainer literally broke the rules so we could teach an investigator. We could have asked permission to use lds.org, but my trainer said the same thing that Instereo said: “it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.”
Example 1) I’ve always been grateful for the truly numerous Mormons among us who put things into perspective. I’m not talking about dumb dad jokes, but those special folks among us whose satire or witty commentary releases pressure valves without consequence because it’s truly funny. Thank you to all the “George Carlins” of mormondom.
Example 2) Do you ever peel when you pray? I do. And guess what? Parents with kids under 2 often keep their eyes open, play with the baby, and don’t fold their arms.
Example 3) Most if my bishoprics never attended 2nd or 3rd hour. They hung out in the bishop’s office/clerk’s area, even when there were no appointments.Skipping class, like the rest of us.
Example 4) water fountain or bathroom breaks. Seriously- as a full grown adult, can you not wait one hour before going to the drinking fountain? No. Mormons cannot. Are they just ignoring the advice? Yes.
Great post! If I had returned to the system after COVID I would have done so in full-on subversive mode. Shame I’m missing out on that. Never say never though!
Back when I used to go to church, I would come home from church and rant about the talk that actually dissed free agency, dissed the atonement, was anti intellectual, way right wing, or other common Mormon problems. My husband never even heard the comment I was upset about because he was on his phone, playing with the baby in front of him, or making a list of things for next week. I made the mistake of *listening* to the talks in sacrament meetings. So, church made me crazy but he enjoyed it?!?
Thank you Old Man for echoing my thoughts and spiritual survival methods.
I have taught Gospel Doctrine in my ward now for the past year and a half. Old Testament last year, New Testament currently. When my Bishop called me to teach, I told him
I would accept the calling, but that I would lead discussions my way. In 1 /12 years I have quoted our general authorities maybe 3-4 times. I purposely avoid quoting ourselves to attempt the impossible, to help us stop viewing the world as an eminent threat, and see that truth comes from all the beautiful traditions.
Jack: The ducks that the church has in a perfect row are decoys.
Thanks, Dave, for such an interesting post. An example that I don’t think has been cited yet is how people respond when leaders come up with a dramatic new program that will fix everything and probably cause thousands of people to be baptized. This is most common for missionaries, but some area presidencies seem to get bees in their bonnets every so often and feel the need to pass along a new deeply inspired message about how everyone will now be doing XYZ new thing instead of the old ABC version that is so last year. And of course, the subversive response is, rather than taking on a bunch of new work to try out this untested new bunch of nonsense, people just drag their feet in doing it. Oh, they’ll get to it next week, or next month, or they’ll try it when they’re good and ready. And soon enough, the leaders who came up with the program grow disenchanted with it, and they just stop talking about it. Mission accomplished!
Like most missionaries worldwide, we were banned from being alone with a member of the opposite sex. In the tropics where I served, this was easy to work around, because most people just chilled outside on their front patios anyways, so we just taught single women outside where they already were. Since the rule was ostensibly in place to prevent missionaries from getting caught in compromising situations, we naturally figured we were still keeping the spirit of the law, since we were teaching out in the open.
Then the Area Authority came down with a new edict, that this practice was still breaking the mission rules, that we still had to make appointments with single women to return later with a local member. This of course resulted in a lot of failed appointments, frustrated local members, and our numbers dropping.
So within a week or two, what did all of us missionaries do? Ignored the new edict entirely. Went right back to teaching single women outside. Started teaching them inside their homes too, if they preferred. Never told anyone when we did. Didn’t even debate it with each other. The mission president effectively adopted a don’t ask/don’t tell policy when our numbers went back up. One of the strongest converts I baptized was a single mother taught in this way. She’s still active today, so clearly we were “blessed” despite not practicing “perfect obedience” or whatever.
As a young missionary, it was an important lesson on how seriously to take the GAs, whether that AA intended it or not.
I will never forget Super Bowl Sunday, 1994. A few of us wanted to watch the game and we devised a brilliant plan. The best friends (twins) of my girlfriend at the time had a Mother with a Stake RS calling and a Dad who was Stake President. They were out all Sunday as they had those callings and usually got home around dinner. And they had a great living room with a big TV and comfy couches. Church started about an hour and a half before kick off so we would make our presence in Sacrament meeting, sneak out different exits, all convene at my car parked in the very back hidden behind a tool shed and make our escape. We stopped to grab donuts and had a surprisingly long wait. We walked into the house and ran to the back for kickoff and there was the SP, shoes off, tie unloosened on the couch. “What are you doing here?” He barked. After a pause I asked back, “what are YOU doing here?” He then looked at us and said “One of those dounts had better be for me”. It was a great Super Bowl.