Back when I kept a journal, it was a lot easier to find out what I was doing a year ago and if anything significant happened during the year. My journal-keeping fell by the wayside when I fell out of the Church. It turns out that was an obedience thing, not something I actually enjoyed doing, so out it went.
To the best of my recollection, here are the Church-related events from my life this year:
- Getting invited on as a perma-blogger at Wheat & Tares is hands down the biggest and best Church-related even for me this year. I’m thrilled to be here. My file of draft posts keeps getting longer. Writing has always been a way for me to process feelings and priorities. I love the community here and appreciate all the insights and comments.
- Baptist missionaries came to our door and my 16-year-old son told them we were agnostic.
- I had to sit down with my junior-high child and tell him that it’s wrong to harass his friends who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by calling them Mormons when they have specifically asked him not to call them Mormons. I have my issues with RNM banning the word “Mormon,” but if someone asks you not to call them something, you stop.
- I decided alcohol isn’t worth the effort. Did you know alcohol is carbonated? Blech. Apparently, I am hard-wired to obey the Word of Wisdom.
- I’m not angry as much anymore. Oh sure, if the Church does something heinous (that Arizona abuse case), I get angry about that. But the low-level fury at the Church has dissipated. I’ve accepted that I’m always going to be a cultural Mormon. Rather than trying to fight it, I’ll participate on my terms. I am happy to respond to my home teacher’s texts. I trade gardening tips with my visiting teacher. I turn down invitations to Church services and activities. It reminds me a lot of when I got divorced. For a few years, I was hurt and angry, but eventually I accepted that he’s going to be part of my life because we share children, and I can learn to adapt to that. It takes strong boundaries, and taking total responsibility for my self-worth, but it’s doable.
- I met a real-life friend who has also recently quit Church. We met up for several lunches and just talked. It was so great to talk face to face with someone who really understands how I feel.
If you’re interested in a hilarious summary of the Church’s year in review, read this reddit thread.
In connection with Church, what have been the most significant events or attitude shifts for you this year?
Wheat & Tares 
I have 2 and they are quasi-contradictory)
1. I take my 2 girls to the church parties – the ones they would invite non-members to. These are still our friends and I can set boundaries to upsurp/redirect uncomfortable situations.
2. After a conversation with my oldest in September, I realized that even if I were so inclined, what the youth and Sunday School programs offer her is harmful to her development and her morals – so we won’t be able to make them our theology (an it matters for her).
It was a sucky year. Details would seem like I was doxing myself (quite specialized, not common). I’m glad I had my faith crisis years ago, bc dealing with what actually *is* is enough.
Last year I came to realize I disagree with the church’s position on women and the priesthood. This year I studied and learned and became more comfortable with myself as a feminist, within the church. I came to understand more about the fallibility of prophets, in several categories and to share those with my family. I have come to understand Heavenly Mother better.
Overall I have adjusted and become more comfortable with myself within my ward, while being open about my less traditional beliefs. It took time and courage and opennness on my part, and I am happy that my ward members have been accepting towards me. I was fearful and uncomfortable and paranoid and unsure for some time. But as they have responded in an accepting manner and encouraged my participation I have become more comfortable.
Right now I am hopeful about continuing to create space in my community for broader and more inclusive views of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the family. My children and husband have spoken at church on the fallibility of prophets. I have spoken on boundaries and personal revelation vs general counsel and received an enormous amount of support for my comments. I am hopeful to continue to support change in the church. I love my church community.
In a pensive mood so I have been journaling the key dates in my faith journey including important books I have read (Arrington/Prince) and concerns i.e. when I realized that Pres Monson was recycling his talks. I listened to a lot of non-correlated podcasts in Q4 of 2022 so I have been processing a lot of info.
We had a Utah regional conference sometime 2013-2015 and I later found online the exact and earlier talk Monson had given us – really dismayed because I thought it was going to be a virtual King Benjamin-like experience.
Chet, I guess I’m veering off topic a little bit but your point about President Monson’s recycled tallks was similar to one of the issues I experienced. I realized that many of President Monson’s quotes did not originate with him but (still!) have not been attributed to their proper authors in the written versions of his talks. I’m willing to give some leeway but it was fairly pervasive and given the size of the institution, the church’s resources, and the reach of his talks, it leaves me feeling uncomfortable that the real authors are being robbed of the credit for their work.