There has been a lot about sexual misconduct in the news. The Catholic sex slave story. The co-founder of Sundance story. Others.
There have been several interwoven threads, and they came up in a discussion about someone I know who was convicted of a sex crime more than thirty years ago and whose home ward has never forgiven them.
Should it matter what the crime was or what the circumstances were?
Should it matter that from a wild summer as an eighteen year-old they have now matured, with a family, a job and a security clearance?
I’ve wondered, ever since I officed down the hall from a therapist and was assigned as an attorney ad litem in a difficult procedural case (I was pulled in to deal with the overlapping res judicata and collateral estoppel issues and a court of appeals decision that the presiding court couldn’t make sense of).
That experience eventually led to my serving on the board of a child advocacy center, doing a fair amount of pro bono work and serving on the board of a rape crisis center. I’ve paid out of my own pocket for therapy for victims.
But almost thirty years ago, I and the therapist down the hall had a serious talk about whether or not any redemption was possible for the sex criminals she dealt with (she was court assigned to some criminals and many victims). I was intent on protecting their victims but I wondered what could be done for them.
In general, she felt that only those who immediately confronted the evil of what they had done had a chance of breaking free of it. That is, if a person confesses what they did to the police and faces the consequences without any attempt to cover it up or minimize what they had done, then they had a chance.
They also rigorously avoid the chance of a relapse and accept consequences and restrictions. In Europe sex offenders often choose [chemical] castration and more than 85% report an increased quality of life as a result as they no longer feel a drive to do things they find and acknowledge as abhorrent.
Otherwise, all you have is an invitation to do more and worse things. Minimizing things encourages repetition (just as exaggerating things encourages other issues).
Do people deserve redemption? I think the relief society president who had engaged in some prostitution the summer she moved away from home and into a new job more than deserved it.
After all, redemption is why Christ came into the world and took up the cross.
Others?
What do you think?
Who deserves redemption? On what terms?
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Images from Wikimedia Commons.
Wheat & Tares 
I’m not sure redemption is “deserved” by anyone.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only-begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Redemption may be an incorrect word in this post. However, who gets another chance or their deeds forgotten all depends on the individual facts and circumstances. Very difficult to work through everything involved, but I would agree that consequences must be faced head on by the offender if they hope to rid themselves of the offending behaviors.
Forgiveness by all mortals yes…Trust…well that is a different note and I think it is generally up to the person who offended. In this life will there be trust for all who have offended probably not. The adult male converts from the Sons of Mosiah could probably teach us more about redemption.
I think that I can offer a compelling argument that ultimately ALL of Adams seed will not only be redeemed by Christ but will be exalted. That is what both Joseph and BY taught. It is really a question about how long this process will take . As Joseph taught it will be Long time after we pass through the veil before we reach the point of doing what the Savior did ie laying down our life and taking it up again.But the reason we shouted for joy when the plan of redemption was presented is because we realized we could all not only be redeemed but exalted.See King Follet discourse and the sermon in the grove. That is why we must go “from exaltation to exaltation” before we reach the point that not only Christ did but his Father before him did as did our Father ‘s father. This is the essence of the Gospel and is what Joseph and the scriptures taught. On a more mundane level.I have for years worked with sexual offenders in the Az State prision system. The ones I work with are nonviolent child molesters and ones guilty of statutory rape and possesion of child porn . Some are truly repentant and broken heart and contrite. Those men are among the best ,most spiritually in tune men I have even known. I am very sure their reward in the eternities will vastly excede my own and that of most church leaders I know. Others are not repentant and their situation is truly terrible.In our case however it is required that we forgive all men.
It is really hard to know what to do in these kinds of situations. There is a part of me that hears what someone has done, and all I want is for them to burn. My first instinct is that they deserve every horrible thing coming to them, and that they should be cast out of society forever. Do not hire them. Do not befriend them. They deserve it.
But then empathy and reason both start to set in. Yes, there are some crimes for which people must be cast out of society forever, which is why lifetime prison sentences exist (and capital punishment, in extremely rare circumstances). If we judge something to be unworthy of a life sentence, then we need to welcome that person back into society, which means giving them a chance when we can, and letting them prove their contrition and rehabilitation.
Having said that, trust is something that may not always be earned back. As far as churches are concerned, any repentant member should be welcomed back as a member, but some acts may mean that member forever forfeits the possibility of, for example, serving in leadership or working with children.
If a man was an alcoholic and became sober for a few months, it would not be part of forgiveness to take him out in the woods to your own private whiskey still and entice him into taking a sip of that “white lightening.” Tempting someone who has repented is not part of forgiveness.
Each of these transgressions has a different prognosis or likelihood to be repeated. Some sins are more easily repented from than other. Killing your mother is hard to repeat, you can’t do that twice, although killing someone else would be likely. Sexual abuse of children requires a mind so twisted away from normal instincts and social behavior that it may never become untwisted completely. Recidivism for this problem is in the high 90% range. Repenting from that would include elimination of any opportunity to repeat it.
We can forgive a person and yet still insist they not be put into circumstances where they are likely to repeat the offense. That might include everywhere except in solitary confinement. We don’t have to guess at this as much as in the past because quite a bit of research sheds valuable light on these questions.
Forgiveness does not have to be done immediately. Never should a victim be told when they should forgive. They may need a long time to get to that point and it may not happen in this life. I am supposed to be on track to forgive everyone, but I don’t think that includes facilitating and enabling them to continue to sin against me if it can be avoided.
I don’t have any redemption to hand out. Maybe when my children were little, I had some petty redemptiveness with them. Who gets redemption is entirely a speculative exercise because the Lord Almighty is going to forgive whom He forgives.
Jesus was very clear about what should happen to those who cause harm to children (drown them in the sea with a millstone around the neck). I don’t have a shred of sympathy for sex offenders, particularly child sex offenders. A large component of the ongoing abuse scandals in churches (both Catholic and LDS) is that the institutions were far too generous with mercy and forgiveness for the abusers, to the point that they willfully covered up the crimes, failed to report them to authorities or otherwise handled them badly at the expense of safety for potential future victims. I don’t believe they should be able to receive redemption in this life, except perhaps through blood atonement. They will have to work out their own salvation directly with God, but they shouldn’t be allowed to do it in my Church. Not where my family worships.
Some would argue that child sex abuse is even worse than murder, as murder victims are released from suffering through death, while sexual abuse survivors have to deal with the trauma for the rest of their lives.
Mike, sorry it took me so long to get your comment out of pending, but I was held over just a little late.
BTW, to all, this is a discussion of the meaning of “little ones” https://christianity.stackexchange.com/questions/9375/who-are-the-little-ones-in-luke-172