I will probably regret posting about the election, but here goes.

There are a lot of election posts / threads right now, but decided to share what I’ve been talking to my kids about to help them put this result into context and not feel so hopeless and hurt.

Let me preface with the following:

(1) I can’t stand Trump, I too am hurt that so many Americans are willing to vote for him and would sooner elect a felon than a black woman and would sooner give Trump nuclear codes than women the ability to choose whether and when to have children. I donated more money than I’ve ever donated to political campaigns to Harris, I think Trump is incredibly dangerous and authoritarian and a threat to democracy, not a good leader, does not have good policy ideas, and mean and a bully. So please don’t take any of the below as softening on that stance.

(2) These are thoughts I am sharing with my rich, white kids. I would not interrupt someone’s grief with this because I’m not trying to explain anything away, particularly someone who is at higher personal risk from Trumpism than my family is. If you are still really hurting, and you are not emotionally ready to read some thoughts about why the fact that more than half of American voters voted for Trump doesn’t mean more than half of Americans are racist sexist homophobic transphobic idiotic bullies like Trump himself is, don’t read this yet.

Having said that, the below is what I have to believe in order to keep functioning and not despise half of the US voters including many friends and neighbors. I also happen to believe the below is somewhat factually accurate, although acknowledge that sometimes I will believe anything to survive (just like everyone else) and I’m not trying to bury my head in the sand. Also, these are just my thoughts and observations. There are probably a lot of people giving more thoughtful analysis on this, but alas. These are the conversations I’m having with my kids.

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I talked to more Trump voters leading up to this election than in the past–including a number who did not vote for him in 2016 or 2020, but did this time. That someone wouldn’t vote for him until now is completely shocking to me, since his refusal to accept the results of the 2020 election & refusal to condemn the attack on the capitol are to me among his most disqualifying, treasonous acts and I thought surely would spell the end of his political viability. Nevertheless, there quite clearly is a crowd who voted for him for the first time this year and here is what I’ve learned about that.

(a) Many (maybe most) people who voted for Trump do not think he is a good person, are concerned about his authoritarian tendencies, and think he is mean. They did not vote for him because they like or approve of his character. They decided that it didn’t matter. I can dispute whether or not I think that’s a valid basis for judgment, but that is the reality. I disagree strongly that someone should vote for Trump despite all his flaws because they like his policy better–I think that’s a poor value choice, and not super logical because I don’t think Harris would have been able to radically shift policy especially given a Republican legislature. But, whatever I think of that weighing decision, I don’ t get to impute to Trump voters all of his flaws and beliefs and mean statements–that’s simply not fair or accurate.

(b) Many people who voted for Trump did so because, whether or not this is fair or rational, they feel they are worse off financially than they were four years ago. Again — is the economy really that worse? Maybe not. Is inflation Biden’s fault? Definitely not. Is Trump going to make things better? Probably not. But those are disagreements about cause, and effect, and policy. They don’t invalidate that this is truly how people feel, and a very significant motivator to how they voted. This was the biggest concern I had about Harris’s candidacy: that too many people feel economically worse off than they did before, and that she didn’t do enough to convince them she was the answer (I am not sure any other candidate could have, because they are largely voting out an administration, and she is still in that administration). As we heard in the 90’s, “It’s the economy, stupid.” Perceived or real it doesn’t matter because perception is reality.

(c) The business environment has been difficult the last four years. Much of that was not Biden’s fault, some of it is Trump’s fault, most of it is larger macroeconomic forces at play. But. Real talk. Regulatory agencies have, in my even left-leaning view, lost the plot. As part of my job I have noticed a substantial uptick in SEC, FCC, and FTC regulatory and enforcement activity to a point that I think they have lost sight of who they are trying to protect and are more interested in tallying up the number of prosecutions they initiate or deals they block or regulations they put out. Companies are spending too much money hiring outside counsel and putting compliance programs in place that I think will do next to nothing to actually protect any consumers, and that money is money they could be spending employing people to build things and serve customers. OK, I am showing my bias a little bit here, but it has been markedly changed in the last four years, and that is also going to impact how people vote. Because they want a change in regimes to make the business environment less difficult. Of course, there are many who argue that businesses just want to take advantage of people and we should regulate heavily, I get that, I’m just saying, that’s a legitimate policy disagreement with arguments on both sides that is fueling some of the support for a change in regime.

(I think this also suggests that the executive branch has gotten a wee bit too powerful and legislature-ish if an administration change makes SO MUCH difference to people. It’s not supposed to make that big a difference. If it does, again, our problems are bigger than Trump. But that’s an entirely separate topic about the role of the executive branch of government.)

(d) The cataclysmic fatalism on both sides is problematic. In and around the election I heard people on the left claim:

-Musk got involved because he is going to destroy the United States economy to move everything from the dollar to cryptocurrency (Heather Richardson Cox, who honestly I used to like but had to stop following because she was getting borderline “BlueAnon”, a term my kiddo told me about).
-You better enjoy your vote because this may be the last time you ever vote (Oprah)
-Trump will be president for forever now because he’ll never leave office (multiple sources).
-JD Vance wants to legalize slavery (Meg Conley, a writer I also used to enjoy but I felt got way, way extreme here–yes there is nuance to her argument, but this was the headline).

Etc.

Of course the right has their own cataclysmic conspiracy theory ridiculous story about socialism, kids getting gender reassignment at school, etc. etc. too, but I was talking to my leftist kiddo, so that wasn’t the point of the conversation.

Look – I do worry, tremendously, about the integrity of democratic institutions. I think it’s a real threat, and we should watch it, and not bury heads in the sand. But if our institutions are going to fall apart because of the election of one president, then the problems are way, way deeper that just Trump. We need to tone down the fearmongering, the conspiracy theories, and the fatalism. I just personally don’t think it’s productive or good for anyone’s mental health or relationships.

(e) My kids’ lives are not going to change that much in the next four years no matter who is in the office. The worst thing for them about things today is the obnoxious MAGA kids at school and the hateful speech and the culture wars. That wasn’t going to go away if Harris won. Again, my kids are white and privileged. I realize that for some people they may see a real threat to their livelihood. And I appreciate that my kids to care about those people. But my kids are legitimately scared for themselves, and I don’t think they need to do, or that it’s doing their mental health any favors.

Guess what impacts our day to day more than Trump being in office? Our city council and our school board. Who in my neighborhood or family can name a single city council member or school board member? Well, I can, but that’s because in 2016 I realized that stressing out too much over national politics — where my voice is very, very inconsequential and the impact to my actual day-to-day was also actually not that huge — was not healthy, and that focusing more locally where my voice is quite a bit more consequential and where the impacts are quite a bit more immediate was going to be better for my mental health and well being. And it has been. Again – that’s not a bury your head in the sand thing. But it is a being realistic about life & keeping things in perspective thing.

Even for things I care deeply about, like reproductive rights, guess what? Harris was probably not going to fix that. Don’t kid yourselves. We were not going to get a democrat supermajority in Congress and the Senate to create federal abortion rights. The SCOTUS is already a huge super conservative majority, so that ship has sailed and I don’t see this administration making a big difference to the Court’s composition. This is going to be a state issue for the foreseeable future, so if you want to change things, you’ve got to work at the state level (and donate to and work with organizations like Planned Parenthood, etc.). That would in all likelihood have been the case with a Harris win.

(f) As for the true believers, who love Trump, who love MAGA, the whole nine yards–well, I think that’s a full-on cult and reflective of a populist movement that, like other populist movements, is made up of people who feel disenfranchised by “the system”, who feel looked down upon by mainstream liberals and even mainstream conservatives, and who like to see someone say the quiet part out loud without regard for political correctness or any of the other petty grievances they have. Do I like this? No. Do I think it is super weird that these people love Trump because he is a rich privileged guy who does not give a damn about poor people? Yes. But is it a pattern that we see play out historically both in US history and, currently, in Europe? Yes. It is part of a larger historical and cultural picture. That doesn’t make it easier, but I think context matters. This is a moment in time. There have been and will be other moments in history. It hasn’t always been like this and I have hope that it won’t always be like this. The MAGA folks can be obnoxious, and loud, and my kid felt really upset about the MAGA hats he saw in school. But he saw two of them. Out of thousands of students. We need to put things into perspective.

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Anyway. I’m not a political scientist or a pundit or trying to explain everything about an election. I’m sure there are a lot of articles explaining the vote and why who voted how. This is just my experience in observing my community this cycle. And in any event, right now I’m just a mom who is trying to comfort kids who truly felt like half of America must be awful people. Half of America is not awful people, and thinking that and treating people that way is doing us no favors.

Love your neighbor.