I was not going to go there, but I changed my mind.[1] The assassination attempt on Saturday happened while I was in a movie (Fly Me to the Moon, not bad, and the costumes were pitch perfect). My husband leaned over and said someone took a shot at Trump during a rally. My first thought was “Holy crap.” I grew up in the 80s and remember well when Reagan was shot. I’ve always held the thought in the back of my mind that being a politician is dangerous, and that running for office means you kind of know you might get shot by some wacko trying to impress Charles Manson or Jodie Foster (who is a lesbian, so read the room buddy). Over the last 8 years, even being a poll worker or married to a politician is also dangerous. We live in a heated moment.

Pretty quickly, the commentary about this event went from Kumbaya to WTF. I was actually somewhat touched by the fact that Biden and Trump spoke on the phone, and that Biden’s remarks in the immediate aftermath were pretty solid, although I still think he sounds like he plans to dodder his way into a lost election which doesn’t thrill me. Trump’s initial remarks were also not bad, and I understand that he toned down his speech for the RNC (apparently Vance didn’t get that memo). Since then, well, things are quickly slinking back into the usual rat-infested partisan corners. I doubt the detente will be long-lived. I’m also not convinced that this event will ultimately swing the electoral vote. Our attention spans aren’t that long, and more crazy stuff is bound to happen on the next episode of the US 2024 Presidential Election.

But I did endure a litany of trash takes about this event, and so that’s what I would love to talk about today, rating each on a scale of 1-10 (1 being eh, not that trashy, and 10 being STFU trashy).

Trump is a Hero. There were quite a few MAGAts on Twitter who said “Trump took a bullet for this country, and if you don’t vote for him you are a traitor.” Mmm ‘kay. Slow your roll there, Marjorie Taylor Greene. First of all, Trump’s ear was grazed which is honestly a terrifying thought. That’s like an inch from the old noggin. And he did quickly realize that he was fine and pivot to maximizing the moment with a raised fist and shouts of “Fight Fight Fight.” Baller move, and damn that photo deserves a Pulitzer. The phrase “he took a bullet for…” usually refers to someone in the military or maybe the police who took a bullet to protect another person. In this case, he was the target, and he wasn’t protecting anyone else. Only a seriously gone MAGA person would think that Trump is somehow protecting other people by being in this race. Trump is Trump’s priority. Getting some of his followers to see that is apparently asking too much. Take-trashiness score: 5 of 10. It’s not going to convince anyone who wasn’t already in the bag probably, but props to Trump for resilience and seizing the moment.

You Missed. This take is honestly disgusting to me and beneath dignifying with further discussion. It’s completely gross to wish violence or death on another human being. Unacceptable. Plus, there were two humans killed in the process (the shooter, who was a mere kid, and a fire fighter) and two others hospitalized. Trashiness: 11 out of 10.

FAFO [2]. This is a take, mostly from the left and the never Trumpers on the right, pointing out that Trump’s own rhetoric is to blame, aka he brought this on himself. While I agree that he’s hugely guilty of employing violent rhetoric (far more than any other conservative prior to his reign and far more than anyone on the left), again, that doesn’t mean anyone has the right to shoot at him, even if he did mock Paul Pelosi for being hit in the head with a hammer. It sounds a lot like victim-blaming, even though he also was a bully to others who bragged he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and who literally took out an ad to have 5 innocent black men put to death. Trashiness: 4 out of 10. I for sure privately thought this when I heard the news, and so yes, I’m admitting to being 40% trashy. I assume we all already knew that.

Glass v. Bullet. This take is that he wasn’t hit by a bullet, just by a shard of glass from the teleprompter that was hit. I don’t know that this is totally known yet (I’m sure it will be eventually), but to me this is a difference without a distinction. The injury is minor in either case, but the peril was equally grave. Trashiness: I’ll be the Aunt Linda on this one and say “Huh??” and “Gaack! If your ear is hit, your ear is hit, and a guy right behind him was killed. The danger was still just as real.[3]

Biden Ordered It. J.D. Vance literally called for Biden to be arrested and charged for Trump being shot at, so for this trash take, I’m going to limit it to the conspiratorial version in which Biden, whom the current conservative SCOTUS just declared would be immune from prosecution for doing it, called in a hit on Trump. Trash level: 10 out of 10, but I’ll move it down to an 8 out of 10 since apparently Biden is immune, so what’s the big deal, amiright, fellas?

God Protected Trump. Where was God during all the mass shooting of schoolkids? Where was He when Trump was assaulting E. Jean Carroll? This is just one of those ridiculous things that religious people are claiming to imply that you must vote for Trump because he’s clearly the savior of mankind. They are claiming that Trump was preserved so that he will lead the nation once again as God’s warrior, and blah blah blah. I particularly appreciated one Tweet clapping back that if Trump were really God’s ordained leader, he would have actually been shot dead and then come back after three days. OK, maybe that reply was a bit extra, but also get real weirdos. Trump is no savior. Trashiness of the take: I’m going with a 9 out of 10 for blasphemy and logical fallacies. These guys are dumb (and unfortunately, this was also something Tweeted by actual Mormons), but they still get one vote, just like me.

Trump Stunt. This take is the conspiracy theory (and I even heard a few actual journalists entertaining this) that everything just didn’t make sense unless it was an inside job done as a stunt to boost Trump’s popularity. Do I agree that there were a lot of open issues that need to be investigated? Yes. Do I think that a narcissist like Trump (and basically 95% of politicians) would ever in a million years agree to have a person shoot at his head and barely miss? No way. What is he? William Tell? Also, if you’re pulling a stunt like this, you do it much much closer to the election, not 4 months ahead. Have these people never watched reality TV? Trashiness: 3 out of 10. It’s not so much trashy on a moral level. It just defies common sense.

Political Rhetoric on the Left. These people can totally get over it, IMO. If you think that pointing out the fascist leanings on the right caused this kid to take a shot at Trump, I guess the best solution is “quit pushing a fascist, authoritarian agenda.” Additionally, we don’t yet know what the kid’s motives were. He was a registered Republican, in a state where you can only vote in the Primaries if you are affiliated with a party. He had a libertarian father and a liberal mother. He had friends who wear MAGA gear. Maybe he just wanted to make a name for himself. Maybe he was mentally ill (although initial reactions didn’t show this to be obviously the case). Trashiness of the take: 7 out of 10 for the absolute gall of these people. Noticing fascism is the best way to combat fascism (even Vance compared Trump to Hitler before his miraculous MAGA conversion). If you don’t want to get indicted, don’t do crimes (or conversely, appoint partisan hack judges up and down the system). And I’m going to go on record with a weird take of my own. I’m not convinced that killing Hitler would have prevented the rise of Nazism. Maybe, maybe not. He was voted in democratically. That’s the real cautionary tale.

The Press. This is similar to the previous take, but basically takes a media twist, pointing out that journalists and networks are ratings whores who will publish the most salacious, out of context, and vitriolic rhetoric that they can possibly put out there in order to boost their viewership, damn the consequences. Trashiness: 5 out of 10. I mean, do they do this? Yes, every media outlet does to some extent. Caveat emptor. We have to be smart enough to recognize the bias of what we consume, and to question things that are contested. A twist on this one, that foreign bad actors are juicing the media narrative and exploiting algorithms with explosive language is something I totally see happening. However, I also think that the same advice applies. You have to take responsibility for your media diet, and nothing you read gives you a pass to (checks notes) commit actual murder.

Secret Service. There’s definitely got to be some reckoning with the Secret Service team. I mean, Trump does a lot of rallies in a lot of venues, and they are all going to have their own vulnerabilities. This one seems kind of ridiculous in terms of security. The kid wasn’t even inside the venue and had a clear shot. It was only sheer chance that he missed. He was taken down almost immediately. People saw him before he started shooting and pointed it out to security folks. To me, this is a totally fair criticism, despite the fact that the Secret Service acted quickly and appropriately when the shots were fired, which is their job and is also heroic. I actually know a guy who used to be in Secret Service (under both Carter & Reagan), and he told me that the asset also creates a lot of risk based on his own instructions. He said Carter was hard to protect, often wanting to wander into crowds, but Reagan made better choices that were safer. Trashiness: 1 out of 10. But if you want to make that take trashy, easy peasy. A whole bunch of right wingers immediately claimed that the real issue was that the Secret Service included DEI hires, by which they meant women. Some stated that these agents were totally unqualified, made disparaging comments about their looks, and claimed that they were too short to protect tall Trump and instead should only be protecting women. Trashiness: At least a 9 out of 10. These women are willing to jump in front of a bullet for their asset, and they are just as trained and brave as men doing the job. As to the height issue, when you are a politician speaking to a crowd, you aren’t surrounded by a phalanx of agents literally blocking your head. That’s not the job.

Gun Control. Given that the right has been on a quest to roll back gun control, including for automatic weapons like the ones used in this attack and in the majority of mass shootings, this is a fair critique. The only thing I will note, though, is that the gun was legally purchased by the boy’s father, and the kid was trained in gun safety, so it wasn’t a totally reckless gun issue. Trashiness: 2 out of 10. Given the recent Trump-appointed SCOTUS decision, though, the irony gets a 6 out of 10.

Nut jobs. Honestly, this one doesn’t necessarily stand out on its own. It often goes hand in hand with the rhetoric, which we have no idea whether it contributed or not to the action. But the gist of this one is that we have an unaddressed mental health crisis in this country, and just as Jesus said to Judas “The poor ye will have always with you,” same goes with people on the fringes who are mentally unstable and might do something like this. I just don’t think you really solve it without addressing automatic weapons which are now off the table thanks to the radical SCOTUS. Trashiness of this final take: 5 out of 10. IMO, it’s not really something you can solve for directly.

This one’s my take, so therefore not trashy, but you are free to disagree. I find it completely tragic that this young person took this action. We don’t yet know why he did it, and it will be hard to figure out until the FBI releases their conclusions (they took his phone to analyze it). Young people who are under 25 have brains that are still not fully developed, and yet this one made a horrible decision that ended his own life, another person’s life, nearly ended Trump’s life, and also injured two others; we are lucky more people weren’t killed or gravely injured. It’s such a waste of human potential.

An assassination is a way to undermine democracy; so are things like gerrymandering and fascism. Instead of getting one vote (in a swing state, no less, which is even more valuable than in California or Texas), an assassin wants to have undue influence by taking a life, even if they consider that life to be a danger to the country. It’s a democracy, and we only get one vote. I don’t like the choices, but I condemn the very thought that taking a life Minority Report style is ever OK. It’s the same (unconvincing to me) justification employed by Nephi when he gives his account of killing Laban. I’m not buying it. You get one vote. So do I.

Here are some questions for you to discuss:

  • Are there other trash takes you’ve heard that I missed?
  • Would you rate these differently?
  • Have you heard opinions shared by church members, either online or in your local ward? What are people saying?
  • What’s your take on this tragic event?

Discuss.

[1] The post title is taken from the M*A*S*H episode of the same title.

[2] Gen Z for “Eff around, find out.”

[3] It honestly (don’t throw fruit) reminded me of the fact that a guy standing next to Hitler in the Beer Hall Putsch died by gunshot, but Hitler fearlessly kept marching at the front of his followers. This was when he staged his own coup, before he was jailed, and before he won the office of Chancellor by popular vote, when his movement was still in its early days and his agenda was both unknown and possibly still unformed. Totally different scenarios, but both were unflinching in the face of mortal peril. Hey, I was just in Munich. Sue me.