When I was a kid, the anticipation for Christmas morning—the belief in a literal visitation from Santa Claus—fueled my Yuletide enthusiasm. Saying this is no confession and implies no disrespect nor disinterest in the Nativity story or the Christmas sacrament program. The holy aspects of the season were welcome in my heart. They shimmered in my mind like the stars in the sky.
Going on a mission taught me the world doesn’t end just because you won’t be home for Christmas. For the first time in my life, I experienced a Christmas morning which was about something other than my wants and my presents. The childhood exhilaration was gone, but the value of the season remained, arguably becoming even more needful. Christmas became the waning moon passing through its zenith.
Nowadays? What is Christmas about during a phase of mortality that insurance companies chuckle at me for calling midlife? This Christmas, I say with my whole heart: Let me work! Schedule me, boss! Let others take the day off. On Christmas Eve, let me clock in and stay busy till midnight. And then let me do it again Christmas afternoon. Let me make both the before-Carol Scrooge and the after-Carol Scrooge proud.
This Christmas will be different, because two Christmases ago was the worst Christmas I’ve ever had. Now I’m just different enough that I believe I’ll never be the same. So… There’ll be a forgivable nip of Scotch waiting at home, when I trudge back from the hospital with sore knees, an aching back, and smelling of infectious materials. Yet, I will have kept Christmas in my way, from before the sun rose till after it sets.
Whoever tries to convince you that this holiday is all about, and only about, a sacred myth—like Linus in A Charlie Brown Christmas—is aspiring to something which is less than the whole truth. Christmas is about the secular stuff too. Christmas reigns supreme because we spend supreme. Actual, practicing Christians will spend a lot more holy time and spiritual effort on Easter.
The herds of people frantically shopping, as much to stave off potential shame as to express love, the folks crowding the airports so they can be with people who annoy them, the stores out of stock and the websites out of bandwidth, and the favorite Hollywood movies as much as the Nativity in the Bible—it all mixes together. Clark Griswold taking a chainsaw to his own house on Christmas Eve means as much to me as wise men visiting from the East, and in the 21st century teaches me more. It all matters. And for those of us with a fondness for the traditional Christian calendar, this whirlwind of merriment makes us long for ordinary time.
How you feel about that? That’s what Christmas will mean to you this year. So keep a good thought.
Maybe Christmas will mean forgiving yourself for how you feel. Maybe, like me, you will spend your day nobly and tirelessly serving others… while suspecting that you are actually hiding from something. Regardless, Christmas will, if you keep it the best way your heart and mind can muster, bless you.
You are the angel Gabriel, you are also the reason for the star. The moon and sun rise and set for you because you are life, and you are precious! You. Perhaps you remember past Christmases as being better. And perhaps future Christmases cause you anxiety. But present Christmas is here, and so—whether there be no god, one god, or many gods—let us declare: peace on Earth; goodwill to humankind. And god bless us, every last one of us!
Thank you for reading. Your reflections on Christmas, especially as a holiday experienced through Mormonism, are welcome in the Comments section below.
Wheat & Tares 
As a kid, Christmas represented a visit by a literal Santa Clause. As a teen and young adult, Christmas represented the birth of a literal Savior. In more recent years, my doubts about the latter resemble my doubts about the former. And for me Christmas is all about family. With four adult kids who live coast to coast, my metric for a successful Christmas is having the four of them (and their significant others) under our roof on Christmas morning (humble brag: we are 4 for 4 this year). Maybe none of us are going to be together in the next life (according to some of your beliefs) but we are all together now!
Christmas on my mission in Guatemala was hot, dusty, and simple. The nativities there were huge , sometimes taking an entire room, and often included Barbie, GI Joe, and Godzilla figures right next to baby Jesus. They set off fireworks at midnight and ate giant tamales.
Now that I’m almost an empty nester the thing I love most about Christmas is dinner with my kids. If we could have a nice dinner and chat about random stuff every week or two I’d be happier than Christmas morning.
Not gonna lie, I’m trying to figure it out still since I’m feeling a little lost from many personal changes this year. Confronting persistent thoughts of nihilism and absurdism “chupa la bruja” as we’d say in Gaute. Christmas is probably like life in that it’s what we make of it. I just made muffin batter for Christmas morning so wife and I will enjoy a nice lazy morning with the 2 boys and the pets. Christmas will mostly be over by 10am.
Jake C., I love this idea that we should integrate all the commercialism into Christmas and stop thinking that Christmas needs to be purified from the annoyances of traveling and the stress of shopping. It is all mixed up. Thinking that the season would be better if we could pull out huge parts of it just sets us up to feel like failures.
Christmas has gotten a lot less for me over the years. Less stuff. Less stress. Less Christ. Less worry about doing Christmas right. Less decorating and baking. As my regular life has gotten more enjoyable, I’m less motivated to put in a ton of effort in making Christmas really special and different. It’s a little bit special and a little bit different, and that works out great.
I’m going to Church on Christmas Eve tomorrow. I want to sing the Christmas hymns. This will be my first time at Church in almost five years. I hope we get to sing O Little Town of Bethlehem, and the one with all the Gloria notes in the chorus.
I like all the extra-ness of Christmas and always have. Even now that I am the one responsible for “doing Christmas” for my young family, I still love it. It’s overwhelming, but I like Jake C’s approach. Leaning into the chaos and the both-andness of the season is part of its charm.
Tomorrow I am the organist and pianist on an eyewatering number of hymns, songs, and performances. I’ve practiced a lot, but this takes me right up to the limits of my abilities as a keyboardist. (For better or worse [worse], I am the -only- organist in our ward and one of only two pianists.) I have practiced a lot and am hoping to do well but also praying for everyone’s grace. Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect.
Margie,
After the 2008 recession all our organists and pianists moved out except for one woman who was the Young Women’s president. Her husband was in the bishopric. I brushed up my marginal skills and served as organist for several years. I feel your pain in my shoulders arms and fingers. May you be blessed for your service.
Thank you, lws329! It’s such a luxury to be understood and in good company.
Bethlehem is a Palestinian town south of Jerusalem in the West Bank.
Not too long ago, Mormons would tell Gentiles that Christmas didn’t occur on December 25 but on April 6, and they would know that if they weren’t so benighted.
p.s. Gentiles were “everybody else.”