We W&T permabloggers tend to be critical of the Q15 these days. I think it is safe to say we will continue to be so. But today, a pause to recognize the passing of President M. Russell Ballard. Our thoughts are with his loved ones. On a personal note, I met President Ballard once in the Bountiful Temple many years ago, in what feels like a different life as far away as the Premortal World. My cousin was getting sealed and her fiancé was related to the apostle.
My sense of then Elder Ballard was that he was a kindhearted man, and that he did a nice job providing a spiritual capstone to my cousin’s wedding day. I think his counsel to them was something along the lines of, “Always be grateful for just one more day.” In other words, when the sun goes down, and your day is about to end, be grateful that you got to have just one more day. It’s been awhile. I’m struggling to remember, but he said something nice and appropriate like that.
A NaNoWriMo Excerpt from “Welcome to the Hotel Gordon Conwell”
As Monty Python would say: “And now for something completely different…”
Regular Tuesday blogger Dave B. is off today, so I’m going to subject you poor souls to a bit of creative writing. Here is an excerpt from my current writing project: National Novel Writing Month, aka NaNoWriMo. I am nearing the halfway mark of trying to write a 50,000 word novel draft in one month. This excerpt is rough and mostly unedited, but there are some interesting notions in it our readers might like to mull over. Enjoy, or don’t. Regardless, feel free to share your thoughts below, either on the late President Ballard or on my writing. Whatever gets you through Tuesday, good readers! God speed:
To be the Captain was to be a dust mite crawling through the threads of a veil. She existed between the worlds of Next and Before. When she spoke, both heard… if they were listening.
“As you should,” she said to the world Before, as they reached the edge and wished to go over it. “As you should,” the world Next heard after it was over. She only said this once, but both worlds heard it in their time and place, and felt it meaning something for only them.
Children see themselves as main characters. She hoped to help them understand they were actually supporting characters. This universe was made for no single being, so monotheism—however righteous and exceptional it felt to the evangelist of a given religion—seemed perversion to her. She liked to see the students gather and pleasure together. She ached when they chose to do it alone. It always read as defeat in the Book of Life.
There was nothing dignified about the way they lusted and contemplated loving, but they were children. And supporting characters—be they sidekicks or henchmen—are colorful and charismatic of a necessity. They could never exist as the Captain did, weaving footprints across the holy threads of creation, perched between worlds, being mistaken for an Only Begotten by supporting characters seeking the holiest grail they could imagine. So she affirmed, however undignified, the most undignified thing they always ended up doing, because next to breathing and dying, it was the most inevitable thing they would ever do in their finite existences.
“As you should,” she said again, to those about to, and those who had. She said it with compassion. She said it with love.
Wheat & Tares 
I once met Elder Ballard, he was very kind. I’ve always appreciated his story of failure with the Ford Edsel and the lessons we can learn from failure
He’s told the story many times, but I like these words from his 1983 BYU devotional:
“Perhaps we need to understand that failure is part of life. We are not going to be successful in everything we do, but we never need to fail to learn the lesson and to place in the bank of our memories those things that will then cause us to become increasingly powerful and most importantly, increasingly helpful to the building of the kingdom of God.”
These are powerful words: We will fail, but we should never fail at learning from our failures. This is an important lesson for all of us individually and for the church as an organization.
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And now for something completely different:
“He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!”
(Said in my very best Terry Jones voice)
I liked your passage and the idea of captains existing somewhere between mortality and eternity. It reminded me of the Valkyries in Norse mythology – standing somewhere between this world and the next, choosing the dead and escorting them to the other side. Messengers of the gods but complex and powerful in their own right. Thanks, it was a fun little read.
Regarding E. Ballard, his statements on women were perhaps a product of his time, but they were unwelcome nonetheless, and it’s hard for me to remember much else from him. He did try to encourage LGBTQ people to stay in the church by encouraging members to quit treating them like a punching bag, but without offering them any actual place in the church that didn’t involve living half a life. So, in all, he exceeded his peers by being kinder than most of them, while still offering not much of substance. On a personal level, he possessed glimpses of humility, and also showed a propensity to make rather foolish decisions that didn’t end well. The Tim Ballard debacle is not out of step with him in general, and he was a ready mark, willing to ensnare other fools to part them from their money in this venture.
As to the writing exercise, so many great ideas here, presented in a thoughtful way open to interpretation. Love it! The role of the Captain reminded me of how people talk about prophets, yet your version is much more honest. She is nothing, the smallest thing, like a dust mite, and her words are interpreted (misinterpreted) by those who listen in the before and the after. The words are only relevant through the (mis)interpretation thereof, in a specific unique context. They don’t mean one thing. They are subjective. The meaning is imbued by the listener.
Hopefully he left feeling he made a difference in this world. To be honest, I can’t think of many Elder Ballard stories. Those that come to mind are the “Where Will You Go” talk, (and its afterlife as an ex-mormon meme for former members posting pictures of themselves drinking alcohol in gorgeous locations), the late-breaking Tim Ballard-tithing story, and the “Raising the Bar” talk that led to a tanking of missionary numbers in the 2000s. Other than that, I don’t remember him ever being brought up much as he was, in my opinion, a middling speaker at best. All in all, he seemed like one of the nicer, relatively harmless apostles we’ve had in the last 50 years.
I have one memory of then-Elder Ballard in about the year 2013.
I had just retired, and my wife and I were called by our Stake President to serve as Stake Missionaries, who would be assigned to the Baltimore Mission, to help it find apartments to house the surge in missionaries, immediately after the age of missionary service was lowered to 18 years of age for Elders, and 19 years of age for sisters. We attended many of the missionary conferences.
Elder Ballard came out to Maryland, and spoke to all the missionaries at one of these conferences. He said many things, but I treasure the down-to-earth candor of this statement that he made:
“It is very hard to get the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve to agree on anything of importance.”
Thank you,
Taiwan Missionary
Thanks for sharing. I had not yet heard the news that he had passed. Unfortunately, I don’t have too many memories of Elder Ballard. He is not an apostle who stood out to me too much, unlike Dieter Uchtdorf or Boyd Packer. He lived to the age of 95. Well past the life expectancy in the US. Many of the other high-ranking leaders of the church are in their 80s and 90s. The next decade will be undoubtedly bring a significant change in the leadership. It seems that David Bednar will eventually be the prophet, and probably for a rather long period of time. He was picked at a young age to be an apostle and for the reason that he would eventually lead the church. It will be interesting to see if there are any young picks for the new apostles.
When I heard him refer to his Edsel debacle, I could only hope that Ford Co. enticed/strongarmed him into the dealership pipeline well before he saw the finished product. Nobody in his right mind would have agreed to sink his life savings into that monstrosity after seeing it up close. Ford had decided to hype it up for at least a year before its debut, in hopes of creating ‘breathless anticipation’ – instead they generated such expectations that only a solid-gold flying carpet made entirely of soft fleece might have satisfied us. When we went to the dealer’s floor space that first night, I could only think (as Peggy Lee put it): “Is that all there is???” What an overpriced piece of mediocre Detroitism we encountered.
Brad D, David Bednar is 71 which is very young for the Quorum of the 12. However, Elder Uchtdorf is a very young and spry 83 and is in seniority right in FRONT of Elder Bednar. Nobody knows, but I suspect that Elder Uchtdorf will be ordained the church president by the time he’s in his mid 80’s and I could imagine him serving until he’s about Pres. Nelson’s age. So, I do think it likely that Elder Bednar will one day be president of the church and may even the “David” spoken of in Revelations laying on the streets of Jerusalem at the end times but he likely won’t serve very long since there’s a relatively “young” man right in front of him. Of course, the Lord may decide to shake up the waters a bit and call a church president out of order of seniority. That would be awesome if that was ever His will. Another possibility is the “President Lee Effect” meaning a very “young” and healthy apostle or prophet could surprisingly die at a relatively “young” age. Pure speculation, but interesting.
It’s been a long time since one of the 15 died. Perhaps some of the others who are past their use by date might follow his example.
The inevitability of death ought to inform us of the infinite value of the soul–young or old. But, alas, the modern world’s mechanistic explanations of human existence have made our short stay on this planet seem less consequential than the lives of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Why on earth is anyone downvoting dmtm’s speculation of an Uchtdorf presidency?? That’s honestly the *only* good thing I can imagine for the future of the church, if there is to be one that isn’t a continuing rapid descent into autocracy, conspiracism, and ongoing GOP-ificaton of the membership (or what’s left of it).
Australian Geoff – just wow. What a perfectly awful thing to say. Wow. Staggeringly hideous.
In the last GC I definitely got the vibe from Ballard that this was his final talk, you could see him making a physical effort to get those words out.
I always found Ballard one of the kinder apostles. And I don’t know what his mental/physical state have been like for last few years, but it makes me wonder if Tim Ballard pulled one of those “scams on the elderly”, by getting Pres. Ballard’s endorsement for OUR and the movie and all that. He might’ve been too old and ill to see through that, and then when the Tim Ballard thing blew up, the Church ran PR cover for Pres. Ballard, and I don’t think Pres. Ballard himself ever commented on the situation afterwards. It may not have even been on his radar if his condition wasn’t so great.
Anyway, I’m thinking Holland will go next, then Nelson. After that it’s hard to say. I would assume Oaks, but he seems as implacable as ever, while Eyering has been getting a bit shaky lately.
I am also desperately hoping for an Uctdorf Presidency, it’ll give us some breathing room and prepare for the horrors that Bednar will no doubt unleash.
I find it curious that most people that are at odds with the church see Elder Uchtdorf as somehow being their ‘guy’. I would love to know what engenders that. He seems no different than the rest of them to me.
In fact, he kind of rubs me the wrong way. A bit phony. A bit too smooth. Too sexy. Too polished. Too silver tongued. Gives off a salesman vibe. Hard to put my finger exactly on it, but it’s some combination of those.
I think the British say something like ‘too clever by half’?
“Too sexy, right?” said Fred.
I get the silver fox deal with Uchtdorf (also Romney), but sexy? Erm, nah.
Fred,
That’s a good question, why do people, especially exmo’s or people with one foot already out the door like Uctdorf so much?
For me personally, I’d say the following:
1) yes, there’s the Silver Fox element, for the group of very old men he’s in, he’s definitely one of the sexiest. Imagine getting romanced by Elder Cook or Redlund, yuck. Uctdorf’s still got it.
2) To be honest, Uctdorf feels like one of the least salesman-like apostles. He comes off a bit more genuine, he doesn’t make himself get all weepy like Holland and Eyering have been doing a lot lately. He’s s bit more direct and straightforward, but in a human way, and it never feels like he’s talking down to anyone. Oaks is also direct and straightforward, but with a definite “I’m speaking from up here, and you’re listening from down there” authoritative vibe.
That said, in recent years, his talks have been getting more performative. There’s this pattern of intonational contours he’s been using lately that make his talks seem like oratory performances. Which I’m not super enthusiastic about, but that’s probably a thing that happens after a certain amount of time when your job is literally just giving speeches.
3) Finally, as many of us suspect, Uctdorf is probably the most progressive of the bunch. He gave a GC talk admitting that previous church leaders have made mistakes (rumor is he got in trouble for that), got caught making donations to Biden’s presidential campaign (Biden is not really a progressive by any means, but it’s a low bar to clear as far as the political leanings of the Q15 go). And most importantly perhaps, is that his talks pretty pacifistic. He doesn’t get up there and rant about the gays, enemies of the church, or the constitution, or whatever. Folks like Nelson, Oaks, and Bednar get up there and lean into all of this “us vs. them” rhetoric. Uctdorf doesn’t really do that, and in this regard at least, I think Uctdorf better embodies real Christian values of peace and love towards fellow human beings regardless of what they believe in.
Also, as an addendum, why might Uctdorf be like this? I think it’s because Uctdorf comes from a background quite a bit different from most of the Q15. Uctdorf was a war refugee as a child and grew up in the destroyed post-war Germany. That man has seen some real shit, he’s more intimately familiar with the precarity of life compared to most (all?) of the other members of the Q15. And that’s why I think his outlook towards other human beings is ultimately more charitable compared to these other guys who’ve grown up in the bubble as members of the petty bourgeoisie (lawyers, bankers, doctors, etc).
Thanks for that great response, Shcwimmy. That was very insightful and gives me a new perspective.
And thanks Angela and Not a Cougar for agreeing with me that he’s not sexy. 🙂
One thing that struck me about Shcwimmy’s response about why Uchtdorf is different, is what s/he missed: Uchtdorf is not American.
I’m Canadian, so to me it feels obvious, but I suspect for many Americans, because it’s the water you swim in, you may not realize just what a cultural behemoth the U.S. is, and how much it influences your worldview.
Fifteen years ago I joined an online forum of members of the church, and the far majority of our group was American. It was my first online experience with other Mormons, and it was eye-opening to notice differences I wasn’t expecting to find.
Part of the forum’s charter was basically, “We’re not going to discuss politics here, because when members discuss politics, it always ends up with scriptures being quoted and people bearing testimony that their candidate is the candidate God would choose.”
I remember thinking, “What? Members don’t do that!” Well, it turns out many American members do, even with a charter and mods to enforce it.
In some ways, the Church is the same all over the world. In other ways, it’s really, really not. That’s a major reason why Uchtdorf is different.
I have enjoyed hearing others’ perspectives on Elder Uchtdorf. To me he represents the hope of the Church. Schwimmy gave a good list of factors that must have shaped him into his present liberal [expansive, more-inclusive] bent; thx for that. I would add one other: He has seen the world from 40,000 feet. He has seen the faces of Europeans in the morning and been greeted by Asians, or Europeans, or Australians, or New Worldians, by afternoon. That would surely lift an intelligent, observing person out of the Utah-centric bubble mindset.
Man, a post explicitly set up to memorialize Ballard, and the thread ends up being about Uchtdorf instead! I hope none of you are forgotten this quickly when you die.
In the interests of saying something nice about the dead, I will note that he was strangely the only speaker in October 2018 conference to observe the centennial of D&C 138–and that he did so largely by observing how much of F. Smith’s life had been marred by tragedy–how “During his lifetime, President Smith lost his father, his mother, one brother, two sisters, two wives, and thirteen children. He was well acquainted with sorrow and losing loved ones,” how “When his son Albert Jesse died, Joseph F. wrote to his sister Martha Ann that he had pled with the Lord to save him and asked, ‘Why is it so? O. God why had it to be?’”, how “Despite his prayers at that time, Joseph F. received no answer on this matter.”
It was a frank acknowledgment that life is often filled with senseless tragedy that have no Pat answers, even if we’re active in the church or whatever, which is something we could definitely stand to hear more of in GC (instead of the prosperity-gospel-lite we normally get instead).
Things I will miss with Elder Ballrd’s passing (things I greatly appreciated about him as a liberal feminist).
1) He provided a rebuttal to Julie B. Beck’s anti-feminist talk “Mothers Who Know” during his talk in the following conference. No other GA corrected course, despite tremendous controversy it caused.
2) He always focused on the Godhead and the restoration. Unlike so many others (like Oakes, Benson, and even Paul) he didn’t spout personal hobby horses. I got the sense that he never wanted it to be about himself. Some GAs speak on the edge of the limbs of the gospel tree, and some fall off, but he never did. You could count on his talks being grounded in the basics.
3) He was the least formally educated (prior to Rasband), least “corporate” and least wealthy of all the GAs. He was intimidated by the lawyers, university presidents, surgeons and political figures, but he hung in there as a comparatively humble car dealership owner. I wish we had more diversity in the GAs, and with his passing, we move further away from leadership that looks professionally like us. (I acknowledge we have a love affair with corporate leaders and most RMs fantasize themselves as CEOs, even despising the mediocre, but that’s another post for another time.)
4) He spoke at Harry Reid’s funeral, openly supporting a (gasp!) democrat. His eulogy was touching and deeply respectful. After the ceremony, he warmly mingled with key democratic leaders. Props. In a world where all the GAs trip over themselves to “neutrally” support any photo op with the republicans, thank you- Elder Ballard, for supporting the Dems.
5) I cheered during his last conference talk, as he extemporaneously bore his testimony, unable (with failing eyesight) to read the teleprompter. Thank you for bringing back sincerity and being “in the moment”. I wish more speakers could address the temperature of the room and speak with the spirit. I’m glad this was his goodbye.
6) He kept mormonism weird and peculiar. By that, I mean he continued to testify of the restoration and the pioneers. You’ll notice that under President Nelson’s administration, this is not the priority- it’s Jesus. Elder Ballard reminded us that our knowledge of the nature of God was greatly expanded by the First Vision and had been preserved by the sacrifices of the pioneers. In a time when we’re mainstreaming with American evangelicalism as fast as we can, I deeply appreciated this testimony.
7) He admitted mistakes. What other GAs do that? In an era of “never apologize”, he would. His humble story about the Edsel and failings (as described above) is in stark contrast to most GAs and leaders who never concede. We bemoan this about the church today, and I can’t help but think that we would be a much healthier community if the majority of leaders agreed to admitting mistakes, like Elder Ballard exemplified.
He ended up being a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) guy. John Dehlin got ahold of his granddaughter and grilled her for several hours on a podcast, trying to extract the down and dirty details of his life and home. “Disappointingly” there was no salacious gossip to be had. Hour after hour, no dirt. Actually, the opposite came out. He was sincere, loving and patient. Some post-Mormons, Mormons, and cynics revel in the messy stories from the dysfunctional Benson home, from Brigham’s closets, from other GAs. The cynics love saying that any juicy tidbit is proof of total systemic corruption. Obviously, there is a much more nuanced line between human fingerprints left over a lifetime in the spotlight, and priestly hypocrisy, but many people are prone to seeing things in black and white. Elder Ballard was the real deal- he walked the talk.