A Dialogue
Jake and Gray Kitty sit on the porch on a partly cloudy day with a steady breeze blowing. A cloud passes that had been blocking the sun. Instantly, the man and cat feel a pleasing warmth, but it soon becomes uncomfortable.
GRAY KITTY (GK)
You realize this is all going to end.
JAKE
Yeah. The truth confronted me last year.
GK
How did you take it?
JAKE
I thought we’d agreed not to talk about that.
GK
Yes, but I look at you and I see. You’ve had a much better year. You have opened up and bonded with me, which was unexpected. I worry you are trending euphoric.
JAKE
Trending euphoric?
GK
Yes. Perhaps you are buying into these good times to an unhealthy degree.
JAKE
These days, delusion is the only thing I can afford to buy into.
GK
Bitter, and yet displaying unbridled pleasantness. Every time I crawl into your lap… I fear you are—
JAKE
Trending euphoric.
GK
Yes.
JAKE
If I tarry in these roaring 20s, what is that to you?
GK
Please remember which demographic “rushes in.”
JAKE
Your paws are so cute when you do air quotes.
There is a pregnant pause. Gray Kitty turns away. A cloud blocks out the sun. Instantly, the man and cat feel a pleasing coolness, but it soon becomes uncomfortable. The man pets the cat.
GK
(purring)
Yes.
JAKE
Yes, what?
GK
Yes, I am playing for more of those lobster-flavored treats you keep right inside the door.
JAKE
At least you’re honest.
The cat looks directly into the man’s eyes. They hold the gaze long enough for it to feel awkward.
JAKE
I know. This is going to end sometime.
GK
I hold out no hope for eight more lives.
JAKE
Then we both know what we need to know.
GK
What do you know?
JAKE
I know that everyone who ever promised me blessings in exchange for obedience was engaged in sales.
GK
Yes.
JAKE
I also know that any person pushing the notion that the universe owes humans something is lying to me.
GK
Indeed! Probably also lying to themselves.
The man pets more fervently, inadvertently putting pressure on one of the cat’s hip joints. The cat nips the man’s hand. He pauses, then resumes petting softer and slower.
JAKE
If you were the size of your ego, the authorities would tranquilize you and drag you off to a “preserve.”
GK
Or kill me outright. I am no fool. Why do you think I am always jumpy when we meet up?
JAKE
I’ve noticed that. No matter how many treats I give you, the next visit you always start out hesitant.
GK
Have you ever seen me trending euphoric?
JAKE
No.
GK
Where do you go when you leave me five nights a week?
JAKE
To a place which helps me avoid starving or winding up homeless.
GK
Humans are so laden with obligations.
JAKE
Yup… I’m sure there are plenty of other places you can go.
GK
Why would you ever believe the universe owes you something? That smacks of, I believe the phrase is, “Drinking the Kool Aid”?
The man stops petting the cat. The cloud blocking the sun passes. Instantly, the man and cat feel a pleasing warmth, but it soon becomes uncomfortable.
JAKE
We humans aren’t fools or fooled. We drink the Kool Aid because the alternative is dying anyway.
GK
I see.
(walking over to the apartment’s storm door)
Naptime.
JAKE
(heading to the door and letting the cat in)
You realize this is all going to end.
GK
Yes. The truth confronts me every day.
They enter the apartment. End of scene.
Notes and Discussion Questions
The featured image is by the author. Gray Kitty is a neighborhood cat who befriended me. He appears in a series of #notmycat videos on Instagram. Increasingly, friends and family are trying to convince me he IS my cat, but I dunno. We hang out an hour here, an hour there. I feed him treats. He nips me, cuddles, and then disappears again. It works. Here is a link to our exercise montage reel.
What was your reaction to the above dialogue? More generally, what motivates you to bond with others? What do you put up with in the name of achieving closeness?
Wheat & Tares 
I’m sorry, but your posts are weird!!!
No apology necessary for finding the post weird, dmtm. Did you think I was shooting for normal when I wrote a dialogue between a human and a cat discussing apocalyptic anxiety?
Thank you for an honest reaction. However, your comment is mostly unhelpful. You provided no specific examples or justification for your reaction.
Creative writing for me is a journey, an experiment, and a form of recreation. Weird is fine. Weird is often my goal. I suspect you mean weird in a negative way, but I cannot be sure because your comment is a hasty hot take, not a thoughtful response. Would you like to try again? You’re welcome to comment again, provided you explain WHY you feel the post is weird. It would be helpful if you offered details supporting your reaction.
Doesn’t everyone experience stream of consciousness conversations with themselves when alone in quiet reflection? I find your posts interesting in that sometimes your worries are similar to my own and sometimes you worry about things I haven’t even thought about, yet…
This reminded me of something I’ve recently learned about my values. As a fully participating LDS member, I acted like one of my highest values was immortality. Turns out one of my highest values is actually the opposite: I value mortality. This means I value mindfulness, presence, compassion, seasons, and death. Perhaps we are similar in that?
I liked it, Jake C! Some excellent one-liners in there. And if I had a cat, or “had” a cat that wasn’t mine, I’m pretty sure our conversations would be similar.
One question:
“We humans aren’t fools or fooled. We drink the Kool Aid because the alternative is dying anyway.”
You seem to be hinting here that humans believe in the supernatural, irrational things we do while deep down harboring a subconscious awareness of existential doom—we’re all finite, fleeting beings with nothing awaiting us after death other than oblivion, so we indulge in fantasies to stave off nihilism. Is that the meaning you’re going for here, or have I misinterpreted it?
This seems to be an idea that comes up in theism/atheism debates but usually from the other side—I.e. You atheists secretly believe in God, you’re just mad at him because he won’t let you do whatever you want. As an atheist myself, I sometimes wonder if when theists experience doubt (the way I used to) if that’s the subconscious awareness of reality bubbling through, or if our convictions actually go all the way down. Having been on both sides of it, I can say I don’t experience reverse-doubts (what if I’m wrong and the Christian god is real?!). But I’m also more aware than I used to be that I don’t experience reality the same way other people do.
Enjoyed this dialog. Having never owned (or been close to) a cat, I have to learn about the inner working of cat minds by consuming articles such as this. I also learn a bit about humans’ inner dialogs similarly.
I’m charmed by your posts that are weird. But I’m also charmed by a witty talking cat, so maybe my opinion doesn’t carry a lot of weight.
I think Alyssa gets to the heart of it for me, speaking of how an awareness of mortality underscores valuing the here and now. This is at the core of mindfulness, a practice which has become very important to my wellbeing in the last year. I do really appreciate everyone’s reflections and reactions on this piece.
Kirkstall, I get what you’re saying, though as a personal preference I’ll steer away from the term nihilism. It works though. I get the impression for many people there is this assumption that without organized religion we will be rudderless and barbaric, which… maybe, but that doesn’t mean we need to rely on existing churches. Martin Luther didn’t settle for the status quo, but he clearly drank something…
For me, the Kool Aid reference is about the willingness we often have to play along with something we know causes harm, something we are deeply skeptical of in our hearts. Playing along for convenience, for social lubrication and consummation. That section of dialogue is also about emphasizing the self-serving nature of eternal reward. Being good, not for goodness’ sake, but as our half of a transaction.
Lastly, I typed most of this with Gray Kitty in my lap. He has nothing to add, silently clawed my thigh as I typed, got fed up with receiving less than all of my attention, and is now curled up in a neighboring chair having his third nap since eating breakfast (a half hour ago).