A Brief Dialogue
Grace, a rare Rodrigues flying fox, hangs suspended from the ceiling of her habitat in a central Florida wildlife conservancy. She video chats with her adoring fan Jake, who sits alone in a common man’s coffee shop in southeast Michigan. Grace’s body language is ever amiable and curious. Jake hunkers over his caffeine, a man who has seen it all, been through it all, and just wants to be left alone to drown in his cup.
GRACE
What did you have for breakfast?
JAKE
Iced coffee.
GRACE
What are you having for lunch?
JAKE
White Chocolate Sweet Foam Cold Brew.
GRACE
What will you have for dinner?
JAKE
An Altoid.
GRACE
Well, at least you’re switching it up later. Your microbiome will be grateful.
JAKE
A lovely doctor once counseled me that dinner should be the lightest meal of the day.
GRACE
Really?
JAKE
And she said it like it was a given. Like it was an axiom embraced by all sensible people.
GRACE
What will she think of today’s diet?
JAKE
We’ll never know. I fired her.
GRACE
She was only trying to help. Why fire her?
JAKE
Because, speaking as a man with an English degree, I was appalled to discover she somehow made it all the way through med school, internship, and residency without learning the one great humbling truth of life.
GRACE
Which is?
JAKE
That it is possible to be both right and stupid at the same time.
GRACE
Do you believe that?
JAKE
I believe it. I live it. And I will die by it. A happy dying man whose last breath will hold the eye-watering, curiously strong fragrance of peppermint.
As the lights fade, Grace flaps her wings slowly, dissipating the Florida heat. Jake takes another swig of cold brew. End of scene.
Notes and Discussion Questions
This dialogue originally appeared as a friends-only post on Facebook titled The Iced Coffee Cometh. That’s a reference to Nobel Prize-winning playwright Eugene O’Neill’s epic play The Iceman Cometh (one of my favs, a real man’s man play). Several Facebook friends did not find it horrible, so I am reposting it here. Though this dialogue is of course fictional, Grace is a real live flying fox who resides at Lubee Bat Conservancy near Gainesville, Florida. She is a dame, and I do adore her. Here is a short video of me feeding her in person back in 2018. Also, for a previous post inspired by my love of the bats at Lubee, try Receiving a Sure Witness.
So readers, what are your impressions of the above dialogue? Is the Jake of the dialogue a misogynist, or just a curmudgeonly coffee addict running off at the mouth? Explain your answer.
Wheat & Tares 
I think Dialogue Jake, whose wry sense of humor I admire, is steeped in the casual misogyny of the world we live in. As are we all. Thing is though, I could easily imagine Jake having the same conversation, word for word, with he/him pronouns for the doctor. When I switch in those pronouns, Jake doesnโt really change for me. But -my- response to the scene changes. I question Jakeโs judgment more AND more deeply admire his curmudgeonly independent streak.
Now whoโs steeped in a world of casual misogyny?
Margie, your comment is a delight to mull over. I like how it gets me thinking inward and outward. Thanks!
Jake I am so fascinated by this post and I donโt understand it!
No worries, BlueRidgeMormon. Probably best to stay surface-level with this one. The protagonist says what he says, and it means what it means. No real mystery. I did once have a doctor piously suggest that dinner shouldโof courseโbe the lightest meal of the day. As healthy as that sounds, it is a practice I’ve never seen any other human advocate or engage in (unless they pigged out for lunch). The line about being right and stupid at the same time popped into my head recently, so I built a short dialogue to give it context.
If you ever have 4 hours to kill and don’t mind watching defeated men drone on about their defeat, I highly recommend tracking down one of the two video productions of The Iceman Cometh out there. Or just read the published text. Amazing, powerful play, but not much happens beyond self-involved dudes sitting around drinking and bemoaning their lot. I’m not sure what it says about me that I love it so much.