Following up on last week’s post on what you are excited about or anxious about in the upcoming General Conference, here is my two cents: excited the NCAA is providing alternative programming on Saturday evening, and cringing a bit about the likely emphasis on reactivating the millions of less active or inactive or hoping-you’ll-never-find-me Mormons out there. But rather than just complain about it, I’m going to take the high road and propose a program that will help: the Please Don’t Rescue Me program. Hospitals allow a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order so patients can die quietly. How about a PDRM (Please Don’t Rescue Me) form that Mormons can file? Think how much more efficient “The Rescue” will be when those who really do not want to be rescued are no longer on The List! And you know what The List is, every ward has one. It’s full of people in your ward that you have never heard of, many of whom don’t even live in your state anymore and a few of whom are probably dead. So here is a quick and dirty Q&A for my proposed Please Don’t Rescue Me program.
How does a person join the PDRM program?
Simply complete the PDRM form online at LDS.org (still in the design and approval stage). Once filed, your church membership record will be redirected from your local LDS unit to the PDRM File.
What happens to the names in the PDRM File?
An updated file will be forwarded to the temples of the Church each month, where it will join other names on the temple altars. Temple officiators and patrons will offer regular prayers on behalf of the PDRMs. It is expected this will be at least as effective as periodic visits from ward members.
Can a person submit a PDRM request before going inactive?
Yes, in fact this is encouraged. You can file a prospective PDRM form even while you are an active Latter-day Saint, and when you subsequently go inactive your local unit can request that your record be transferred directly to the PDRM File.
Will anyone at my ward or stake know that I have submitted a prospective PDRM form?
Early submission of the form will be kept entirely confidential. Only your bishop, his counselors, quorum leaders, auxiliary presidents and counselors, home teachers, visiting teachers, youth leaders, Sunday School teachers, ward clerks, ward librarians, and the ward newsletter specialist will be notified.
Won’t some wards be disappointed at losing dozens of names from their Ward List to the PDRM File?
Initial results from a pilot program for three stakes in Southern California showed surprising support for the program at the local level. Several wards held “Celebrating PDRM” parties when 100 names were transferred to the PDRM File.
Will names in the PDRM File continue to be counted as members of the Church for statistical purposes?
Yes. In fact, they will be counted twice.
What should bishops and ward members do without reactivation meetings to attend and reactivation visits to make?
The pilot program showed that bishops generally used that extra hour or two each week to take a nap. During the NFL off-season, ward members used the extra time to prepare lessons and enjoy family activities.
* * *
So there it is, a program which will reduce burn out among active members, avoid awkward communications with inactive Mormons who don’t really want to talk to you or anyone else from the ward, and make ward clerks really happy.
Wheat & Tares 
You know, this idea has some merit…
I wholeheartedly support the idea.
Certainly more efficient than searching down all those letters with the instruction not to contact people again when you want to know how to locate them.
Super funny Mormon humor!!!!!
A letter to your local Bishop requesting your name be removed from the membership roles will suffice. I’m sure if the member requests no contact following the letter, it would be honored.
I wrote such a letter to the RLDS authorities after joining the LDS. They were attempting to ban me from attending their services; even though I had extended family that were members. I figured if I was no longer on their role, their only course of action, should I show up, would be to call the police.
Dave, Dave, Dave, Sigh. Don’t you know how the church works??? It has been shown time and time again that if someone outside the top leaders propose a program the top leadership will ignore it and put it in the “Not Inspired Here” bin. If they happen to be simultaneously thinking of the same thing (which I hope is the case), then the take it off the table so it doesn’t look like they bend to pressure from outside. So with this single blog post you have removed this from ever being considered by the top church leaders. Sigh. 😉
There has got to be a country song called “Please don’t rescue me”. Well I looked. I have found “Don’t Rescue Me” by Devo (certainly not “country”) The same title from the band, “The Poodles” (they do look like they have enough hair to be a poodle). But alas, no country song. Bummer.
Can one be on the PDRM list even if one plans on staying active? Seems like a great way to get out of callings, meetings, phone trees, missionary dinner requests, and be left to you know… just worship Jesus.
On a different note, what happened to the ‘like’ buttons? I am feeling deprived (and rude to my fellow commenters).
I know at least one membership clerk who would do joyful cartwheels if given such a tool.
During my brief stint as primary secretary I was able to see that our ward clerk had entered “request no visit” or “not at address” in caps as part of the address field for quite a lot of members appearing on our ward list.
We have been informed repeatedly in our ward that a “Do Not Contact” list does not exist. What that really means is that I have nine or ten families on my HT list (only one active) including someone with an address of “Near the intersection” of two roads. I miss the old days when the bishop or HP group leader had a teaching list of all the inactives that we made contact with maybe once a year.
Yep – I have heard over and over “DNC” (Do Not Contact) is not allowed by SLC, but my ward generally keeps doing it for the ones that get upset when contacted.
I have a home teaching family that I have known the whole family for decades and I know they are in no way want contact. So I got them assigned to me and I went over to them and just said, “I was assigned your home teacher, do you want me to ever come over or do you want me to just stay away?” They said, “We are OK, we have your number and will call you if we need anything.” And I have been marking 100% home teaching for them for years.
Happy Hubby-“marking 100% home teaching for them for years.” Brilliant, simply brilliant.
We both win! Why do you think I used the pseudonym of HAPPY Hubby?
As someone who will have to go out this very evening and talk to a bunch of people who are inactive and don’t really want to be talked too. I really wish we had this list in place.
Now in addition to the list of things above I would like to add a few “bonus?” for the ward. First, everyone is welcome to come to Sunday meetings anytime they want, meet with the bishop for any spiritual needs you may need, but if you are looking for someone to pay your rent this month or supplement your food budget. The address for the local welfare office is this and the local food pantry is located here, have a nice day. Second, use of the local ward building for you family get together will require a deposit and a ‘donation of “$…..” , see ward clerk for fee schedule. Third, the local pastors in this area charge “$….” for hosting a funeral, as a member on the PDRM list you are entitled to a 50% discount off that going rate.
Adding the PDRM list and the bonus features would remove about 60-70% of our bishops work load not to mention RS, EQ, primary and HPG workload.
Things I missed.
Fourth, here is the name of the local moving company, hear they have good rates. Here is the number for the local meals on wheels, and Dominos, I hear they deliver.
Fifth, need someone to check on you post-surgery? Sure, here is the number for the local long and short term care nurses for this area, they will be more than happy to help you.
A dream come true.
Perhaps ScottJ intended to continue the humor of the OP, but it goes a little too far for me. The reality is, church welfare is for all within a bishop’s boundaries, not only those who he deems worthy based on church attendance, tithing receipts, or receptiveness to Home teachers. Yes, this means welfare is available to non-members, too – and not just non-members who are potential converts. I know that some members only show up when they have a pressing physical need, like rent is due or the fridge is empty or the car’s about to be repo’d. It happens. So does our opportunity to follow the counsel of King Benjamin in Mosiah 4. If we are so concerned with only helping those who meet some arbitrary guideline of outward righteousness or worthiness (and I disagree with any notion of “it’s not arbitrary, the Lord has set these standards!”), then perhaps that’s a very compelling reason why those very people – our brothers and sisters – feel unwelcome among us. The day that the fast offering coffers and Bishop’s storehouse shelves are both completely empty is the only day ANYONE should be denied succor – even if they never darken the church door. Perhaps more compassion and less judgement on our parts would eventually even negate the need for a PDRM list. (Yeah, this hit a nerve!)
Let me see if I got this straight. Get the hell off my lawn, unless I need you to make my car payment. Then, make my car payment, then get the hell off my lawn.
Did I get that straight?
Long, slow, continous clapping!!! Well done, sir. Well done!
Scott, do you actually care about these people, or are you just salty that they don’t like being “checked in” on by people from two churches ago?
I suspect I care more about them, then they care about me.
Please Don’t Rescue Me Taken to the Nth Degree
23 And it came to pass that it did last for the space of three days that there was no light seen; and there was great mourning and howling and weeping among all the people continually; yea, great were the groanings of the people, because of the darkness and the great destruction which had come upon them.
24 And in one place they were heard to cry, saying: O that we had repented before this great and terrible day, and then would our brethren have been spared, and they would not have been burned in that great city Zarahemla.
25 And in another place they were heard to cry and mourn, saying: O that we had repented before this great and terrible day, and had not killed and stoned the prophets, and cast them out; then would our mothers and our fair daughters, and our children have been spared, and not have been buried up in that great city Moronihah. And thus were the howlings of the people great and terrible.
That someone doesn’t want contact from the LDS church has no bearing one way or the other on their righteousness, personal devotion to Jesus Christ, or ‘worthiness’ in being saved from tragedy. It also doesn’t mean they are looking to stone anyone. They just want to live their lives without endless pressure…
I’m finding these extreme examples are ruining the fun of this topic.
You and me; we’re problem solvers! Now if the Church would just listen to us! 🙂
http://swearingelders.blogspot.com/2012/02/solution-for-churchs-baptizing-dead-pr.html
Jared….WTH???
This is brilliant, Dave!