A few weeks ago I was required by my employer to take a 2 hour class on Sexual Assault Prevention and Response. The class focused on the neurological response that a person goes through when assaulted, and how that affects them after. I learned that hormones released by the body for self preservation can inhibit the ability of the person to fight back, speak, or even remember the event in detail (1). I learned why the person stays with the abuser.
After the class I was overwhelmed with all the new information I had received, and had a much better understanding of what people go through when they are assaulted, and how to talk with them and understand them.
So this got me to thinking that during this two hour class that was given to a bunch of engineers, that I learned more about handling sexual assault victims that I did in over 20 years of church training as an EQ President, Counselor in a Bishopric (twice) and finally as Bishop. I estimated that I spent over 200 hours during those years in “Leadership Training”. These training meetings included stake “Priesthood Leadership Training”, one on one with the Stake President as an EQ President and Bishop, quarterly Bishops training with the SP, A visit by a member of the 1st Q70 with just the bishops, and Worldwide Leadership Training Meetings broadcast to all leaders.
In all these meetings, I learned that the my duty as a Bishop was to be the Presiding High Priest, Leader of the Aaronic Priesthood, to care for the needy, be responsible for finances, and be a Common Judge.
During one of the “Worldwide” broadcasts for bishops, Elder Ballard taught about the “Gift of Discernment”. He gave two examples from when he was a bishop. One was when the gift of discernment told him to have the Bishopric shift their seats over from behind the pulpit so they could better see the congregation during Sacrament meeting. The other was when he had the strong impression that a sister needed to talk to him after looking at her during Sacrament meeting (due to the seat shifting before!). They met and she confessed to something 25 years ago. But there was no teaching about using this discirment in abuse cases.
All this training helped me in the duties explained above, but did not help me become a better marriage counselor, which evidently my congregation thought was my full time job!
The one item that did touch on this was from one of the leadership broadcasts. Pres Hinckley said “Where there has been a confession of abuse or reports of abuse, do not hesitate to phone the so-called hotline for direction” (2)
So that was it, call a phone number. Why is it that my employer thought it was so important to teach a bunch of engineers about Sexual Abuse for two hours, but the church can’t spend the same time teaching a bunch of Bishops the same thing?
(1) The Neurobiology Of Sexual Assault
(2) Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, June 19, 2004
Wheat & Tares 
Why is it a “so-called” hotline? Did GBH not think it was a valid resource?
I am fighting the urge to keep the caps lock on and write a long comment. This is a hot button for me. I have been a manager in a large corporation for over 20 years. I have seen how valuable basic training can be for the organization and for the individuals. I learned more about abuse from my training in the BSA than from any “leadership meeting”. My company just had all managers take a 2 day course led by seasoned professional trainers on “emotional quotient” – or “how to have empathy / think about the deeper WHY someone has their position.” Every one of the managers in my class said they would have taken the course on their own time as it was so valuable. THAT kind of training along with items like the even more serious issues you brought up Bill would be great training for leaders and even lay members.
I have one wonderful sister in our ward and she essentially is teaching Brene Brown and everyone is eating it up and loving each time she teaches a class or gives a talk. I think people are starving for some of this.
I think the training Bishops receive in the church is excellent. Could improvements be made, sure. As wickedness increases in society, Bishops and all church leaders need to be prepared to deal with the problems they encounter. My experience is that most church members benefit by a Bishop teaching and applying the doctrine of Christ as taught in scripture. However, there are a few church members who need to have additional help and should be referred to others who are trained to provide specialized care the member needs.
The training church members receive from scripture, classroom instruction, magazines, General Conference, personal study, prayer, gifts of the Spirit , repentance, etc is more than adequate to navigate the challenges of mortality. Of course, members need to apply the principles their taught. The Book of Mormon teaches about church members who live the gospel, as well as those who struggle because of disbelief. Consider these blended verses from Helaman 3,4 and 6 (exact quotes, but blended to keep comment short).
And in the fifty and first year of the reign of the judges there was peace also, save it were the pride which began to enter into the church—not into the church of God, but into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God—And because of their iniquity the church had begun to dwindle; and they began to disbelieve in the spirit of prophecy and in the spirit of revelation. The Spirit of the Lord doth not dwell in unholy temples.
And they were lifted up in pride, even to the persecution of many of their brethren. Now this was a great evil, which did cause the more humble part of the people to suffer great persecutions, and to wade through much affliction.
Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God. Thus we may see that the Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name. Thus we see that the Lord began to pour out his Spirit …because of their easiness and willingness to believe in his word. (Verses blended from Helaman 3, 4 and 6)
I caution against trying to turn bishops into social workers, investigators, therapists, and so forth. The good word of God should be their domain. There are other good people who can fulfill other roles.
I agree that bishops shouldn’t be social worker or therapists, but some bishops encourage that they are THE preferred option compared to these “so called” professionals. I like the term “pastor” or that bishop’s need to be providing pastoral care.
Jared – we will just have to agree to disagree. I have seen way too many stories of women going in and saying that they were raped (even though they might not have called it that) and being told they need to repent. Too many friends that had OCD and scrupulosity and the bishop encouraged them to come in even more often to “fix” the problem to the point where my friends made up sins because they felt they needed to confess something. I bet most bishops have not been trained to identify OCD/scrupulosity and then how to help.
I have several close family/friends (and even my dad) that are or were bishops and some of them went off on their own and learned many things that really helped them and their ward members. I have asked these bishops if they would like more training and they all said, “Yes” with a few commenting it needed to be BEFORE they were called as they didn’t have any time once they were called. I attended bishop’s welfare council (all the bishops in the stake with me sitting in as a bishop’s counselor) where it was brought up that “SLC” said, “we need to not use as much sacred money on marriage counseling.” It was silent staring for a few odd moments until the senior most bishop said, “I don’t know what to say. For many if not most the admonition for them to pray, keep the commandments, and read the scriptures just doesn’t fix their issues. I worry that we will have more divorces.” That was fairly eye-opening to me.
I absolutely agree with ji. The challenge is how to change the current default of running to the bishop with personal issues to running to a professional. With that, I know in our area there is a six week waiting period for free/low cost mental health assistance while the Bishop is free and available nearly 24/7.
With that, it seems like our current Bishop training is woefully inadequate for what they end yup doing. I guess i don’t understand why the Bishops don’t admit their lack of training and immediately refer people elsewhere? (Although someone told me that our regional lds social services office also has a huge waiting list as well….)
As a first counselor I sometimes had to play bishop when the bishop was out of town. Real training in advance would have been very valuable – both as to Church welfare matters and as to counseling on various relationship matters. (There was no training in our periodic bishopric training meetings that had any application to real problems.) The need for training may not be so much to teach bishop(rics) how to be therapists, social workers, or investigators as to teach them to recognize when such more thoroughly trained and experienced persons are needed and where to refer people..
@ji No one is asking engineers to be social workers, therapists, etc. but they still get training about prevention and response. Holy cow, @jared, your comments are obtuse and red herrings. Knowing how to respond to abuse does require training and comments like yours me very scared for anyone who might, if you were in a leadership position, approach you. Yes, send people to professionals, but get our leaders some training! And, leaders, you should be demanding it!
If someone who is not familiar with the Bloggernacle and Mormons where to read some of the comments here, they couldn’t help but think Bishops are nearly useless and should be avoided because they are so poorly trained and are more of a liability than anything else.
I think Bishop do much good and add to the immense success of the church. Could we do better, sure. But let’s gave credit, where credit is due.
Everyone talks about “leadership training” as some sort of solution. The corporate world has been hopped up on “leadership training” and “worker training” for about half a century. Every time something goes wrong in the church we try to “train” it away- a futile strategy when approaching systemic and complex issues. It’s addressing a symptom, but not the causes or contexts. Yes, local leaders could use specific training. Yes, I agree that what is offered now is fluff. (BTW, one doesn’t climb the leadership ladder by raising a flag to ugly issues like incest and abuse, but by creating warm fuzzy feels through the tearful reading of chicken soup for the soul stories.)
What would it really take to attack this issue meaningfully? A better 2 hour or even 2 day or week training? Maybe we’d be a step closer to our fellow clergy persons who spend years in academic and practical training.
But, can we address the underlying causes like these, not just the symptoms?
1.) Fix the ignorance that abusers prey upon. Train families, children and women. (Keep in mind that Cheiko Okazaki’s talk to RS sisters recovering fro sexual abuse remains to this very day censored by SLC.)
2.) Fix the patriarchy. (So much easier said than done.) We need to see women as leaders, not just Auxiallary sisters. The psychological power differential, access to power, and lack of female decision-making creates disparity that ripples to many levels.
3.) Fix leadership roulette by combing wards and stakes if needed. Set higher standards for Bishops and SPs. We ballooned to 16 million and struggle in our strict hierarchy to juggle the masses. “Training” isn’t the answer. The Q15 simply cannot reach all the wards and branches, even with technology. We haven’t even opened up China, India, and most of the middle-east yet. There isn’t a solution. I’m not making something up here, the growth and scale of the church has been a major (perhaps THE) major concern of the brethren for decades.
4.) Increase LDS counseling services. Not every ward or stake or even region has competent faithful LDS counselors. Is the solution to provide and require LDS sensitivity training for outsourced professionals?
5.) Address socioeconomic risk factors that predispose abusers and victims.
6.) Build Zion. Our pionee ancestors built the West with their sweat. Can we likewise create Zion in the next frontier? The minds and hearts? Can we grow to live the United Order, grasp enlightenment, and eliminate poverty, hunger, and nakedness?
Until we address the causes, I’m lot going to buy that men sitting in meeting number 201 is going to make a difference.
Mortimer: I see Cheiko Okazaki’s talk seems to be at several sources, including YouTube. That said, why isn’t it available directly from an official LDS source?
Right now, April Carlson has a recent post on this subject at FMH. One of the shocking incidents was one sister in a single’s Ward was raped by a returned missionary. She went about the legal work to get him charged for it, getting a rape kit done, etc. Her Bishop took away her Temple Recommend for “ruining” the life of that RM. Victim blame much there?
We also had former spouses of one LDS member, part of the White House Staff, come forward about not only had he punched them around, but their Bishop urged them to keep quiet, so as to not ruin his career.
It does NOT take Professional training to know that these 2 incidents were poorly handled by said Bishops.
Mike H.
The bloggernacle covered the censorship of Okazaki’s talk a few years ago, but I don’t recall all the details. It’s been re-posted by saints, but taken down from Lds.org. The speculation was that the Church didn’t want to admit that these things were prevalent in our perfect corner of the world.
Why just for bishops? Why not for all members? Who would teach the lesson? With our new curriculum pattern, an elders quorum or Relief Society could adopt this topic — if so, I would hope they would approach the matter with some sensitivity, rather than as a social justice warrior.
ji – I full agree again. As to who would teach the lesson, I’d love a visit from the domestic abuse shelter to start!
Mortimer-
In a few minutes of searching, I found Chieko Okazaki’s “Healing from Sexual Abuse” in the following link. It looks like it was provided by
BYU WSR. If you can find information about this talk being suppressed please let us know. Otherwise, it is just a rumor.
I was in a bishopric and other leadership positions. All the “training” I can remember was on content similar to weekly priesthood meeting lessons.
A few years ago I went to my bishop (a friend of mine, at least 10 years younger) as part of an attempted repentance process I wanted to work on and to share the tip of my faith crisis iceberg. As I finished talking I got a “deer-in-the-headlights” response. He didn’t know what to say. Then he kind of insulted me by saying “I always though you were a high flyer.” He decided my sin wasn’t so bad, encouraged me to keep being good, and regarding my faith issues, he promised to send me a conference talk and follow up in a 2nd meeting. He sent a talk that had little to do with my issues, and I never heard from him again.
Soon thereafter I stopped paying a full tithe, was released from my calling (haven’t had one since), was removed as a home teacher (not that it bothered me, but no one told me – I found out when I went to resign that they’d already crossed me off), and am not even asked to direct the much in sacrament meeting anymore. My wife once mentioned to the stake president that I had issues with church history (thanks honey!), so that information was probably passed to ward leadership, which also likely contributed to my church isolation.
It’s ironic – I don’t want a calling and don’t want to be fussed over, but at the same time I want to have the feeling that my ward leaders care about me. I know they do, but they don’t show it. No one has even approached me. And the new bishop is a even a better friend of mine than the last one. We are a tight, orthodox ward, and I am probably the first “apostate” they have ever had, so they don’t know what to do. This is a ward, for example, that took a long time before mentioning the Gospel Topic Essay resource from the pulpit. This is ward where dissenting views are not encouraged in classes, where no-one in the HPG dared say they would be interested in discussing the Gospel Topics if offered. In fact, the HPGL and the visiting area authority prefaced the discussion about whether to have discussions by saying, essentially, “I see no reason why we should do it, there’s nothing new there, I have no need to discuss these issues, i.e. so why should you, and by the way – said the HPGL – did you guys know that JS practiced polygamy? I had no idea!” This is a ward where the YW leadership removes the cola flavored gummy candies from the mixed candy bowls at youth dances. This is ward where manuals are followed very closely in classes. This is ward where most people sit in the same seat in the chapel every week. This is a ward … that can do great parties and put on a fantastic Christmas market to raise money for a women’s shelter. Wanted to end that tangent on a good note.
Anywho, up until a few years ago, I spent my whole church life talking in councils and leadership meetings talking about people on the lists – the less active, those in need – and now I am probably on the list myself. Or not, because no one reaches out. Maybe because they don’t know how. Or are too busy. Or maybe because they think that’s how I want it. And it kind of is. Mostly.
I generally think it is best not to comment when you are emotional (in this case REALLY pissed off). But I am only about 1/2 way through listening to the latest http://www.mormonmentalhealth.org podcast and it just SCREAMS for bishops needing training.