I remember vividly a visit to our stake by Boyd Packer who, in a moment of remarkable candor, told us that there would be times when we would go against what the handbook said, because it would the right thing to do for the situation.
From GREGORY A. PRINCE: LOOKING AT LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF FAITH
In my experience, from those times I have had where we had general authorities visiting stakes I was in, there is a continuous teaching by those in authority, including people like Elder Packer (from whom most would never expect it) that the handbook is not always right.
The second part of that is that while we should be familiar with the handbook(s) we should be more familiar with the Spirit so that we will not find ourselves a slave to it when the Spirit would guide us otherwise.
Often the message I got was that we should be aware that the exceptions may well swallow the rule from time to time. That was a surprise to me then.
I’m sure you can think of times when you had a handbook or guidebook that turned out to be better ignored in a specific situation than followed.
At the same time, I’m sure everyone has heard the analogy of a handbook = a skeleton; that without the framework, it becomes impossible to do things in a reliable or a recognizable fashion and that reinventing the wheel every time we need to do something is incredibly time consuming.
At work, where I do a lot of writing, I have found that to be true. My audiences will not recognize what I have to say if I don’t follow a format that they recognize. If I don’t have structure, the writing ceases to have meaning. If I decide to be creative with fonts or spacing, I interject a layer of confusion between myself and my audience. I’ve come to appreciate handbooks.
I’ve also come to appreciate the weaknesses of handbooks — the need for constant reminders and glosses and explanations of what the guidance in a handbook should mean and why.
E.g., from the most recent general conference:
“Today’s “common judge[s]” [or bishops] (D&C 107:74) should avoid any … impulse to condemn. … A righteous judge would respond to confessions with compassion and understanding. … Otherwise, the bishop may unwittingly drive the lost sheep further into the wilderness (see Luke 15:4). …””
(From the official summary of Elder Lynn G. Robbins’ talk).
So:
- Can you share a time that a handbook was wrong?
- Can you share a time when a handbook was right?
- How do we teach the lesson that handbooks are useful while not teaching people to ignore the Spirit (or to just not seek the Spirit)?
- What glosses or explanations of how the handbook be applied, understood or used have you found to be the most useful or pertinent?
I’d love our readers thoughts and comments.
Wheat & Tares 
Pres. Uchtdorf said as much as well at the 2012 Worldwide leadership mtg
https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-leadership-training/2012/01/acting-on-the-truths-of-the-gospel-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng
“As you have noticed, the new handbooks do not specify in great detail every action you are to take in your calling. These handbooks were provided for the right amount of structure without regimenting every detail. It might be wise to look at the handbooks and even the scriptures not as checklists or detailed scripts but rather as opportunities to prepare our minds and hearts to receive divine inspiration for our responsibilities.
Unfortunately, we sometimes don’t seek revelation or answers from the scriptures or the handbooks because we think we know the answers already.
Brothers and sisters, as good as our previous experience may be, if we stop asking questions, stop thinking, stop pondering, we can thwart the revelations of the Spirit. Remember, it was the questions young Joseph asked that opened the door for the restoration of all things. We can block the growth and knowledge our Heavenly Father intends for us. How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew?”
The new handbooks came out while I was Primary President. About a year later we moved to VA and was put in the Primary Presidency there. They did so many things differently!! In Idaho We’d stopped having quarterly activities as suggested and now VA just kept on doing whatever they wanted to do. Quarterly activities? Sure. Big parties in the gym after the primary program? Why not.
It was a big struggle for me to not follow word by word and go along. Haha. If they could only see me now.
I was actually surprised at just how often the leadership gives us the message that the Holy Spirit has tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew — including things in the handbooks.
At one of the training sessions my husband had as bishop, then Elder Monson said, “If you err, err on side of mercy.” Great advice!
Back in the 1980’s when my bishop/husband attended a training session, then Elder Monson said, “If you err, err on the side of mercy.” Excellent advice for anyone who has a calling–or not.
“Surgical Sterilization (Including Vasectomy)
The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. Surgical sterilization should be considered only if (1) medical conditions seriously jeopardize life or health or (2) birth defects or serious trauma have rendered a person mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions. Such conditions must be determined by competent medical judgment and in accordance with law. Even then, the persons responsible for this decision should consult with each other and with their bishop and should receive divine confirmation of their decision through prayer.”
I have often wondered about this section as it confuses me. I have had “the snip” and did so after the decision to not have anymore than four children. And so the vasectomy was not done to prevent us having any more children, per se, as we had already made that decision. Having a vasectomy was a way to ensure that decision was maintained.
So for the person who does not have medical or mental issues, and for one like me who has made the decision to not have any more children, why does the church strongly discourage me from having this procedure.
And what does strongly discourage actually mean??? Is there a temporal or spiritual consequence to having that procedure???
As a former Stake President once said, “We follow the handbook, except when we don’t.”
The new handbooks came out while I was Primary President. About a year later we moved to VA and was put in the Primary Presidency there. They did so many things differently!! In Idaho We’d stopped having quarterly activities as suggested and now VA just kept on doing whatever they wanted to do. Quarterly activities? Sure. Big parties in the gym after the primary program? Why not.
It was a big struggle for me to not follow word by word and go along. Haha. If they could only see me now.
I like that the new handbooks are less prescriptive, and generally leave more room for adaptation. I sometimes wish leaders might feel more confident in making adaptations. On the other hand in my own callings I have appreciated being able to refer to the handbook to back up what I’ve been doing when challenged. So…
Another problem is having long-time leaders remembering instructions from previous handbooks, in addition to decades old instructions from then Area leaders, which instead of discarding in favour of the latest handbook, they hang onto, whilst the latest instructions simply become an additional layer to previous accretions. That really does get unwieldy. Yep. Please forget what you thought you knew, and start again!!!
The “Why Didn’t Someone Tell Me . . .” series title kind of says it all on this one. If you have to be told when it’s an exception and not a rule, you probably don’t possess the kind of judgment required to break rules well.
10 years or so ago Elder Bedinar told us that if the hand book didn’t specifically say you must do something, ormust not do then you could. But the reality is that we can’t even stand for the intermediate unless someone from above tells us to, even though the hymn book doesn’t say you shouldn’t. We are certainly can’t do anything innovative.
Comfort levels are a huge thing, as are the desires to be part of a community and to abide its unwritten rules.
There are good reasons that the handbooks were not designed or intended for general distribution — to make it easier to not follow them.
I think the old handbook instructed presiding officers at funerals to be the concluding speaker. This policy hasn’t always been a good thing. I know that at my mother’s funeral, the stake presidency counselor who concluded the service, was a disaster. He didn’t know our family or it’s complications and presumed to speak for her, as from the dead. It started off being very uncomfortable and then rather offensive, but then it got so bad I suddenly felt disassociated from the event, like I somehow stepped back and was witnessing the event from outside, astounded that it was actually happening. In the end, most of us felt much worse for that obviously well-meaning but bumbling man we mostly just felt sorry for him.
In our ward, we hadn’t been following that policy for years. The presiding authority didn’t speak, accept as requested, but he did approve the program and made sure the concluding speaker (man or woman) was someone of faith who could conclude the meeting on the right note. When somebody brought it up, we discovered the handbook had changed. Hallelujah.