I often criticize black and white thinking, either all of it is true or none of it is true type of thing. This came to mind today in regards to Jeremy Runnells’ disciplinary council for his actions with the CES Letter. It seems to me that so many people who were once orthodox with a shallow understanding of the Gospel read it and immediately see what they knew wasn’t totally true, and they fairly quickly flip to the other side. This post isn’t about Jeremy, though. It’s about myself. Today I realized that just this week I fell into this very trap last week here on Wheat and Tares.
[Backstory] So a few weeks ago I got a treadmill off of craigslist so I can start moving (with my lupus going outside to walk is not an option in Rexburg winters) and start feeling better. Since I was stuck on a treadmill I started listening to podcasts; I caught up on Serial, listened to a few by the Maxwell Institute, and this week I listened to the last two Dialogue Podcasts. At least on the two I listened to so far with Patrick Mason and Lisa Olson Tait, they are recordings of speeches given at Miller Eccles events in SoCal. I enjoyed these much more than traditional podcast formats, mostly because I would have gone to those events myself to hear them if I’d been nearby.
Lisa Olson Tait spoke on the question Was Susa Young Gates a “Feminist?” From the description on the ME website:
Susa Young Gates was a remarkable woman; preeminent in a generation of eminent Mormon women—a writer, editor, Church leader, genealogist, temple worker, political operative, and dynamic personality who claimed she was called the “thirteenth apostle.” She advocated the advancement of women in politics, education, employment, physical health, and domesticity. But she was also largely responsible for formulating the paradigm that “men have priesthood and women have motherhood,” and she firmly advocated a belief in male headship as immutable eternal truth. The apparent contradictions in her life and ideas bring to the fore both the uses and the limitations of Mormon women’s history in speaking to current issues.
Her speech was really excellent and I highly recommend it. And after listening I felt a bit chagrined because of my comments on Hawkgrrl’s “If You Let A Woman Hold Her Baby” here at Wheat & Tares last week:
So
If you teach mormon women their history,
they’re going to learn that all of their foremothers were feminists
and they’re going to learn they were social justice advocates
and they’re going to learn we have less authority and power than they used to
And they just might not trust patriarchy how you want them toand that just scares the crap out of everyone
I fell victim to the same trap I criticize others for: seeing things in black and white. I know the stories of many of our foremothers are filled with advocating for women’s rights and women’s suffrage and according to my modern definition, that makes them feminists. But If I look at her whole life and her teachings and the things she advocated for….and if she would ever claim the title….things get much more messy.
Women back then believed in the theology of men being the head of the woman because men were superior and women were subordinate (literally in letters back and forth between Susa and Joseph Fielding Smith they both acknowledged that her husband and JFS were her superiors to her). Thus the man is at the head and becomes a God, a woman can never achieve godhood – but because a man can’t achieve it without her, she shares in his glory. Susa really struggled with the idea that women weren’t ordained to the priesthood, and part of her making sense and coming to peace with it was her teaching that the calling of motherhood was the equivalent of priesthood ordination (not even JFS made this equivalency, in his letters he had motherhood=fatherhood). These days we’ve dropped the idea that men are superior (mostly) but kept the presiding, head of the family bit without the logic that it stood on. And since the logic is gone, we have it rest upon Susa’s motherhood=priesthood theory.
Susa, if you were here I would tell you that you kicked trash in every way, but you also make me want to stab myself with a spoon. Self, lesson learned. Our foremothers’ lives and contributions can’t be painted with such simplistic brushes. And I fall victim to black/white thinking every time I do it myself.
Wheat & Tares 
Melanie Klein explains the infantile roots of black and white thinking.
I listened to that podcast a few weeks ago, and like you was distressed to discover she was the originator of priesthood = motherhood. I have a hard time imagining what it must have been like growing up as a woman in a culture in which the inferiority of women was so much a given, that the position that women could only be saved by marriage, child-bearing, and as taught at one point by polygamy, was something they believed and celebrated. It hurts my heart.
I agree, her story was heartbreaking; and she did the best with it given her circumstances. She was such a fascinating woman, filled with contradictions caused by her time, and yet still such an inspiration. After having lived through six years of an abusive marriage she was divorced, and remarried into what seemed by outside indications a fairly egalitarian relationship for the rest of her life. Her second husband seemed to want another wife, but she wanted nothing to do with it….so again she reconciled w the fact by sealing a woman to her husband after he died.
You guys the fruit of polygamy was not good. BY bragging that he didn’t even know the name of all of his wives….ugh. I just can’t.
Great post. “Thus the man is at the head and becomes a God, a woman can never achieve godhood – but because a man can’t achieve it without her, she shares in his glory.” This is one of my greatest fears. I hate that because of our lack of doctrine on Heavenly Mother that this could be plausible. I don’t believe this, but I hate that if others do, there is nothing concrete in our beliefs that can refute this. In fact, some things seem to support it. Ughh. I remember talking to one of my bishops about my concerns about the temple and phrasing it like this, “You know how men have the priesthood, and women receive the blessings of the priesthood through their husbands? I don’t want godhood to be where my husband is a god, and I receive the blessings of godhood through my husband but never become one.” I sincerely hope we receive more revelation about Heavenly Mother.
That was hyperbole.
Kristine, this was excellent.
It also goes to show how doctrinal justifications rely so heavily on cultural assumptions. If it is a given in the culture that men are superior, you’ll develop your understanding around that. It’s also why the motherhood=priesthood justification becomes so problematic in a culture where it is a given that men and women are equal. It feels more obvious that fatherhood=motherhood with priesthood as a separate matter related to administration.
Mary (#4): This is my fear as well. How did your Bishop respond?
Mary, #4, yes, I fear the same thing! The dark, terrifying center of my faith crisis has been my fear that what the temple, polygamy, and past prophets have taught about women’s inherent inferiority is true. It has made me scared of God and the next life. I was depressed for a week after I listened to the Susa Young Gates podcast and heard JSF’s explanation to Susa about women’s inferiority. It just fit in so well with everything I have been afraid of these years.
Well the frustrating part was that he said he had never heard these concerns from anyone before. But after I started talking with him, he understood why I was concerned. The way he put it was, “it’s like you’re always the first counselor but never the bishop.” And I was like, “Yes, exactly. You’re both supposedly gods, but only one of your really is.” He was a good bishop. He recognized that he couldn’t address these concerns. He suggested that I maybe talk to a temple matron about them and of course to pray about them.
I had another bishop who was pretty good too. He said he even talked to Heavenly Mother sometimes. He didn’t “pray” to her, but he would wonder about her and talk to her.
Yes it’s so frustrating how really hurtful, completely wrong past teachings are never refuted. It just adds fuel to the fear fire and to people who honestly believe benevolent sexism is God’s plan. Ughh. It’s drives me crazy how we preach about the importance of separate gender roles and responsibilities and then tell women every week they can become just like their Heavenly Father and that they can emulate all of these male role models in the scriptures and elsewhere.
Of course men and women can develop the same traits and attributes as our Heavenly Father and Jesus. The only problem is that one of their crowning attributes is their priesthood power, authority, and keys. But it’s not like those are a big deal or anything – you know they just are the way the universe was organized :p
Amen. We have all seen this happen first hand with women praying in General Conference. Once the question was raised why women haven’t prayed in GC, all of the most ridiculous, unfounded, and doctrinally incorrect answers started coming out of the woodwork. The default assumption was if this is the ways things are, then this must be how God wants it. And well men have the priesthood, so we won’t say they’re superior, but we’ll just act like it culturally and defend a sexist tradition because you know the priesthood helps you pray better?
In a church that believes in continuing revelation, believing that God’s ideal is a 19th century construct is questionable at best. I don’t want people to start saying that women shouldn’t expect to become like Heavenly Father. If Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother are true equals, aspiring to one position is equivalent to aspiring to the other. If we suddenly say that women can *never* be like Heavenly Father, then it is too easy to fall into the men=God and women=something else trap. I want more info about Heavenly Mother, but I want it when we as an entire church have developed an ability to see men and women as true equals. My 9-yr-old girly-girl daughter has independently picked up on gender discrepancies in Primary songs and among church leadership. I was a smart kid, but I don’t remember catching on that early. The culture is changing.
Yes! I’d rather they wait until we get a little farther along before our leaders come out with any doctrinal pronouncements about it. I guarantee we wouldn’t like what the current 12 would have to say about eternal polygamy. One case where patience is a blessing.
Completely agree MaryAnn. I do not want to go down that women=something else route.
I agree with you all about how aspiring to become like Heavenly Father is the equivalent of aspiring to be like Heavenly Mother because I belive their attributes, power, authority, omniscience, love, etc. is the same. The problem I see is that currently it seems most church members believe that women’s roles are important, but they are different from men’s and therefore from Heavenly Father’s, which puts women in the not a god but something else category. I suppose I would hope revelation on the true character and nature of Heavenly Mother would come forth and push our incorrect cultural practices and beliefs to change, but it may be better to wait until people can actually treat women not as auxiliary and counselors but rather as primary agents and decision makers with God-like potential.